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7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail

Posted by samzenpus on from the gasoline-and-head-shots dept.

Whether they spoil in the heat, freeze in the winter, or get taken out by a human-friendly venue of vultures, a zombie outbreak is unlikely to succeed. Here's 7 reasons why we should stop worrying about the shambling dead and start concentrating on a real threat: sparkly vampires.

5 of 320 comments (clear)

  1. Reason #0 by BSAtHome · · Score: 4, Insightful

    There are no zombies?

    1. Re:Reason #0 by lgw · · Score: 4, Insightful

      But there is a huge market for all things zombie, and it doesn't even seem to have peaked yet. Zombies are the new vampires, and to date none of them sparkle in the sun.

      Most of the zombie fiction is just a different approach to RPG-style problem solving, and has the same appeal. A zombie outbreak happens near you, and the zombies work this way. What do you do? What do you eat? How do you defend yourself? Do you find others, or avoid others? etc, etc. It's good fun.

      --
      Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
    2. Re:Reason #0 by hairyfeet · · Score: 4, Insightful

      But you are missing the fact that they had Churchill to lead them by example and to rally the troops, whereas in a zombie or other mass disease attack most likely the leaders would run for it like everyone else. We simply don't create leaders like Patton and Churchill anymore, instead we get politicians who will save their own ass first and foremost. Can you really picture Obama (or Palin or your choice of politician) standing there to rally folks with the risk of contagion like Churchill was willing to walk through bombed areas with the threat of further bombing looming?

      Then of course you have the religious aspect, which would REALLY bite us in the ass. If you remember Dawn of the Dead those that believed in the judgment actively helped the zombies believing that the walking monsters were really their dead relatives being risen by their God. In large cities this would create a quickly escalating situation, where just like in the movies believers would attempt to "care" for their dead relatives, getting infected themselves, and by doing so creating "nests" where whole buildings would become infected.

      In the end it would come down to whether or not we have any leaders that are willing to risk their own asses and make the hard choices on the spot. Sadly what we have now is a spoilt ruling class used to be coddled and treated like little kings that would probably abandon us at the first sign of danger to themselves. The days of leaders like Churchill that were willing to risk their lives for their people are long past I'm afraid.

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      ACs don't waste your time replying, your posts are never seen by me.
  2. #7. They Have Too Many Natural Predators by Ocyris · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Come on now. Everyone know if you eat zombie flesh you become a zombie. Before you know it we'll be up to our necks in zombie lion, zombie tiger and zombie bears. However, zombie birds will probably be the worst considering the distances they can cover.

  3. This doesn't seem very scientific... by pedantic+bore · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This person is claiming that zombie outbreaks will fail, but where is the evidence? Has there ever been a zombie outbreak that has actually failed for any of these reasons?

    It all seems like blind optimism to me.

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    Am I part of the core demographic for Swedish Fish?