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Scientist Infects Self With Computer Virus
superapecommando writes "A British scientist claims to have become the first human to be infected by a computer virus, in an experiment he says has important implications for the future of implantable technology. Dr Mark Gasson from the University of Reading infected a computer chip with the virus, then implanted it in his hand and transmitted the virus to a PC to prove that malware can move between human and computer."
If we're looking for firsts....
I once had a cold and sneezed on my keyboard.
Does that make me the first human to infect a computer???
Lets just hope Michael Bay doesn't read this story.
It is quite scary actually. This proves many things.
1. Flesh is not a valid software firewall. We need upgrades.
2. The human body can't fight off computer viruses with our immune system.
3. His body didn't alert him of the virus. No fever or any symptom.
I, for one, am quite scared of these recent events. How can you discount him so easily? If I get a pace maker and someone is able to root it - how will I know?
"Scientist" is retard. Loosing his funding would be the best thing that could happen to him.
One would think if his funding were loosed, he'd be quite happy.
I will now be the first human being to have Linux installed ...
*puts Linux ISO on USB flash drive and drops his pants*
My work here is dung.
If I swallow my thumb drive containing all my favorite programs, would they come out decompiled?
Let's just look on the bright side. He could have infected a small flash drive, taped it to has schlong, went to the computer, infected it, and claimed to have found the first sexually transmitted computer virus.
This has some serious implications...
"Mom, I know I said I'd try and call more often, but if you keep
bugging me at work I'm going to have to downgrade your firmware..."
Let's see how feisty she is with her pulse reduced by 35%!
You have the right to remain sentient. If you give up the right to remain sentient, you will be elected to public office
He should have just stuck a USB stick up his ass.
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Exactly..
Look I cut open a cat and inserted a wifi router... CATS CAN CONNECT TO WIFI!!!!
Can I be a scientist? It seems I meet the qualifications.
Do not look at laser with remaining good eye.
And for his next trick, Dr Mark Gasson will insert an Atari 2600 controller into his anus, and proceed to control a Windows PC's mouse cursor with it. This is the first time a human has ever taken over control of a computer with the twitching of their rectal wall, and demonstrates the need for anal computer security.
All hail scientific achievement.
Prior art, I do this all the time.
"Scientist" is retard. Loosing his funding would be the best thing that could happen to him.
One would think if his funding were loosed, he'd be quite happy.
"Dear Research Councils, I am very happy to be acquainted with you, and as a humble scientist, wish to loose my funding to the cash sum of 7 HUNDRED THOUSAND dollars..." Sorry, not sure where I'm going with this.
But did you follow scientific method?
Clearly this gentleman is much more learned and qualified than you, so is infinitely more suitable to have large storage devices anally inserted.
Now, where did I put my 30MB "full height" 5.25" drive...
...
Was this your fifth cat, or was it Cat 6?
When our name is on the back of your car, we're behind you all the way!
Tie it to a paper plane?
Are you mad?
That would mean the virus is airborne!
Now, where did I put my 30MB "full height" 5.25" drive...
You're "sitting" on it...
Blue Face of Death.
Finally had enough. Come see us over at https://soylentnews.org/
Well, at least he didn't put it on a USB drive and shove it up as anus. It would have been the exact same principal, but would have seemed less scientific.
and then i proved Man can core dump.
Idiot.
Look I cut open a cat and inserted a wifi router... CATS CAN CONNECT TO WIFI!!!! Can I be a scientist? It seems I meet the qualifications.
Hell, with that sort of ingenuity, you should be able to get tenure.