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Spoiler-Free Iron Man 2 Review
Although it's not out until May 7, brumgrunt sent us a spoiler-free review of Iron Man 2. The short verdict is that it's not as good as the last one, but considering how much acclaim was piled on that, I don't really think anyone was expecting that.
Jews, also known as kikes, hebes, hymies, yids, gold niggers, oven magnets, hook noses, sheenies, swindlers, criminals, "firewood", and Arabs in denial are a subhuman species of reptilian extra-terrestrials and adherents to one of the world's oldest major religions, called "Judaism", otherwise known as "The Worship of Money" or "Eating Arab Babies".
Judaism was the world's first master race theory. The Jew religion teaches that Jews are the Chosen People of God and that there is a sacred mystical quality to Jew DNA. In olden times, Jew prophets would, under the command of YHWH, frequently lead the Jews on genocidal rampages against neighboring populations, and even today Jew leaders often cite Jewish religious ideals to justify their ongoing genocide of sandniggers. Judaism ironically found its mirror-image inversion in the anti-Jew Aryan racialism of the Nazis.
Despite only being 0.22% of the world's population, Jews control 99% of the world's money. Not only do the Jews control the world, but also the media, the banks, the space program, and LiveJournal's porn communities and Gay communities. All Jews possess the following features: an extremely large nose, fake boobs, curly hair that reeks of faggotry, one of those gay hats, a love of coke, a law practice, a roll of money, a small cock, or shitty taste in dental hygiene.
Jews invented both Communism and Capitalism. Karl Marx, of course, was a Jew, which was why he understood money so well, and in fact he was converted to Communism by another Jew, Moses Hess, the actual founder of Zionism, who ghost-wrote Marx's The German Ideology. Capitalism was created when Christian Europeans threw away their morals and decided to embrace Jewish practices like usury (see: John Calvin). Jews were the first group to create a sophisticated banking system, which they used to fund the Crusades in order to pit Christians and Muslims (both adhering to religions derived from and controlled by Jews) against each other to kill as many people as possible in a macabre human sacrifice to YHWH.
The Jew banking system was based on fraud and lies, so when it inevitably collapsed, the Jews just pwned as many people as possible by unleashing the Black Plague on them. Later, Jews economically controlled medieval Venice (the first modern maritime trade empire), and then crypto-Jewish merchants economically controlled the Spanish Empire, including the slave trade. Openly Jewish bankers orchestrated the Dutch Empire and founded Jew Amsterdam (later Jew York). Later the Dutch Jews moved to London because they thought it would be a better base for a global empire, and actually brought a Dutch nobleman, William III, with them, who they installed in a coup d'état (more like Jew d'état, amirite?) as new King of the British Empire. For hundreds of years, Jewish bankers controlled global trade through their bases in Jew York City and London. European colonialism was, through its history, essentially a plot whereby Jews could gain control of gold and diamond mines in poor countries and increase their stranglehold over the global economy.
Jews also enjoy slicing up baby penises for fun, some even enjoy sucking them. See below.
Jews also created Jew search engine Google, so now they can find all Jew information on Internets.
Some suggest that we should use Jews instead of dogs to sniff out large amounts of concealed cash or anything else worth smuggling at airports due to their sensitive Jew noses. Obviously, this is a horrible idea, because the pay is bad, and the dirty Kikes would probably form a union and demand moar money, thus increasing the burden on taxpayers everywhere.
Iron Man Vs. Justin Hammer. Sounds like a.... Oh well, at least Schumacher isn't there to put nipples on the suit.
"I'm not a quack, I'm a mad scientist! There's a difference." - Dr. Cockroach
The Real Iron Man
If they're good enough for a $100,000 race horse, they're good enough for me.
...does it blend ?
Religous speak to God. Insane are spoken to by God. When all shut up, one can finally hear Shostakovich in peace
/. says "Spoiler-free" First line of article says "spoiler-light." I'm glad they said that so I could stop reading and save myself the blind rage I would have been in.
