"Super Monkey" Security Force Used At Commonwealth Games

The New Delhi Municipal Council (NDMC) has increased the strength of its monkey security team for the Commonwelath Games. The large langur monkeys are used to scare away smaller, more troublesome primate species from sporting arenas and food stalls. "From tomorrow onwards we will increase the number of langurs from 28 to 38. The additional langurs will take care of the Games venues and other important areas," an NDMC official told the Press Trust of India news agency. Sounds like a good idea until the monkeys learn how to throw barrels.

Comments

In other news...

[Dr_Terminus]

New Dehli increases its security snake force to scare away smaller, more troublesome serpent species. Fifty new pythons have been added to the Serpent Sporting Stall Security Services (SSSSS).

Disappointment

[Sonny Yatsen]

Is anyone else disappointed when they read the article and realized that there aren't any "Super Monkeys", just langur monkeys (which are still cool, because they're still monkeys)? I was hoping for some sort of Monkey Super-Soldier project on the part of the New Delhi Municipal Council.

Re:Disappointment

[Anne_Nonymous]

Having been shit upon by a monkey in India, I'd like to point out that "regular", non-super, languid and/or Langur, monkeys are nothing to be trifled with.

Re:Disappointment

[feepness]

Quit your complaining. We got shit on by a monkey for eight years here in the US.

monkey uprising

[slshwtw]

The article ends suddenly with "In 2007, the deputy mayor of New Delhi died from a fall after being attacked by a group on the terrace of his home." I had to make the assumption (and then track down the article) that it meant "a group of monkeys".

I love how their solution to the monkeys is "to train bands of larger, more ferocious monkeys". WHATCOULDPOSSIBLYGOWRONG?

Re:monkey uprising

[krnpimpsta]

I love how their solution to the monkeys is "to train bands of larger, more ferocious monkeys". WHATCOULDPOSSIBLYGOWRONG?

Well, eventually they will escalate from stronger monkeys to gorillas. And that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.

Re:``Security?'' What?

[God'sDuck]

Could the monkey distinguish a human being who is authorized to be somewhere from one who is not?

More importantly, could a monkey insure that all of a human being's gels are in a quart-sized plastic bag?

Re:Why not just shoot them?

[CRCulver]

Because of their devotion to the monkey god Hanuman, Hindus are unwilling to wipe out the monkey population.It's similar to the continuing presence of cows on busy city streets.

Re:``Security?'' What?

[couchslug]

"If not, that monkey is not a security officer in any reasonable sense of the word."

The TSA uniform sure fooled me!