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In Case of Emergency, Please Remove Your Bra
An anonymous reader writes "Caught in a disaster with harmful airborne particles? You'd better hope you're wearing the Emergency Bra. Simply unsnap the bright red bra, separate the cups, and slip it over your head — one cup for you, and one for your friend. Dr. Elena Bodnar won an Ig Nobel Award for the invention last year, an annual tribute to scientific research that on the surface seems goofy but is often surprisingly practical. And now Bodnar has brought the eBra to the public; purchase one online for just $29.95."
I realize it's the generally accepted dogma around here that us nerds can't get laid. But, let me tell you something, getting a woman in bed is easy. I'm a bonafide nerd to the nth degree and I have a chick that fucks me everyday, blows me as much as I want, swallows everything and then when we're done, she leaves. And, no, I don't pay her. I met her, chatted her up, asked her what she was looking for in a relationship to which she simply replied, "I'm just looking for 'FWB' right now." Well, it just so happens, I'm looking for the same thing right about now. And with that, a beautiful relationship was born. Seriously, fuck that getting married shit. When's the last time your wife let you fuck her then when you were about to blow your wad, quickly pull out of her pussy and let go in her mouth? And this chick asks for that. She sucks my cock, then keeps working all of the little dribbles out so she can swallow that too. And once she starts cumming, she just keeps going and going and going. I mean, obviously, she's a nympho but, hey, I'm cool with that.
So, to sum it up, nerds, take heart. If you're young (I'm 33 so I'm not), and you haven't gotten laid yet, you will. There is, I guarantee you, a girl at your school right now that is eying you and you just don't know it. And she will fuck you. But, play it safe, okay?
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