I RTFA'd and that review is not spoiler free. It gives out a good chunk of the plot of the movie as well as several pivotal scenes. So for anyone who hasn't RTFA'd yet, here's your warning. It would be nice if the Slashdot editor's RTFA'd, and while we're at it, I want a pony for my birthday.
It's coming out on Thursday on this side of the pond :p
i mean, you can't review a movie at all without giving SOMETHING away, but if you want your iron man 2 experience to be spotless, you already know not to read any reviews at all
me personally, i read lots of reviews and don't mind anything being "spoiled." in fact, many times i purposefully read the wikipedia entry for a movie to get the entire plot in my head before i see the movie. because unless you are talking about "the crying game", plot points aren't really the issue in terms of your experience being ruined. the single biggest destroyer of movie enjoyment is: expectations. movies you expect a lot from disappoint more easily. simple as that
so here goes:
!!!!!!!!
SPOILER WARNING FOR ANY SEQUEL YOU WILL EVER SEE
!!!!!!!!
1. you enjoyed the first iron man a lot,
2. so you look forward to the second iron man a lot,
3. therefore you will not be as impressed by the second iron man
with that in mind, try to enjoy iron man 2, realizing that the psychology of pleasure (anticipation more influential than delivery) means you are your own worse enemy in the entirety of your lifetime of moviegoing experiences. this lesson applies to all other experiences in your life you do for pleasure to: from going to a restaurant, to buying a car, food, to sex. there's a good reason why women tease, whether they realize it or not: the buildup of anticipation drives your pleasure more than the actual mechanical act of sex
understand psychology, master the pleasure you derive from life
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
There might be a goat in the movie. Just sayin'. Also, explosion!!!!!!!!!YEAH
Also, Italians are spying on you.
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1. Stark does what Stark does, flies around promoting Stark Expo. He works to keep Ironman away from the government.
2. Whiplash attacks Stark. Stark kicks the hell out of Whiplash using the portable in a case Ironman Suit
3. Natasha begins to work for Stark, and eventually steals a suit
4. Justin Hammer springs Whiplash from the French jail and gives him a job reverse engineering the stolen suit
5. The stolen suit becomes War Machine, and is given to Rhodes
6. Rhodes turns over War Machine to Stark which is given back to Rhodes
7. Justin Hammer and Whiplash create a bunch of automated Ironman suits
8. Warmachine and Ironman kill all the robots and work with SHIELD to take down Justin Hammer
9. Stark finds a replacement for his implant
Wallah.
RDJ is charismatic. The first film was fun. It may be the best looking BluRay I own. But most of us went in with relatively low expectations and were impressed. That doesn't mean the first film deserved all the praise it got. It doesn't hold up really well to repeat viewings. There isn't a whole lot of great action or tension.
Watch Iron Man again. Then watch Dark Knight again. Tell me Iron Man is in the same class.
I've been hoping this film would be a marked improvement over the first one and have better action sequences.
http://blindscribblings.com - Tasty pop-culture in conceptual fashion.
Naively looking at Ironman (well, 1) as a science fiction movie (it does star a technology-loving closet-nerd after all) shows that it gets most science stuff wrong as usual.
Ignoring the effects such harsh accelerations would have on a person (and the lack of an internal waste management system), it e.g. suffers from The One Secret Prototype syndrome. Technology is tightly coupled with the first implementation, and nobody but the creator understands it and nobody ever copied the blueprints. Research is done by the Lone Scientist, in this case at least a Good Guy and not a fringe groups which makes absurd advances on their own, and without anyone else noticing. Other effects of technology such as the quite advanced AI available and the power source per-se are ignored to concentrate on the action part. I wonder how well part 2 does in these areas.
Tony Stark is Iron Man ! OMG SPOILER!
There is this dude. He's kewl. Then there is this chick. She's hot in a quirky kind of way. Then there is this other dude. He's bad-ass. Then there is this smarmy guy who wants to exploit the bad-ass dude. The bad-ass dude eventually double crosses the smarmy guy and total fucks with the kewl dude. The hot-in-a-quirky-way chick gets caught in the middle. Then there is this other dude who isn't quite as kewl as the kewl dude who is like "dude!" and the other dude is like "no dude" but "dude!", They team up to fight bad-ass dude all the while the chick, the kewl dude, the not quite as kewl dude deal inbetween relentless violence deal with periodic moments of character development. Eventually kewl dude wins.
