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BP Says "Top Kill" Operation Has Failed
MrShaggy sends a quote from a CBC story: "BP has scuttled the 'top kill' procedure of shooting heavy drilling mud into its blown-out oil well in the Gulf of Mexico after it failed to plug the leak. BP chief operating officer Doug Suttles told reporters on Saturday that over the last three days, the company has pumped more than 30,000 barrels of mud and other materials down the well but has not been able to stop the flow. 'These repeated pumping[s], we don't believe will likely achieve success, so at this point it's time to move to the next option,' Suttles said."
let's try Bottom Seduction.
I believe the proper tag for this is 'now what'
Lets try the same thing again, except with BP senior execs
Doug Suttles later stated that BP is hard at work to come up with even cooler names for their next failed attempts to stop the oil leak. When questioned about their competence to do the job, he was quoted saying "we're stuck between overkill and final death."
'Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun.' - Mao Tse-tung
Hmm. The problem here is you are asking Brits to fix a leaking pipe. Queue lots of sucking of teeth, scratching of heads and HUGE estimates. There is probably a guy there right now, using the undersea robot to tap the pipe and go, "well your problem, mate, is its all your own fault see, no offence, I've got a bit of twig I broke off a tree in my van. I'll stick that in the hole and wiggle it around while I think of something more plausible but it will cost you..." Call in the Poles. They have great plumbers: quick, efficient, well qualified. They'll have it fixed in a jiffy and clean up the mess afterwards.
Obligatory link: http://twitter.com/BPGlobalPR
well you can sell the Americans anything if you give it macho BS military stylee language. They get all excited if you use words like "kill". Throw in a cowboy metaphor and you're away. Expect the next solution to be something like "predator total destruction high plains stealth option" or something similar ;-)
It's amazing that BP can drill for oil with no provable solution to a catastrophic failure. It's like operating on a patient and going 'Trust me, I'm a doctor'.
So, BP is the Dr. Zoidberg of oil exploration?
Thought thinks itself.
Yeah the whole reason this is screwed up is because of foreigners. Let's get a environmentally friendly company like ExxonMobil to drill for our underwater oil. Their record is impeccable.
DEC AlphaServer 3000s. They make great boat anchors.
http://michaelsmith.id.au
Maybe those russians should take a second look at it...
Yes maybe they could launch the operation from Cuba. Its quite close you know.
http://michaelsmith.id.au
NiMH batteries? Nah, feeding the rats is too much of a hassle.
BP will also be responsible for the Great Garbage Avalanche of 2505.
Wait, I heard about this. It's called Reaganomics. But maybe the kids have a new name for it these days, what do I know?
LOL. The mere mention of Reagan is the equivalent of viagra for Conservatives.
Really. It was just a joke! Guys, OK? Guys? Guys! Hey. Hey! HEY! Whaddya doing with that missile? GUYS!!!!
Please do not read this sig. Thank you.
Nuking an Escalade factory would be better in the long term.
Thats it! Someone needs to invent a car that runs on apples!
BP cannot use this method themselves. It requires Obama to step in and take some responsibility.
Malia: "Daddy, did you plug the hole yet?" ...Michelle! Where's My Super Suit?!"
Obama: "After I'm done shaving, I'll put on my super-suit and get right on it.
... was supposed to be a 'junk shot' where they jamb the BOP with plastic and rubber to keep the mud from squirting out. So when is BP going to whip out its junk and shove it in the hole?
Have gnu, will travel.