Slashdot Mirror


The Struggle To Keep Java Relevant

snydeq writes "Fatal Exception's Neil McAllister questions Oracle's ability to revive interest in Java in the wake of Oracle VP Jeet Kaul's announcement at EclipseCon that he would 'like to see people with piercings doing Java programming.' 'If Kaul is hoping Java will once again attract youthful, cutting-edge developers, as it did when it debuted in 1995, [Kaul] may be in for a long wait,' McAllister writes. 'Java has evolved from a groundbreaking, revolutionary language platform to something closer to a modern-day version of Cobol.' And, as McAllister sees it, 'Nothing screams "get off my lawn" like a language controlled by Oracle, the world's largest enterprise software vendor. The chances that Java can attract the mohawks-and-tattoos set today seem slimmer than ever.'"

17 of 667 comments (clear)

  1. Re:What is out there right now? by Macrat · · Score: 4, Funny

    So what do people with piercings do now?

    Work at Starbucks.

  2. Nothing screams get off my lawn like this comment by jason.sweet · · Score: 3, Funny

    like to see people with piercings doing Java programming.

    The amount of drugs involved in the decision to get said piercings is not conducive to good software engineering.

  3. Here's how to make Java again by grepya · · Score: 5, Funny

    The problem with Java today is... it's syntax looks too much like C. And as everybody knows, C is for geezers. Can't we write java code as follows:

    <class>
    <classname>MyPony</classname>
    <method>Run</method>
    <code>
    <if><condition>IsExcited</conditon>
    <if_block>walkFaster </if_block>
    </if>
    <method>trot</method>
    <method>gallop</gallop>

    .
    .
    etc...
      Once the java manufacturing association fixes the syntax to my satisfaction, I'd give up on my 10 GL super auto functional metaprogrammers language (Saufml) and start writing java code. Until then, I'll keep working on my latest NoSql data-store for my soon to be mobile-social-media-empire (leveraging P2P crowd-sourcing) in my beloved Saufml.

  4. Re:good coders will follow the money by pushing-robot · · Score: 4, Funny

    So true. Popularity is one of the worst ways to measure interest.

    --
    How can I believe you when you tell me what I don't want to hear?
  5. Re:Here's how to make Java again by travisb828 · · Score: 3, Funny

    To get buy in from the geezers, you should get in the habit of formatting your code. It makes things easier to read, and it just looks more professional. CamelCase also is helpful in improving readability, and to enforce proper code formatting you should make formatting part of the syntax.

    Doesn't this look so much nicer? I almost forgot. You will need a declaration.

    <?saufml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8" ?>
    <Class>
            <ClassName>MyPony</ClassName>
            <Method name="Run">
                    <Code>
                            <If>
                                    <Condition>IsExcited</Condition>
                                    <If_Block>walkFaster </If_Block>
                            </If>
                    </Code>
            </Method>
            <Method name="trot" />
            <Method name="gallop" />
    </Class>

  6. Re:What is out there right now? by nitehawk214 · · Score: 4, Funny

    So what do people with piercings do now?

    Work at Starbucks.

    Java engineers.

    --
    I'm a good cook. I'm a fantastic eater. - Steven Brust
  7. Re:Groovy by simoncpu+was+here · · Score: 4, Funny

    I was about to mod you funny when I realized that "groovy" is a programming language, not something that describes Java.

    Oh well, I also realized that I'm starting to grow my own lawn...

  8. Re:Tempest, meet teacup... by Alex+Belits · · Score: 1, Funny

    Java programmer never seen a program that fits into L2 cache of a modern CPU, so Java performance seems "excellent" to him.

    --
    Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
  9. Re:good coders will follow the money by moosesocks · · Score: 3, Funny

    - 5000 is apparently the limit for the number of results a query can provide at monster.com (weak) so there are most likely far more that 5000 java jobs in their database

    Yeah. Apparently their java-based search engine runs out of memory at around 5000 results....

    --
    -- If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? - Uli's moose
  10. Help keep C relevant in the modern era! by symbolset · · Score: 2, Funny

    Why is noone asking to examine the C programming language, to adapt it to modern programming processes and methods? Why is noone speaking out to defend C as a useful language, to update the aged methods of Kernighan and Ritchie?

    Oh, wait. Never mind. That was a stupid question.

    --
    Help stamp out iliturcy.
  11. Re:good coders will follow the money by noidentity · · Score: 2, Funny

    Yeah. Apparently their java-based search engine runs out of memory at around 5000 results....

    It's evolved beyond those other languages that don't limit population growth, and later crash due to overconsumption.

  12. Re:the best programmers? by keeboo · · Score: 3, Funny

    I have tattoos, and I used to have piercings.

    According to people with piercings and tatoos that is "+4 Insightful".

    I'm also a damn good coder.

    Thanks for your unbiased opinion.

    I seriously doubt the two are related.

    I seriously doubt a person who uses him/herself as a positive example to prove a point.

  13. Re:What is out there right now? by mrjb · · Score: 2, Funny
    "I would like to see people with piercings doing Java programming,"

    Never mind the people. I just want to see those piercings doing Java programming.

    --
    Visit http://ringbreak.dnd.utwente.nl/~mrjb/growingbettersoftware to download your free copy of the book
  14. Re:good coders will follow the money by _newwave_ · · Score: 2, Funny

    Actually, it's a cached page from google, because this stupid end user (aka, comment author) didn't have the sense that the JVM takes 5 hours to start and set is browser timeout settings appropriately. the last time this article was actually worked it stopped at 5k results when the dinosaur that "engineered" it thought that 10 minutes of up-time with results he liked meant that the http request to MSSQL Reporting worked.

  15. Re:I've.never.used.groovy.so.I.have.a.question. by owlstead · · Score: 2, Funny

    But you would still have to type "out.", what are you thinking?

  16. Re:the best programmers? by spiffmastercow · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm often amazed at the level of hostility on /. to anyone who claims they are good at what they do. In comparison to the programmers/developers/software engineers/architects/whatever title inflation demands a coder be called, I'm pretty good. And I should be, since I've been coding for 15 years. Judging someone's coding ability based on their appearance is utterly retarded, as is believing in stupid rules like 'only people who suck at something will claim to be good at it'.

  17. Re:I've.never.used.groovy.so.I.have.a.question. by Javagator · · Score: 2, Funny
    I think you are too quick to put people posting here in boxes

    You're probably right. Maybe I should have added a Cowboy Neal box.