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Amazon Seeks 1-Nod Ordering Patent
theodp writes "Amazon.com is famous for its patented 1-Click ordering system. But what about 1-Nod ordering? Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is seeking a patent on a system that would let people make purchases with a nod, a smile, or even a raise of the eyebrow. Bezos' invention — 'Movement Recognition as Input Mechanism' — envisions a computing device that could interpret certain facial expressions and enhance or potentially replace conventional input devices such as keypads and touch screens."
I'd like to see that... Now where is that patent application form?
Meus subcriptio est nocens Latin quoniam bardus populus reputo is sanus callidus
I want to buy when I touch my balls.
And if I have an erection I want to buy with fastest shipping method.
SOLD!
Thanks to file sharing, I purchase more CDs
Thanks to the RIAA, I buy them used...
. . . was bothering me the other night "with a nod, a smile or even a raise of the eyebrow." And his inquiries if my wife was interested in "candid photography."
Was he infringing on Amazon's patent?"
Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
I want to bet this system will be so sensitive it will lead to a lot of 'purchases', which will be defended in court with reasoning along the lines of: "our patented method can even detect the body language of subconscious wants and needs with over 99% accuracy, which is a higher success rate than our patented 'one click buy' button which has a slightly higher error rate because of accidental clicks."
>>> FAST FORWARD >>>
Year 2042 history books describing the rise of the Amazon mega-conglomerate identify this patent as the most important one in Amazon's history:
This of course would lead to the infamous landmark lawsuit of Amazon VS Stephen Hawking who had an Amazon pop-up on his wheelchair-computer and accidentally ordered everything on Amazon.com by staring blankly at the screen...
The argument of SWH's lawyers that he could not possibly operate a Segway for lack of motor control and thus had no use for it - and did not want to order it - was refuted by the Amazon legal team because, according to them, "the lack of motor control gave him the strong subconscious urge to walk an do all the things a walking man can do, and thus order a Segway".
After losing this exhausting case Stephen commented: "One cannot really argue with a mathematical theorem, but it is clear that intelligence has no long-term survival value.".
This legal tactic that set a precedent causing a new advertising phenomenon called 'drive by shopping'. Every pop-up ad from Amazon now has a mandatory purchase when you look at it, because they can prove 'without a doubt' you *want* to purchase the items they sell using their unique patented method...
Introducing Opera Face Gestures
We see by your expression that you really like this Swedish made penis enlarger. One has been ordered in your name. Additionally, we have posted a "like" on your Facebook page as well as posting a Twitpic on your twitter account. Please smile again if you would like to cancel this operation.
Remember, You are unique...just like everyone else.
You are sipping a delicious coffee, sitting outside your favorite cafe. "Man," you say to yourself, "who would buy a set of bleachers on Amazon? $10,000! Hah!"
Presently, your friend Bob comes walking down the street. "Hey Bob!" you say, waving and nodding. Your browser starts loading a new page. "Purchase confirmed." DOH!!
i always wondered why amazon didn't patent a 2-click and 3-click ordering system to really stick it to barnes and noble
In other news... Michael J. Fox has declared bankruptcy.
You could, expect I just got patent for "method of mounting a class action lawsuit against the Patent Office"
Beware of the Leopard.