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Microsoft's Health-y Patent Appetite

theodp writes "This week's USPTO patent application disclosures included a trifecta of scary health-related 'inventions' from Microsoft. For starters, Microsoft envisions seeing Kids' Personal Health Records Fed Into Video Games, where they can be used to 'regulate and/or prescribe an individual's behavior while playing electronic games.' Next up is Centralized Healthcare Data Management, which describes how employees' health habits can be 'monitored, tracked or otherwise discovered' so employers can 'incentivize a user for an act or penalize for an omission to act.' Finally, there's Wearing Health on Your Sleeve, which describes a sort of high-tech Scarlet Letter designed to tip off 'doctors, potential dates, etc.' about your unhealthy behavior by converting information — 'number of visits to the gym, workout activities, frequency of workouts, heart rate readings, blood pressure statistics, food consumption, vitamin intake, etc.' — into a visual form so that others can see the data 'on mechanisms such as a mood ring, watch, badge, on a website etc.'"

6 of 85 comments (clear)

  1. Bring it on, muggles! by hoggoth · · Score: 3, Funny

    > a sort of high-tech Scarlet Letter designed to tip off 'doctors, potential dates, etc.' about your unhealthy behavior by converting information -- 'number of visits to the gym, workout activities, frequency of workouts, heart rate readings, blood pressure statistics, food consumption, vitamin intake, etc.' -- into a visual form so that others can see the data 'on mechanisms such as a mood ring, watch, badge, on a website etc.'"

    Oh yeah! I say bring it on!
    While most people sweat it out in the gym and deny themselves delicious food, all of us geeks will be proudly displaying our hacked super-health in glaring neon across our bloated bellies.

    --
    - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  2. Implant by whizbang77045 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ahh, I see. The idea is to patent an implant that goes in our foreheads, with the number "666." on it. The same implant can be used as a credit card, etc.

    I don't think this idea can be patented. I think I remember reading about it in an old book, somewhere.

  3. I can see it now... by MoriT · · Score: 5, Funny

    The Blue Screen of Death becomes literal!

  4. Re:Do You Remember the new MS interface? by lemur3 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I heard that some people can turn off The Kinect.

  5. Would be nice to have achievements too by Yvan256 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Such as, oh I dunno, number of chairs thrown across the room.
     

  6. Re:Wearing Health On Your Sleeve by Superdarion · · Score: 2, Funny

    Wearing a Microsoft product to advertise your "health" (as defined by Microsoft) to others would indicate severe brain damage.

    So it works!