Russian Officials To Investigate Regional President's Alien Abduction Claims

wdef writes "The BBC reports that a Russian MP has asked President Dmitry Medvedev to investigate claims by a regional president that he has met aliens on board a spaceship. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov, the leader of the southern region of Kalymkia, made his claim in a television interview. Mr Ilyumzhinov said in an interview on primetime television that he had been taken on board an alien spaceship which had come to planet Earth to take samples — and claims to have several witnesses. He has been president of Kalmykia, a small Buddhist region of Russia which lies on the shores of the Caspian Sea, for 17 years. As president of the World Chess Federation, he has spent tens of millions of dollars turning the impoverished republic into a mecca for chess players — building an entire village to host international tournaments. MP Andre Lebedev is not just asking whether Mr Ilyumzhinov is fit to govern. He is also concerned that, if he was abducted, he may have revealed details about his job and state secrets."

Comments

It's Always the Chess Players

[eldavojohn]

Why do high profile chess players always have to go completely batshit crazy?

Tomorrow we'll find out Kasparov has invented a "free energy" machine and historians have found a volume of letters from Paul Morphy claiming he controlled the moon.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[Pojut]

It's no different than a footballer or hockey player that has a broken body later on in life. Chess players use their minds like footballers and hockey players use their body.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[somersault]

Sympathetic to Fischer's plight, but reluctant to grant him the full benefits of citizenship, Icelandic authorities granted him an alien's passport.

Coincidence? I THINK NOT.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[Anonymous Coward]

Congrats, that's the dumbest thing I've read this week.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[Anonymous Coward]

Nah, probably just another spent chess player.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[d34dluk3]

Now imagining: "Oh, and those neurons just got slammed by that Rook! What a brutal hit, Steve!"

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[Thanshin]

Insightful? Seriously?

Are the modders out of their fricking minds?

They've probably played too much chess, or something.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[sonnejw0]

Actually, the APOE4 allele that predisposes to Alzheimer's Disease / Dementia also embues its recipients with a higher IQ. The hypothesis is that the brain burns out quickly, so perhaps chess players do become progressively more illogical as they burn out their logic circuits quickly in earlier life.

Re:It's Always the Chess Players

[shutdown -p now]

Tomorrow we'll find out Kasparov has invented a "free energy" machine and historians have found a volume of letters from Paul Morphy claiming he controlled the moon.

Kasparov is batshit-crazy. For one thing, he is an ardent and outspoken supporter of Fomenko's "New Chronology" - go ahead, read what's at that link, and tell me if a sane person can believe this.

Then also, politically, Kasparov is by and large a neo-con. Yes, he's still an opposition to the existing regime in Russia, and I'd prefer him over the guys who rule the country now, but overall, his politics are also rather extreme.

Dear Aliens

[eldavojohn]

What the hell? Come on aliens! Seriously? America has twice the crazies suitable for testing and ... probing. Russia is so 18th and 19th century. I promise you that for at least the next decade, Americans are the ones you want to abduct.

Mr. President there must not be an alien abduction gap! I propose we take our most popular specimens like Tom Cruise, Ke$ha, Will Smith and Robert Downey Jr. and chain them down in a random field for sampling by aliens.

Well, it worked when Mr. Smith got caught

[FreeUser]

It's amazing the extremes some politicans will go to to cover up affairs from their wives. "You see honey, I spend all weekend with...uh...ALIENS!" In other news, Ilyumzhinov is also planning a hiking trip this weekend on the Appalachian Trail--where his cellphone won't work, so don't even bother calling.

Well, it wouldn't be the first time a rediculously tall tail helped through the missus off the scent. When (Mormon founder) Joseph Smith was caught molesting a 14-year-old child, he simply told his followers (and his wife) that an angel with a sword commanded him to do it, and that everyone thereafter was ordered (by God, by way of sword-wielding angel and self-proclaimed prophet) to have more than one wife, on pain of death and damnation.

Which of course led to such wonderful quotes as:

"I think no more of taking another wife than I do of buying a cow."
- Apostle Heber C. Kimball, The Twenty Seventh Wife, Irving Wallace, p. 101.

It's an interesting progression of excuses:

1. The Devil made me do it!
2. God, in the form of an angel with a flaming sword, made me do it!
3. Aliens made me do it!

