George Washington Racks Up 220 Years of Late Fees At Library

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

George Washington Racks Up 220 Years of Late Fees At Library

Posted by samzenpus on Monday April 19, 2010 @05:15AM from the at-least-he-read dept.

Everyone knows that George Washington couldn't tell a lie. What you probably didn't know is that he couldn't return a library book on time. From the article: "New York City's oldest library says one of its ledgers shows that the president has racked up 220 years' worth of late fees on two books he borrowed, but never returned. One of the books was the 'Law of Nations,' which deals with international relations. The other was a volume of debates from Britain's House of Commons. Both books were due on Nov. 2, 1789."

24 of 146 comments (clear)

And he decided to pay the late fees... by Doug52392 · 2010-04-19 05:16 · Score: 5, Funny

... in $1 bills.
1. Re:And he decided to pay the late fees... by Shakrai · 2010-04-19 05:30 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  You've got a +5 funny right now, but you won't think this is a laughing matter when Philip Baker Hall shows up at Mount Vernon to collect the debt....
  
  --
  I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
  We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
2. Re:And he decided to pay the late fees... by JWSmythe · 2010-04-19 08:44 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Well, they'd probably accept a federally issued picture id. He could whip a dollar bill out and say "look, me." Then again, with decomposition, he probably doesn't look much like his pictures any more. That, and folks may get the heebie jeebies when a decomposing zombie comes walking in to pay a bill. :)
  
  --
  Serious? Seriousness is well above my pay grade.
3. Re:And he decided to pay the late fees... by AnotherUsername · 2010-04-19 09:38 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  "Shoot it!"
  
  "But's it's former President George Washington! That's practically treason!"
  
  "It wants our brains! Shoot it! It's coming through the door!"
  
  "But, but...President! Founding Father! George Washington!"
  
  "Zombie Apocalypse begins today if you don't shoot it!"
  
  "But this is the Father of our Country"
  
  "I don't care, give me the gun!"
  
  BOOM!
  
  "You...you shot George Washington...Who...Who are you?"
  
  "Ash Williams. You can thank me now."
  
  --
  I don't like Linux. This doesn't make me a troll.
4. Re:And he decided to pay the late fees... by rockNme2349 · 2010-04-19 09:39 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  So..... Dear George, your library fees are now -$32768.00
  It turns out if you wait long enough you no longer owe money on them, but the library will pay you to bring them back!
  
  --
  Sewage Treatment Facilities - "Our duty is clear."
case by CSHARP123 · 2010-04-19 05:17 · Score: 4, Funny

When he goes to renew his Library card next time, bring a case against him and collect lots of those Washingtons
1. Re:case by Anonymous Coward · 2010-04-19 05:26 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  looks like he really bucked the system lol
2. Re:case by hagar� · 2010-04-19 12:18 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  "Reductio ad Hitlerum!" This is hardly the time or place for references to Harry Potter.
  
  --
  Insert something insightful here, or I'll insert something painful there.
Obligatory by cosm · 2010-04-19 05:19 · Score: 5, Funny

Epoch fail.

--
'We are trying to prove ourselves wrong as quickly as possible, because only in that way can we find progress.' RPF
Hey man by Anonymous Coward · 2010-04-19 05:22 · Score: 2, Funny

don't Bundy that book
It's a clue. by Toonol · 2010-04-19 05:24 · Score: 4, Funny

Get Nick Cage on the case; those two books no doubt contain directions to the Illuminati's treasure stored in the hidden fortress of the Masons.
1. Re:It's a clue. by Anonymous Coward · 2010-04-19 08:02 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  No, you silly billy. We're talking about the Illuminati, not the Knights Templar.
Re:So... by Kratisto · 2010-04-19 05:28 · Score: 2, Funny

Not at your local library, if you live in New York.

--
Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
Quirk Books Already on It by XPulga · 2010-04-19 05:34 · Score: 2, Funny

After "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" and "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", I'm pretty sure Quirk Books must already be working on a tale that involves Mr. Bookman (from Seinfeld, season 3) travelling back in time, terminator-style, to charge late fees on George Washington. That modifies the course of history. Last scene on the book, Bookman is back to the 20th century and the country formerly known as USA is now part of Canada. In the place of the Statue of Liberty, a huge green statue of Celine Dion greets the New Yorkers.
Re:So... by AnonymousClown · 2010-04-19 05:38 · Score: 3, Funny

If we go to a better news source, we see that

Sadly for fans of 18th-Century political literature, they appear to have vanished.
BBC?! So, you're implying the British took them?

--
RIP America
July 4, 1776 - September 11, 2001
send bookman to get the book back! by Joe+The+Dragon · 2010-04-19 05:47 · Score: 2, Funny

send bookman to get the book back!
Authors suing for loss of IP? by spookymonster · 2010-04-19 05:47 · Score: 4, Funny

I mean, think of how much revenue they must've lost!

--
- Despite popular opinion, I am not perfect.
US Federal Debt by Anonymous Coward · 2010-04-19 05:53 · Score: 5, Funny

Now we know why the US Federal Debt is so high. That fine is probably still being carried by the Office of the President.
Re:So... by batquux · 2010-04-19 05:53 · Score: 3, Funny

And what happened to privacy? What would Washington think about the library publishing what books he borrowed and how much he owes in fees?
Re:So... by negRo_slim · 2010-04-19 05:57 · Score: 3, Funny

Too shay.

--
On the Oregon Cost born and raised, On the beach is where I spent most of my days
Re:Not quite so late, but... by Chas · 2010-04-19 05:59 · Score: 4, Funny

I was related to Mary Coyle Chase
Technically, you still are.

--

Chas - The one, the only.
THANK GOD!!!
Re:So... by masmullin · 2010-04-19 06:40 · Score: 4, Funny

He'd think "bbbbrraaaaaaaaaiiiinnnssssszzzz" because thats what Zombies think.
Re:So... by laron · 2010-04-19 09:29 · Score: 3, Funny

That was a bit over the top, just to get back two books, wasn't it?

--
"Beware of he who would deny you access to information, for in his heart he dreams himself your master."
And they want to run healthcare... by gillbates · 2010-04-19 14:53 · Score: 1, Funny
When it takes 220 years for a government institution to figure out that a book is overdue, does anyone really think it would be a good idea to let them run a health care system?
I know its humorous because this is just a library book, but it serves as a striking example of how government bureaucracies can depart from the supposed intentions of their founders. Consider:
1. How many other library patrons got to keep their books for so long overdue without adverse consequences? Clearly, the library believed that all patrons were created equal, just some more equal than others.
2. And why is it that ordinary New Yorkers have to pay a fine when their items are a mere few weeks overdue, but if you are a certain *Virginian*, you get to keep the book for as long as you wish, and should you bother returning it, the library isn't even interested in collecting a fine? Talk about corruption!
3. And when it comes to corruption, is there anyone who does it better than New York? These guys are still offering favors to politicians *even after they're dead*. In Chicago, hey, the dead vote, but we don't offer them favors!
4. Perhaps the library isn't a den of corruption. But if so, isn't it troubling that the people we trust with our literary treasures took more than two centuries to recognize a book was overdue?
Ok, this is kind of a half-hearted jest, but I think there are some real points to be made about the way the government works more for the people in power than for the interests of the average citizen.
--
The society for a thought-free internet welcomes you.