Building the Zero-Fatality Car

CWmike writes "In the future, new cars might include an appealing sticker: 'This car is rated for zero fatalities.' John Brandon reports that Volvo, for instance, has launched a program called Vision 2020, which states, 'By 2020, nobody shall be seriously injured or killed in a new Volvo.' It includes not just new protective measures in the car, but technology for communicating dangers to and from the car. Other car companies have similar, less formalized programs. As ambitious as it seems, Ed Kim, an analyst at automotive research firm AutoPacific, says the zero-fatality goal is achievable. In the next 10 years, there will be a confluence of safety technologies — such as road-sign recognition, pedestrian detection and autonomous car controls — that lead to safer cars, says Kim. Will your next car look something like this?"

Comments

What?

[neonmonk]

I need a car metaphor.

Re:What?

[TrisexualPuppy]

I need a car metaphor.

So, basically, imagine lots and lots of corporations as cars on a busy Interstate. On one hand, we have SCO which was a tanker truck filled with benzene and toxic sludge going to the nearest creak to offload, but before it got there, it had a catastrophic wreck and burned for a while. As a matter of fact, the sludge was so nasty that it has been burning for several years, and fire crews have not been able to extinguish it.

As for the zero-fatality car, let me put it this way. Since the Interstate (the world-wide work force) is still blocked with toxic sludge and fire (the recession and its causes), nothing is getting done, and Volvo isn't selling as well as it did. In order to appease shareholders temporarily and raise Volvo's stock for the next week or two, Volvo has decided to build a vehicle that not only can withstand any wreck, but since it is zero-fatality, you just can drive right through that fire and toxic sludge and be on your merry way to economic recovery.

Re:What?

[tverbeek]

Will you settle for a ship metaphor?

This is like rating a passenger vessel as "unsinkable".

I thought they already solved this problem

[Pojut]

Go go gadget Car-From-Demolition Man!

prior art

[TheSHAD0W]

They can use some of the same technology as was utilized on this motorcycle:

http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=21816

NOTICE!

[ae1294]

WARNING: You are exceeding the speed-limit by 5 mph, we will alert the authorities...

WARNING: Your car is overdue for it's monthly maintenance check and will not start after august 1.

WARNING: You took that corner too fast for current conditions, we have alerted the authorities.

WARNING: Your car has exceeded it's 5 year life span and has been terminated. Please contact your dealer for a great deal on a new one.

Re:There is no zero

[Lord Kano]

Untrue.

How many times have you had sex with a living female human being this week?

Thought so.

Re:In a Volvo?

[localman57]

Exactly. I got an '86 Cutlass Supreme with a V8, shoddy tires, worn out brakes, a missing front bumper, and a case of PBR in a cooler in the passenger seat. I'll take them odds vs. any Volvo in the world...

Solution Calculated

[Bob9113]

Car: Your ex-husband has a gun. He seems agitated.
Car: His blood pressure is rising, and his pupils are dilated.
Car: Considering prime directive of zero fatalities in a new Volvo...
Car: ...Solution calculated. Please exit the vehicle.

Re:Not good enough

[confused one]

Not possible. No matter how far and fast medical technology improves, someone will always be able to fuck up bad enough to cause a fatality, at least eliminating themselves.

Re:There is no zero

[Anonymous Coward]

0.75

and it was expensive

Re:In a Volvo?

[GuldKalle]

Maybe they plan to use ejector seats. If the car senses a dangerous situation, you are promply ejected from it to protect the reputation of Volvo.

Re:There is no zero

[thePowerOfGrayskull]

Untrue.

How many times have you had sex with a living female human being this week?

Thought so.

I find it curious that you felt it necessary to qualify that in three separate ways: "living", "female", and "human".

easy answers

[petes_PoV]

...a semi truck falls off of an overpass and lands on top of one? - car won't drive under bridges
...a semi truck going 200mph the other direction crosses the median? - car accelerates to 201MPH, in reverse
...a semi truck going 200mph on the other road runs a red light? - see above
...that logging truck in front of you loses its cargo? - car grows wings, flies over obstruction
...that banana truck in front of you loses its cargo, and sends you through the guardrail? - ejector seat, you're no longer in the car if you die
...you run out of gas while crossing the train tracks? - ejector seat again
...some idiot leaves their kids in one with windows up for "just a couple minutes" during the middle of summer? - warranty only applies to owner
...someone decides to carjack you? - car only comes with pink paintwork, no-one would want to steal that.

Re:Not good enough

[edumacator]

at least eliminating themselves.

A world in which only the idiots die...The idea has promise.

Re:Auto-car.

[Rude Turnip]

They're called taxis. You get in and use voice commands to tell it where to go. Or, hop on a bus and take a pre-determined route.