At least with aliens, it's trendy and captures the zeitgeist

Re:Well, it worked when Mr. Smith got caught

[elrous0]

Maybe the aliens are causing this rash of sex addiction that's spreading among rich, famous males.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator

[ACS Solver]

While he was appointed for his current term as Head of Kalmykia, he was previously its President without any appointment, simply by being elected. Despite the occasional controversy, he's quite popular, I believe, not in the least due to his position in FIDE. Also, the story itself is nothing extraordinary. Ilyumzhinov has been known for years as an eccentric person, and he had already mentioned being taken to alien ships on a few occasions.

Re:"Regional President"?

[Jeng]

Anyone who is sane would keep their mouths shut about it.

It's kinda like the sailors who talked about the rogue waves, it wasn't until it was properly documented that they no longer considered the victims of rogue waves of just being bad sailors and bad liars.

I don't think it works that way, though

[Moraelin]

I don't think it works that way, though. There isn't evidence that using one's brain too much can cause the same kind of damage as pulling a muscle or twisting a knee does in more physical sports. On the contrary, there is a ton of evidence by now that it can actually delay the onset of the various forms of neuro-degeneration in the old age.

But it may be that you already have to be not entirely normal up there in the first place to make it that far in chess.

Re:I don't think it works that way, though

[Bobfrankly1]

I don't think it works that way, though. There isn't evidence that using one's brain too much can cause the same kind of damage as pulling a muscle or twisting a knee does in more physical sports. On the contrary, there is a ton of evidence by now that it can actually delay the onset of the various forms of neuro-degeneration in the old age.

But it may be that you already have to be not entirely normal up there in the first place to make it that far in chess.

I was going to give this detailed retort, countering each and every one of your points, but I bruised my brain in the attempt. According to the examining physician, I may never think again...

Re:I don't think it works that way, though

[corbettw]

According to the examining physician, I may never think again...

I know a site where you'll fit right in.

Re:I don't think it works that way, though

[stwrtpj]

Actually, overuse of neurons can cause them to inflame and die. That's one of the major causes of Alzheimer's.

Um ... no, it's not.

Scientists are still trying to find the exact cause, but nothing has linked it to "overuse" of neurons. If anything, there is some evidence that mental stimulation could hold off or slow the progress of the disease.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator

[samkass]

This is very typical for Russian democracy: one wins in a shady election, "popularity" is the state-controlled media environment is totally BS.

My measure of democracy is not whether someone is elected into office, but elected out of office. So far Russia has yet to strip a President of their power via an election, so I'm still withholding my opinion on whether it's a democracy.

---
I do not believe in karma. "Funny"=-6. Do good and forbid evil. Yours, Oft-Offtopic Flamebaiting Troll.

I find Slashdot far more tolerable with Funny set to -5 as well.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator

[ACS Solver]

Do not be surprised at the popularity of authoritarian leaders in Russia. That's one of the weird things about the country. Someone who's pretty much a dictator or at least an autocrat can still be popular enough to win in a genuine election. Heck, Medvedev was elected because Putin said Medvedev is his preferred candidate. While Russian elections do apparently have vote-fixing in certain areas/demographics (not deliberate miscounts of votes, but people being forced to vote for a candidate), there's no doubt that the majority really did vote for Medvedev. Or that Putin easily had enough support for his second term.

Seems like in smaller regions of Russia, many people are happy about having a local authoritarian-style leader. I think it's one of the worst legacies of the Soviet Union in this part of the world, and a legacy that's going to be tough to get rid of. I mean the people's contentedness (contentment? not sure of the English word) to have a guy in charge that makes the calls. A "strong ruler".

This is one of the things I like about how Americans view their society. Americans and mostly happy and proud to vote, from what I've seen. They certainly would hate being in a situation where they don't have the opportunity to do so.

Re:Two words for you: crazy dictator

[Reservoir Penguin]

I am a Russian citizen and do not believe western democracy is the best form of government. I also think you believe it not because of some deep comparison and analysis you performed but because it has been beaten into you head since you were a kid. Democracy is just a way to elect a strong capable leader. We already have a strong leader and a system that passes authority to another strong leader. Why do we need crazy election eccentrics? On the other hand I have been following Western election and USA elections in particualr and I do not for a second beleive the system worked to provide you with a good leader. If the system worked than why was Bush Jr, the president, not once but TWICE?? Was he really the most capable man for the job in America for whole eight years? If the system misfires so badly why keep it.