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ATMs That Dispense Gold Bars Coming To America

Posted by samzenpus on from the leprechaun-industries dept.

tetrahedrassface writes "As the US economic woes continue unabated, a German company is bringing gold-bearing ATMs to Mainstreet America. The machines accept credit cards, and will dispense 1 gram, 5 gram, 10 gram and 1 ounce units, as well as various gold coins. The company hopes to install 35 bullion machines in the United States this year, and will hopefully have several hundred up and running by next year. The machines will be decorated like giant gold ingots and be over two meters tall. Physical gold has both pros and cons, but from a safety standpoint would it be fine to have a couple of ounces in your pocket while walking around the mall? The giant, gold-dispensing ATMs will monitor the market conditions for gold every 10 minutes in order to reflect spot price changes as they occur." We already covered similar machines installed in travel hubs across Germany.

11 of 482 comments (clear)

  1. Already here by operagost · · Score: 5, Funny

    Meanwhile, Slashdot is bringing apostrophe abuse to America.

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    1. Re:Already here by ColdGrits · · Score: 4, Funny

      In a previous company, our Marketing Director was showing some potential marks, I mean "customers" round the labs.
      He came to some prototypes we were working on, and proudly showed off his Tech Skillz to the assembled masses by announcing that "Here's where we assemble our prototypes using printed PCB circuit boards".

      I kid you not :-(

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  2. Put them right outside the dungeon? by twoallbeefpatties · · Score: 4, Funny

    It would be nice to not have to haul that entire bag of 2,000 coins back to town. I might run into a random encounter before then...

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    Libertarians somehow believe that private businesses should be stronger than governments but weaker than individuals.
  3. Cue the crying by Pojut · · Score: 4, Funny

    I bet Glenn Beck is pissed about this.

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    Living With a Nerd
  4. If we buy one with the magic chocolate ticket by GungaDan · · Score: 5, Funny

    will we win a trip to Glenn Beck's magical crazy factory?

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  5. 35 bullion? by SharpFang · · Score: 3, Funny

    It's spelt billion.
    And 35 billion ATMs is rather much for a start-up, and more than current market demand...
    oh gawd, there will be more of these than McDonalds and Starbucks... ;)

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    1. Re:35 bullion? by bsDaemon · · Score: 4, Funny

      You just got woosh-served.

    2. Re:35 bullion? by goodmanj · · Score: 4, Funny

      I hear those 35 bullion ATMs will be repaired and maintained by 4 Brazilian technicians.

    3. Re:35 bullion? by krnpimpsta · · Score: 4, Funny

      You should learn what words mean before you correct people as it just makes you look like a total fool.

      You should learn what a joke looks like before you correct people as it just makes you look like a total fool.

      You should learn what a fool looks like before you correct people as it just makes you look like a total joke.

      You should joke with a fool look-a-like before you correct people as it just makes you joke like a fool.

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  6. Market penetration by Zouden · · Score: 5, Funny

    The company hopes to install 35 bullion machines in the United States this year

    To put that in perspective, that's over a hundred machines per person, or 3.3 machines per square foot of land. Talk about agressive expansion!

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    "A week in the lab saves an hour in the library"
  7. Re:Bouillon ATMs by hey · · Score: 3, Funny

    The demand for bouillon has cubed.