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Doctor Slams Hospital's "Please" Policy

Administrators at England's Worthing Hospital are insisting that doctors say the magic word when writing orders for blood tests on weekends. If a doctor refuses to write "please" on the order, the test will be refused. From the article: "However, a doctor at the hospital said on condition of anonymity that he sees the policy as a money-saving measure that could prove dangerous for patients. 'I was shocked to come in on Sunday and find none of my bloods had been done from the night before because I'd not written "please,"' the doctor said. 'I had no results to guide treatment of patients. Myself and a senior nurse had to take the bloods ourselves, which added hours to our 12-hour shifts. This system puts patients' lives at risk. Doctors are wasting time doing the job of the technicians.'"

19 of 572 comments (clear)

  1. Easy solution by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Write, "Please stop sucking cock and do these blood tests, bitch!" :-) That includes the word please!

    1. Re:Easy solution by Rusty+KB · · Score: 3, Funny

      Stop!? WHY?!?!

  2. Re:Just wanna say by Farmer+Tim · · Score: 5, Funny

    Thanks for that.

    --
    Blank until /. makes another boneheaded UI decision.
  3. Re:Fire them by Cryacin · · Score: 3, Funny

    Or for opening a door for a lady. Depending on which day it is. Remember kids, odds open, evens don't!

    --
    Science advances one funeral at a time- Max Planck
  4. Next one by kikito · · Score: 4, Funny

    Planes will not be allowed to move until the pilots say "Engage".

  5. Rubber stamp by Itninja · · Score: 5, Funny

    They should just get self-inking rubber stamps that say 'Please'.

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    I judt got a nre Kinesis keybiartf so please excusr ant egregiou typos.
  6. Re:Liability Issues? by Lawbeefaroni · · Score: 4, Funny

    If a patient refuses to write "please" as they die, the death will be refused.

    In extreme cases, the Lazarus Engine will be employed.

    How could there be any liability issues?

    --
    "When it rains, it pours." --Morton's Salt
  7. Re:I don't know how things work in the UK by Rusty+KB · · Score: 2, Funny

    I dunno, I'm anxious to come and visit the US as soon as humanly possible. From this side of the pond it looks all it would take is pretty much anything you can scream loud enough about and there would be millions of dollars in lawsuits. I can't wait to visit your great country. My lungs are big, my throat is strong, and I can scream like a cicada. I'm gonna be rich!

  8. Re:Fire them by Z34107 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or for opening a door for a lady. Depending on which day it is

    Very true. I err on the side of caution when it comes to holding the door open for people, but some manage to be offended by such a gesture.

    I held the door to my dorm for some chick late one night. After hours the doors require you to swipe your student ID to get in. It's a pain, so decent folk don't let the door swing shut after getting the reader to take their ID.

    She yelled something about "I can get it myself!" but she was kind of drunk, so I couldn't really understand her. She was angry, though, so I shut the door, and it locked.

    Turns out she forgot her ID. I have no idea how long she was standing outside. I think there's a moral in there somewhere.

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    DATABASE WOW WOW
  9. Re:Fire them by plover · · Score: 4, Funny

    Yes, the administrators are requiring it, but likely at the behest of the technicians. And the techs are enforcing it by not performing unless the order says "please". Kind of makes a mockery of the term "order" there, too.

    I imagine this is going on today.

    Original order: "Draw Mr. Smith's blood."
    Technician: "Denied, you didn't write the magic word."
    Revised order: "Draw Mr. Smith's blood by 9:00, and if you ever question my orders again I'll have your arse sacked."
    Technician: "Those are magic words. Here's your lab results."

    --
    John
  10. Re:Would it kill you to be civil? by Hognoxious · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'd fire someone for using a word like "abusiveness". No, better idea, I'd fire at him.

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  11. Solutions by DynaSoar · · Score: 4, Funny

    1. Instead, write "This is an order, not a request."

    2. Put "Please tell me where you're going to be working next week if these are not done."

    3. Write "One of these id for a relative of yours, I believe."

    4. Approach both techs and admin and ask them, if they had gotten hurt on the grounds and were taken to their ER, would they expect to be treated in this way. Would they expect to not receive treatment after they came to Research.

    5. Circulate a memo stating that very soon all employees would be required to say please when asking for their salary check. ANd if it's not sincere or strong enough, they don't get paid. The eception is administration. They have to beg for theirs

    --
    "I may be synthetic, but I'm not stupid." -- Bishop 341-B
  12. Re:The administrators need to get a clue by MadKeithV · · Score: 2, Funny

    He apologises for the inconvenience, though.

  13. Re:Just wanna say by laughingcoyote · · Score: 2, Funny

    If I asked you to do a favor, like spelling "your" properly since this is not a teenage SMS message, would it help if I said please?

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    To fight the war on terror, stop being afraid.
  14. Re:Just wanna say by u17 · · Score: 4, Funny

    No, but it would help if you said "plz".

  15. Writing... by Silly+Man · · Score: 2, Funny

    Must say 'please'...come on.

    Just require that they write legibly!

  16. Re:Story is from The Sun by MiniMike · · Score: 4, Funny

    The editors must have been told to 'check their sources before posting', not to 'Please check their sources before posting'.

  17. Requirements documents by billy8988 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Thank you /. for the story, I found another reason to ignore items in the requirements documents.
    Until they incorporate "please" in the RUP, I will be safe.

  18. Re:Story is from The Sun by billcopc · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Most balanced" in the news industry is like "least retarded" in the special olympics. It's all relative...

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    -Billco, Fnarg.com