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Methane Survey Reveals Mars Is Far From 'Dead'
astroengine writes "The first planet-wide studies of methane on Mars — incorporating billions of measurements made by NASA's Mars Global Surveyor spacecraft — shows gas concentrations peak in autumn and plummet in winter. Scientists have found significantly higher methane concentrations in the Tharsis, Elysium and Arabia Terrae regions. Tharsis and Elysium are home to Mars' most massive volcanoes and Arabia Terrae has large quantities of subterranean frozen water. This indicates the gas could be generated by geological or biological activity. 'It could be geology or biology, but it is not coming from another source. There is a seasonal pattern, so it could only be a local origin,' Sergio Fonti, with Italy's Universita del Salento, told Discovery News."
Martians label Earth "stupidest planet ever" for measuring their farts billions of times...
Someone call Mazlan Othman asap!
That post was bad, and you should feel bad!
For large sets, this will be our guide even unto death, for the LORD will work for each type of data it is applied to...
Today the Council of Elders confirmed the rumours that the sinister blue planet third from our star has been engaged in acts so bizarre, so perverted, so far beyond the pink, that the only response can be to prepare for war.
"PERVERSION!", thundered K'Breel, as he addressed the Council:
"The mechanized monsters on the surface of our fair world were not the only harbingers of filth from the Blue Planet. The stink of their own poisonous oxygenated atmosphere wasn't foul enough. Having three quarters of their world covered in liquid dihydrogen monoxide wasn't corrosive enough. The practice of diluting of solutions of ethanol and carbon dioxide with DHMO - and the subsequent use of the DHMO as an intoxicant - wasn't enough. Ever in pursuit of new perversions, we now have confirmation that their orbital robotic stations in orbit around our fair world were placed there to sniff our farts."
When it a junior exobiologist suggested that the lifeforms of the Blue Planet were merely interested in possible commonalities in biochemistry across different evolutionary histories and metabolic pathways, K'Breel had the exobiologist's gelsacs removed for fermentation - by methanogens, the way the Founders intended us to get drunk.
Of course the episodic bursts of methane came form the global surveyor that surveyed the planet: as every middle schooler knows, "whoever smelt it dealt it".
"I love his boyish charm, but I hate his childishness" - Leela