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First LHC Data Hint At New Particle
Anonymous Dupeur writes "Only 12 hours after the start of operation of the Large Hardon Collider at an unprecedentedly high energy level, a discovery had been made. Today, in its press release, CERN disclosed the observation of a new class — paleoparticles. 'It's awful,' explains Alain Grand, still shocked by the discovery. 'It left horrible tracks inside the detector that made the physicists on duty at the time feel quite sick.' No wonder. The particle consists of two strange quarks and one top quark but no beauty or charm quark. The physicists have nicknamed it the 'neutrinosaurus.' This marks a first success of the — finally — started experiment."
ahh yes, the "Devil Particle"
although wouldn't the existence of a Devil Particle prove the existence of the God Particle?
Karma: Excellent. 15 moderator points expire sometime.
Aww, I was expecting a funny picture of a CERN scientist being chased by a velocineutron. Bah.
Some even speculate a series of avian particles evolved from paleoparticles as the universe cooled.
I know it's 1 April and everything but did anyone notice anything strange in the spelling of `Large Hardon Collider`?
Forgive my spelling from time to time. I'm often posting during short breaks.
It reached back through time and disabled the LHC several times just so that it could ensure it would not be discovered until April Fools day.
Where are we going and why are we in a handbasket?
"Hints of the new particle had already been glimpsed in two events at Fermilab but the statistics were too low to be published. The four events observed at the LHC generated an exponential increase (2^2=4) in the statistics, allowing the physicists to announce the discovery unequivocally. "
That made me laugh out loud at work (I'm on lunch, give me a break).
and unplugging. Not even worth going on the web at this point. All news is crap jokes that are fooling no one. Part of the 4/1 joke should be that it might fool someone.
Quarks? It's all been one extended April Fools joke from the first "discovery" of atoms - get with reality people. It's all about the four Aristotelian essences.
Well, I for one totally bought into the complex ploy that Slashdot was populated by mature individuals that could take an unfunny joke or a slight inconvenience and not rage and piss their pants all over their keyboard! I mean I've believed it for months! Good show Slashdot! I'm the biggest April Fool!
Parent obviously contains too many grumpy quarks.
More exciting than "that's funny" is "No no, that's impossible, everyone RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
The enemies of Democracy are
At least you get to hear it more often. There are a few things you do not want to hear in a nuclear lab. One of them is "Now that's odd, that shouldn't happen..."
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Lol April Fools!
Security is mostly a superstition... Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. - Helen Keller