How To Find Bad Programmers

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Posted by samzenpus on Friday April 9, 2010 @04:16AM from the how-little-work-can-you-do-in-a-day dept.

AmberShah writes "The job post is your potential programmer's first impression of your company, so make it count with these offputting features. There are plenty of articles about recruiting great developers, but what if you are only interested in the crappy ones?" I think much of the industry is already following these guidelines.

10 of 359 comments (clear)

Start a MU* by Wyatt+Earp · 2010-04-09 04:20 · Score: 4, Funny

You want bad programmers? Start a MUD/MUX/MUSH and advertise for coders, you'll get the damned scum of the earth, a Mos Eisley cantina of crap coders
Step 1 by BadAnalogyGuy · 2010-04-09 04:21 · Score: 5, Funny

Step 1: Create an Ask Slashdot looking for (ironically) *good* programmers
Step 2: Identify all self-identified good programmers
Done!
for a real class act by rubycodez · 2010-04-09 04:43 · Score: 4, Funny

The really classy HR and Recruiter turds put down requirements for years of experience greater than the time the technology has been in existence. For developers, 16 years J2EE required! 10 years .NET a must! 8+ years Red Hat Enterprise Linux deployment!
Bonus points for confounding distribution release numbers and internal software version numbers, or assuming only RedHat distributes GNU/Linux.
1. Re:for a real class act by kgo · 2010-04-09 05:15 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I'm hunting right now. The best case of this by far is:
  Visual Studio .NET 2008 - 5 years experience
  (1) DO THE MATH! (At least when people were asking for ten years of web development experience in 1995, the web wasn't called WWW-90)
  (2) WHAT THE HELL IS VISUAL STUDIO EXPERIENCE?
  
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  Can you construct some sort of rudimentary lathe?
You want bad programmers? by damn_registrars · 2010-04-09 04:52 · Score: 5, Funny

You have definitely come to the right place!

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Damn_registrars has no butt-hole. Damn_registrars has no use for a butt-hole.
Simple by MightyMartian · 2010-04-09 04:55 · Score: 3, Funny

Interviewer: "Do you code exclusively in PHP?"
Answer: "Yup! Been using it ever since I gave up VB6."
Interviewer: "You're hired!"

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The world's burning. Moped Jesus spotted on I50. Details at 11.
Careful! by gillbates · 2010-04-09 05:20 · Score: 3, Funny
Some people here could fill that job!
1. DOS
2. Windows
3. Linux
4. MVS
5. HP-UX
6. Solaris
And....
1. Java
2. JavaScript
3. HTML
4. XML
5. C++
6. C
7. Tcl
8. Natural
9. Cobol (Gah, my eyes!)
10. JCL
11. Perl
12. Lisp
13. Visual Basic
14. x86 Assembly
15. ARM Assembly
16. VHDL
Okay, I have to write this to get past the lameness filter. But listing too many languages is likely to get you a very experienced engineer, not a bad programmer.
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Re:Agism rears its ugly head again by Nutria · 2010-04-09 05:29 · Score: 4, Funny

Not cocky enough to be Good.

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"I don't know, therefore Aliens" Wafflebox1
Re:looking for C/C+/C++ programmers by TheSpoom · 2010-04-09 05:32 · Score: 4, Funny

Well, you'll certainly get bad programmers if you choose the ones with 'C+' on their resume.

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It's better to vote for what you want and not get it than to vote for what you don't want and get it.
- E. Debs
Re:Recruitment Agencies by lgw · 2010-04-09 06:21 · Score: 3, Funny

My favorite result from a recruiter - and this was an "in-house" recruiter, which are often the best - is this story. We were building a Windows appliance, so I was looking for a UI programmer with Windows experience and any kind of background with industrial automation or appliance UIs. Any experience with blade server management a plus.
I got resumes from guys who had done industrial automaiton for ... manufacturing window frames ... and turbine blades. There really is nothing going on in these guys' heads: it's just keyword matching, nothing more.

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Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.