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Man Patents Self-Burying Coffin

disco_tracy writes "A California inventor has filed a patent for a coffin that screws into the ground vertically. The reason? It greatly reduces excavation labor and burial costs, decreases land use, and opens up more space for burials in unused areas of a cemetery. Writer Clark Boyd also lists 5 other unconventional burial options, including lye, ecopods, GPS devices that track bodies buried without headstones, cryogenics and — my favorite — getting buried in the sky."

8 of 159 comments (clear)

  1. Spinning in your grave. Hur hur. by ModernGeek · · Score: 5, Funny

    Spinning in your grave. Hur hur.

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    Sig: I stole this sig.
  2. mix the ash with concrete by circletimessquare · · Score: 4, Interesting

    make a structure OUT OF dead people, not over them. not necessarily mausoleums and cenotaphs, but houses for the living too, or town squares: you become, literally, part of the community you helped to build/ that you loved

    ok, it's a little creepy

    "dad, where's grandpa?"

    "in the third load bearing column by the kitchen"

    at the very least, it would be a good backstory for a horror movie, or ghostbusters iii

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    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  3. Appropriate by dangitman · · Score: 3, Funny

    There couldn't be a better audience for this product announcement than slashdot. This is perfect for all of us who will die alone in our basements, with nobody to attend the funeral. Just flick a switch and it's done.

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    ... and then they built the supercollider.
  4. My Favorite by b4upoo · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Why go to all that negative bother? A good old fashioned gator pit suits me. Not only is burial not even an issue but the hides from the happy, and well fed gators make lovely luggage. The rest of the gators harvested could be used as hog feed.

  5. Great... by ITBurnout · · Score: 3, Insightful

    Now maybe if the civilized human race were finally able to get past the rather strange tradition of putting their loved ones' preserved physical remains into (usually rather expensive) boxes in the ground, in order to last as long as possible, filling up acres and acres of land with these, increasing on a daily basis with every new death -- then that might be some REAL progress. At some point this whole "burying" thing needs to go. It is not an infinitely sustainable model to follow.

    1. Re:Great... by Rude+Turnip · · Score: 4, Insightful

      I have no problem telling someone their culture is wrong if it is wasteful and unsustainable. We're all the same species, created equal and therefore qualified to comment on one another.

  6. Obilg Simpsons by seven+of+five · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such do-it-yourself videos as "Dig Your Own Grave - and Save"

  7. not sure which is worse by Midnight's+Shadow · · Score: 4, Funny

    I can't help but be reminded of when my niece (who was 3) used my grandfather's homemade wooden urn as a stool so she could reach the sink to wash her hands. At least my grandfather was being useful.

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    "God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh. " -Voltaire