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Opossums Overrun Brooklyn, Fail To Eliminate Rats

Posted by samzenpus on from the urban-opossum-blight dept.

__roo writes "In a bizarre case of life imitates the Simpsons, New York City officials introduced a population of opossums into Brooklyn parks and under the boardwalk at Coney Island, apparently convinced that the opossums would eat all of the rats in the borough and then conveniently die of starvation. Several years later, the opossums have not only failed to eliminate the rat epidemic from New York City, but they have thrived, turning into a sharp-toothed, foul-odored epidemic of their own."

11 of 343 comments (clear)

  1. The obvious solution by elrous0 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Based on my experience, automobiles seem to work wonders on these things. Clearly, we just need to bring in more automobiles to New York.

    --
    SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
    1. Re:The obvious solution by Locke2005 · · Score: 5, Funny

      The automobiles aren't really killing them. Those flattened possums are just playing dead; I see them get up and walk away all the time... or was that Wiley Coyote? I forget.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
  2. Hipsters by Sonny+Yatsen · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just tell the hipsters in Brooklyn that it's totally ironic to wear live Opossums on their heads. Kill two birds with one stone.

    --
    My postings are informational and does not constitute legal advice. Act on it at your risk.
    1. Re:Hipsters by Pojut · · Score: 5, Funny

      More like kill two sharp-toothed, foul-odored epidemics with one stone.

      --
      Living With a Nerd
  3. Obligatory Simpsons by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 5, Funny

    Just bring in a colony of ferocious lions to eat the possums. When the lions become a problem, bring in gorillas to fight the lions. Then in winter the cold will kill the gorillas. Problem solved!

  4. Remember the old lady by egandalf · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Did they learn nothing from the story of the old lady who swallowed a fly?

    Poor thing. I hear she died.

    --
    Those who have telepathy have no need to RTFA.
  5. Wild Animals Should Stay In the Wild by Bing+Tsher+E · · Score: 5, Insightful

    We had to deal with a bold, insane, possibly rabid raccoon on the front porch last week. Believe me, it's scary when the wild animals decide they're not afraid of you at all.

    1. Re:Wild Animals Should Stay In the Wild by vux984 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Yep, because discharging a firearm at night in an urban setting to kill rodents and small mamalls is an intelligent thing to do.

    2. Re:Wild Animals Should Stay In the Wild by Tuidjy · · Score: 5, Interesting

      One night I got a call from my wife - she met some beasty on the path from the complex's gate to the apartment's front door, and the stupid thing stood its ground, got on its two hind legs, and started waving its paws and hissing at her. Something had been clawing our cat, so I was feeling pretty murderous - I took my recurve, and two arrows and went to see what was what.

      It was a oversized raccoon, and it was really standing its ground - it could have ran in the bushes or through the pool's fence, but did not, even though we were on both sides of it. I was afraid I would miss it (I had never shot my bow at anything but targets) so I made my wife go back to the car, i.e. out of the line of fire. I'm glad I did, because the arrow went clean through the raccoon, bounced off the concrete path, and took out a finger worth of wood from a wall. I realize now it was a damn stupid thing to do, as I had really underestimated what my bow could do.

      Shooting a gun in the same situation seem even more irresponsible - the bullet may just go through the critter, and end up into one of your neighbors.

      In any case, we called animal control, and I got a sermon from the Sheriff deputy about firing the bow inside the apartment complex. She said that she could have brought me in front of a judge for it, but she let it slide.

      Two days later, the animal control people wanted to check both me and my wife for scratches - the raccoon turned out to have been rabid... I guess we were both very lucky that night, despite doing so many things wrong - she stood nearby when she should have gone back to the car, I came up on the raccoon and could have scared it into attacking her, and then I shot a 65 pound bow in the middle of a bunch of dry wall buildings.

      --
      No good deed goes unpunished...
  6. Re:possum is a food group here in alabama. by lexidation · · Score: 5, Insightful

    They just show their teeth and hiss? What the fuck would you do if someone trapped you in a garbage can and started poking sticks at you? You expect the little fucker to greet you?

  7. Re:Common sense... by Albertosaurus · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe I have the benefit of experience, having lived in the south and all, but WHO WOULD BE SO F#$%ING STUPID AS TO USE POSSUMS FOR PEST CONTROL?

    New Yorkers, apparently.