So was that a review of Iron Man 2, Robocop, Star Wars, Gone with the Wind, Star Ship Troopers, or Freddie vs. Jason?
Feel free to include any other films this review may cover....
-=[ Who Is John Galt? ]=-
Its just another mediocre comic-adaptation like, say, most of them??
FreeBSD at ab0ut 80
Just like the first, it will be utter fucking shit, but the comic book nerds on Slashdot will love it. Understand this: they are fucking idiots, and they are wrong, because this movie will be shit. Anyone who pays to see this, let alone queues in line like a Slashdot comic book nerd, is a fucking idiot by association.
And I thought that the first Iron Man was a 2hr long Audi Commercial...
That would have been great prep for going to see a Daredevil movie.
So would have been a lot of alcohol....
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
Here are five clips of IM2 which are not in the official trailers(there is a 30 seconds advertisement in the beginning of the clips).
Until the skies turn blue...
Until the air of freedom strikes us...
SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE!
Wake me up when Kick-ass 2 is out. Bloodless Bluescreen Battles are getting real old, real fast.
Is tagging this article !spoilerfree the same as !!spoiler and !!!spoilerfree and !!!!spoiler, and perhaps spoiler?
Iron Man Vs. Justin Hammer. Sounds like a.... Oh well, at least Schumacher isn't there to put nipples on the suit.
You know, the interesting thing about the nipples on the Batman suit is that initially they weren't part of the design. When Joel Schumacher first had Val Kilmer wear the suit, he realized something was missing - and so he suckled Kilmer's chest until the now-well-known nipple features of the Batman suit emerged.
Bow-ties are cool.
What you don't get however, ... a comic book movie that can be mentioned in the same breath as The Dark Knight, Spider-Man 2 or X2
All the Spider-man movies were deeply disapointing, except maybe the 3rd one, since I was still so bored from the 2nd one that I couldn't care less about it. Anyway, that takes alot of credibility from the review IMO, so I'm still hopeful of a 4+ star film.
"[...] it's not as good as the last one"
I'm having some trouble processing the "not as good" part of that statement. Do you mean it's "even worse" than the first one?
I've seen Sesame Street songs with more depth (not to mention less clichés) than the first Ironman movie.
... on a flight from the US to Europe on screens attached in the aisles (Delta Airlines). I disliked it so much I wanted to leave the cinema, but they didn't let me...
But seriously: Boy, that movie was a blow below the belt.
At least put up a Spoiler Alert before you do that. I was finally going to get around to watching Star Wars this weekend.
Bastard.
If I were God, wouldn't I protect my churches from acts of me?
a buddy of mine just did a cartoon short of how the first Iron Man should've ended. check it out: http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/
goodbye...she had another folder. 20 today. it's about
In Russia we call these types VOBBBL (Restorer of Balance, Rich, Flying, Armored). In other cultures a superhero comes from the downtrodden masses, he/she suffers the same kind of abuse and injustice so the people associate themselves with him. But take for instance Batman, he used the system to make untold fortune, well beyond the hopes of an average person and then.. decided to impose his own kind of justice. Why do you like these kind of types?
US-UK-Israel: The real Axis of Evil
Well worth it IMHO
You know, there is a difference between trolling and pointing out the flaws in your reasoning. Just saying.
... is that you ?
It's in cinemas today where I live, according to the posters plastered all over the bus stops. Did I wake up in the alternate universe where the US cinematic release is AFTER Europe, or is that date wrong?
Dumbledore sacrifices himself at the end because he was so shocked to learn the Bruce Willis was a ghost THE WHOLE TIME and the soilent green he was eating was PEOPLE.....PEOPLE you damn dirty apes!!
Don't blame me, I voted for Cthulhu.