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Taco Bell Programming

theodp writes "Think outside the box? Nah, think outside the bun. Ted Dziuba argues there's a programming lesson to be learned from observing how Taco Bell manages to pull down $1.9 billion by mixing-and-matching roughly eight ingredients: 'The more I write code and design systems, the more I understand that many times, you can achieve the desired functionality simply with clever reconfigurations of the basic Unix tool set. After all, functionality is an asset, but code is a liability. This is the opposite of a trend of nonsense called DevOps, where system administrators start writing unit tests and other things to help the developers warm up to them — Taco Bell Programming is about developers knowing enough about Ops (and Unix in general) so that they don't overthink things, and arrive at simple, scalable solutions.'"

24 of 394 comments (clear)

  1. 8 keywords? by lalena · · Score: 1, Funny

    So if I limit myself to 8 keywords my code has less defects and is more maintainable?

    1. Re:8 keywords? by Nursie · · Score: 3, Funny

      You had 1s?

      Luxury! When I was a lad we had to program everything using only zeros!

    2. Re:8 keywords? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Noli strepere.

      Per tempus mei, "zero" non habemus. Numerorum Romanorum usi eramus.

  2. My order by Wingman+5 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can I get a server logging system, hold the email notifications. Can I get extra rotating log files with that?

  3. Re:Software is not food by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Compilers are like boyfriends, you miss a period and they go crazy on you."

  4. I limit myself to 2 bits by topham · · Score: 2, Funny

    I limit myself to two bits. A 0 and a 1.

    Why would I need 8?

    1. Re:I limit myself to 2 bits by The_mad_linguist · · Score: 2, Funny

      I limit myself to two ones, very carefully timed.

  5. Once again, The Onion shows us the way by sootman · · Score: 3, Funny

    From over a decade ago: Taco Bell's Five Ingredients Combined In Totally New Way

    I think of that every time Taco Bell adds a "new" item to their menu.

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  6. Re:which language is best? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The DevOps thing is yet another crock of shit on par with 'managing programmers is like herding cats' and web2.0

    I volunteer at a cat rescue. Herding cats is much easier than dealing with programmers.

  7. Reference ? by dargaud · · Score: 1, Funny

    So now Taco Bell is a reference for both cooking and programming ? I ate there exactly once and it tasted like sucking ass off a dead donkey. I pity the people who've been forced to eat there since a young age and now think this is 'food'. Yeah, flamebait, etc...

    --
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    1. Re:Reference ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      So now Taco Bell is a reference for both cooking and programming ? I ate there exactly once and it tasted like sucking ass off a dead donkey. I pity the people who've been forced to eat there since a young age and now think this is 'food'. Yeah, flamebait, etc...

      We should all be thankful we do not have your culinary experiences.

    2. Re:Reference ? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      I ate there exactly once and it tasted like sucking ass off a dead donkey.

      Err...So there is a qualitative difference between sucking ass of a live and a dead donkey - and you know this difference?!

    3. Re:Reference ? by couchslug · · Score: 2, Funny

      That post is worthless without pics!

      --
      "This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
    4. Re:Reference ? by msaavedra · · Score: 2, Funny

      Taco Bell ingredients are great for quickly passing through your pipeline

      That's why one of my friends calls the place Taco Bowel. It's much more descriptive than the commonly-heard Taco Hell.

      --
      "Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it."
      --Henry David Thoreau
  8. Jim Gaffigan's experience: by gblackwo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Mexican food's great, but it's essentially all the same ingredients, so there's a way you'd have to deal with all these stupid questions. "What is nachos?" "...Nachos? It's tortilla with cheese, meat, and vegetables." "Oh, well then what is a burrito?" "Tortilla with cheese, meat, and vegetables." "Well then what is a tostada?" "Tortilla with cheese, meat, and vegetables." "Well then what i-" "Look, it's all the same shit! Why don't you say a spanish word and I'll bring you something." - Jim Gaffigan

  9. 8? I thought it was 3 ... by Zero__Kelvin · · Score: 2, Funny
    I thought there were three basic ingredients:
    • Protons
    • Neutrons
    • Electrons
    --
    Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people! - John Lithgow as Dick Solomon on Third Rock From The Sun
  10. Re:Software is not food by T+Murphy · · Score: 3, Funny

    Had a friend confuse bulbs of garlic with cloves of garlic.

    My uncle made that mistake once. It resulted in everyone asking him for the recipe (true story).

  11. Re:Let me tell you a story by oldhack · · Score: 2, Funny

    You had it coming, smart ass.

    --
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  12. Re:8? I thought it was 3 ... by digitig · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, it's up, down, sideways. sex-appeal and peppermint.

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    Quidnam Latine loqui modo coepi?
  13. My code is Taco Bell food at its finest by rwwyatt · · Score: 3, Funny

    It leaves results in your shorts.

  14. Re:Let me tell you a story by 19thNervousBreakdown · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's like you've purposefully made an entire post full of weasel words, and even sentences! "Metaphorically if you try to bend them at all they shatter rather spectacularly, they are brittle." Well done, sir.

    --
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  15. Re:which language is best? by Steauengeglase · · Score: 2, Funny

    Meh, as long as you have a hunk of meat and a fishing pole, both tasks are the same.

  16. Re:which language is best? by meyekul · · Score: 5, Funny

    tail -n 100 /var/log/apache2/access_log | cut -f1 -d" " | sort | uniq
    ...
    I'm honestly curious how long it will take you to do it in C, with/without the DNS lookup. Post source if you don't mind.

    Not long at all...

    system("tail -n 100 /var/log/apache2/access_log | cut -f1 -d' ' | sort | uniq");

  17. Re:which language is best? by Schadrach · · Score: 2, Funny

    The problem being when the "piece of meat" in one case sues for sexual harassment. =p