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Microwave Pain Ray Keeps Frost From Killing Crops

Posted by kdawson on from the active-frost-denial dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Philip K. Dick's novella Project Plowshare was set in a world where deadly new weapons are 'plowshared' into consumer products. A few years after that book was set, defense giant Raytheon is spinning its raygun-like Active Denial System from a weapon into an agricultural tool to prevent frost from damaging citrus and grape crops."

11 of 278 comments (clear)

  1. Okay... by kurokame · · Score: 4, Funny

    So now they're going to microwave my food before it's even done growing? That's...nice...

  2. Popcorn by ByteSlicer · · Score: 5, Funny

    Imagine the fun we could have with one of these on a corn field.

    1. Re:Popcorn by SpzToid · · Score: 4, Funny

      Does corn grow well on hills(?) because I, for one, volunteer for summer popcorn 'snow'boarding patrol.

      --
      You can't be ahead of the curve, if you're stuck in a loop.
  3. New slogans for new applications by AliasMarlowe · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Pain that's too cheap to meter!"
    Some such rubbish was spouted about civilian application of nuclear technology (which also started as a weapon).

    Or more realistically, how about private & city lands covered in helpful signs like:
    "Keep off the grass. Violators may experience discomfort or agony!"
    "Keep out. Or else."

    --
    Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
  4. Pirate Defense System, perhaps . . . ? by PolygamousRanchKid+ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe this "Active Denial System" could be deployed on ships to ward off Somalian pirates? I mean, deploy a series of these around the perimeter of the deck of the ship, so the crew doesn't actually need to aim them, just flip a switch. This would create a "ring of pain" around the ship. The crew can be holed up in their safe room.

    First Mate: "Captain! There's pirates off the starboard bow!"

    Captain: "All hands to the safe room!"

    In the safe room . . .

    Captain: "Now let me read the instructions. Set power to 1000 W. Cook until pirates have fled. Cooking times will very depending on how tough or tender the pirates are.

    Meanwhile, back at the pirate cove . . .

    Pirate #1: "How was your pirating today?"

    Pirate #2: "Terrible, I am like totally fried . . . "

    Unfunny Comedian: "Thank you! Tip the veal, try the waitress . . ."

    --
    Schroedinger's Brexit: The UK is both in and out of the EU at the same time!
    1. Re:Pirate Defense System, perhaps . . . ? by Hognoxious · · Score: 4, Funny

      Pirates (before device is switched on): Arrrrrrrr!

      Pirates (after device is switched on): ARGH!

      --
      Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  5. Re:why do people work for Raytheon? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Oh, you like it.

  6. Re:Because they aren't idealistic hippies? by zmollusc · · Score: 2, Funny

    Bah! The weapons developers are no better than those Jews whose government invaded poland.

    --
    They whose government reduces their essential liberties for temporary security, receive neither liberty nor security.
  7. Re:Arrest him already by Fnord666 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Who is this Frost guy and why do they need a pain ray to stop him from killing crops? Just arrest him already if he's damaging property. Sheesh...

    Apparently you don't know Jack.

    --
    'The tyrant will always find pretext for his tyranny.' - Aesop's Fables
  8. Re:why do people work for Raytheon? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Which one of the 270,000 results? How about the first, you idiot.

  9. Re:why do people work for Raytheon? by Imrik · · Score: 2, Funny

    And if you don't, we'll keep bringing it to you until you do.