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HP and Yahoo To Spam Your Printer

Posted by samzenpus on from the this-expense-report-brought-to-you-by... dept.

An anonymous reader writes "As many suspected when HP announced its web-connected printer, it didn't take long for the company to announce it will send 'targeted' advertisements to your new printer. So you'll get spammed, and you'll pay for the ink to print it. On the bright side, the FCC forbids unsolicited fax ads, so this will probably get HP on a collision course with the Feds."

14 of 397 comments (clear)

  1. The first planned spam... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...is a coupon for ink.

    1. Re:The first planned spam... by rhook · · Score: 4, Funny

      Is that the one with the paperless restroom stalls? Guess that's what the iPad is good for.

    2. Re:The first planned spam... by BlackHawk-666 · · Score: 4, Funny

      You insensitive clod! I use my printer to get hard copy of pr0n before I fap. It cuts down on the amount of screen wipes I go through in a month.

      --
      All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
    3. Re:The first planned spam... by bertoelcon · · Score: 5, Funny

      I've still got dickloads of toner

      That doesn't sound like very much.

      --
      Anything can be found funny, from a certain point of view.
    4. Re:The first planned spam... by Angst+Badger · · Score: 4, Funny

      The first planned spam is a coupon for ink.

      And not just any coupon for ink. It'll be an 8x10 solid black rectangle -- overprinted with cyan, magenta, and yellow, of course -- with a tiny paragraph in white letters praising the deep, rich blacks the printer is capable of producing. To get to the actual coupon, which will be on the second page, you'll have to buy fresh ink cartridges so the document can finish printing. Naturally, the coupon will also be small and composed of white text on another 8x10 overprinted black rectangle, along with a second promotional message extolling the printer's ability to reliably churn out image after image.

      If anyone from the HP marketing department is reading this, I'm available for any openings you might have. Just give me the address of your web-accessible printer, and I'll send you my resume. In eight inch high Helvetica UltraBlack, one letter per page. As a token of my sincerity. You'd better include a fax number, too, just in case you run out of ink.

      --
      Proud member of the Weirdo-American community.
    5. Re:The first planned spam... by FailedTheTuringTest · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, but you can usually extend it if you shake the cartridge.

    6. Re:The first planned spam... by AmonTheMetalhead · · Score: 5, Funny

      there is not a single thing that REQUIRES paper in todays age.

      But i don't know how the use the shells! How am i going to take a crap now?

  2. Re:Dont Know by 98+Rezz · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, faxes come through a series of wires. These ads come through a series of tubes. Completely different!

  3. Tray 3? by Xacid · · Score: 4, Funny

    You think if they started advertising for penis enlargement that they'd start going for my 11x17 tray just to prove a point/overcompensate?

  4. Re:Spammers will LOVE this by BrokenHalo · · Score: 2, Funny

    Mysterious liquids?

    I don't think this is what you have in mind, but I am reminded of an occasion on a British Snail train in the early '80s, when a hung-over colleague vomited noisily and copiously into a stockbroker's briefcase. Way to make yourself popular... :-)

  5. There are some things you need paper for... by Roger+W+Moore · · Score: 4, Funny

    there is not a single thing that REQUIRES paper in todays age.

    A paper aeroplane? Try that with your laptop you'll have to get a new one.

  6. Re:So let me get this straight .... by krischik · · Score: 3, Funny

    and put the little paper wasting fucker through the wall.

    In my house you won't put a printer to any wall. Most are made of real bricks. And even the few light walls are made plywood tougher then a printer casing.

  7. Re:Spammers will LOVE this by Stooshie · · Score: 4, Funny

    Don't worry, I think he meant printer ink!

    --
    America, Home of the Brave. ... .and the Squaw.
  8. Re:Dont Know by dyingtolive · · Score: 3, Funny

    By Accepting this License Agreement (hereafter referred to as "The Hosejob"), you hereby tell us to print out that add and thereby set up your printer to do such. HP (hereafter referred to as "Corporate Oppressor") is not and will not be consider to be infringing on your rights to your property because you no longer have rights, having willfully and in sound mind signed them over to us. If you disagree with any portion of this EULA, feel free to return this product to your retailer, where they've been instructed not to accept the return due to the fact that the software provided with this printer has had the seal broken on it.

    Or, you know, you actually pay thousands of dollars minimum to fight it in court, all the while HP is bleeding you dry through court costs and still continuing to spam your printer.

    --
    Support the EFF and Creative Commons. The war is coming, and they're supporting you...