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Vodafone Backs Down In Row With Android Users
jhernik writes with this excerpt from eWEEK Europe: "Vodafone has backed down in the face of angry opposition from Google Android customers, who last week received a software update thinking it contained Android 2.2, but instead found it contained Vodafone's branded 360 service. The Vodafone 360 service was launched in October last year. Essentially, Vodafone 360 is a user interface that puts social networking on the front screen of the phone, and arranges the users' contacts so you can reach any person with a phone call, IM, text or other call — or send a location message to meet up. However it also installs irremovable Vodafone-branded apps and bookmarks, including links to dating sites."
It was the 24th of June. As Richard drove into the mall's parking lot, he snickered at all the idiots waiting in line for the iPhone 4.
"Silly lamers," he said as his moped soared across the parking lot, like a rebel. "You can't even replace its battery." He strutted past the hundreds of people, proudly wearing his Tux shirt. He didn't glance, but he was sure everybody was staring at him with unabashed envy. If only they could be as cool as he was.
He went went into the mall, which was unusually empty even for a Thursday morning, and went into the Sprint store.
The lone salesperson there was fiddling with her phone and didn't even notice Richard until he coughed aloud. She straightened up, shoved her phone into her pocket, and smiled.
"Hi," Richard said before she could utter a greeting, "I'd like an HTC EVO 4G, please."
"Sure!" she said as the two went through the whole ordering process. As they waited for the computer to bring up Richard's account information, he decided now would be the best time to flirt with the cute young girl.
"So, I saw that you had an HTC EVO 4G as well," he said, sure to enunciate the name. "Isn't it... tubular?" She giggled at his use of slang.
"Actually," she said as she reached into her pocket," it's an iPhone 4." She proudly displayed it to him.
"What!" Richard ejaculated. "But the line's so long!"
"I reordered it and actually got it in the mail yesterday." She beamed as she fiddled with it.
"But you work for Sprint."
"Yeah, but it's just a job. I'm not married to Sprint. Of course, if there were people actually in the mall, I'd probably get in trouble for taking this out out in the open."
"But, it doesn't have 4G."
"Yeah, but it's not like we have 4G in this city anyway. You wouldn't believe how many angry customers return when they realize that. One even threw the phone right at me once! Can you believe that?" She laughed as she told the anecdote.
"But, you can't replace its battery!" The salesperson, Shawna according to her name tag, began to look a little impatient.
"I don't care. It's not like I ever needed to replace my old iPhone's battery."
"But the OPENNESS! Google's openness!"
"Oh, look! It's done! So, why don't we get you set up with that Evo 4?"
"It's HTC EVO 4G!" Richard yelled as he grabbed her hair and slammed her face into the glass where other dusty Android phones lay. "Why don't you stop being a stupid bitch and get a real phone!"
"You asshole!" she said as she rubbed her forehead. "Get the fuck out of here before I call security!"
"They won't help you because I'm going to rape you now!" He said as he began to unzip his pants with one hand and reach for her breast with the other. She growled as she swatted his hand away and kicked him right in the nuts. He fell to his knees. He was shocked that his plan to rape a stupid moronic brainless iPhone user, which he had worked on for years, wasn't working as well as it was on paper.
"Security!" she shrieked. Two burly men with batons ran to the commotion and saw the young blonde woman with clenched fists stand over the waifish greasy nerd with the Tux shirt and OpenMoko.
At last, Richard had finally found a group of intelligent friends. As the four nerds got their asses pounded in the prison shower by men who had no interest in iPhones or Androids or Flash, the boys recounted stories of how the women they attempted to rape because they used iPhones and not Droids were totally stupid and brainless and clearly on Steve Jobs' cock. At least they did until they had cocks in their mouths, squirting in their asses, on their faces, down their throats.