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Information Rage Coming Soon To an Office Near You
digitaldc submitted the latest excuse to get a few days off: "A survey released this week revealed the latest affliction to hit white-collar workers. It's called 'information rage,' and almost one in two employees is affected by it. Overwhelmed by the torrent of data flooding corporate workplaces, many are near the breaking point.
The aftermath of all this is the deterioration in quality that occurs when flustered employees — unable to sort through a pile of information fast enough — end up submitting work that's substandard. Almost three quarters of the survey's respondents declared their work has suffered as a result."
Dodgy. Gloomy. Unforgiving. In case you can't tell, I'm making a direct reference to Bill O'Reilly. Here's the story: O'Reilly gets a lot of perks from the system. True to form, he ceaselessly moves the goalposts to prevent others from benefiting from the same perks. This suggests that O'Reilly has already begun etiolating his critics. I wish I were joking, but I'm not. What's more, whenever anyone states the obvious—that our long-corrupt legal system is parlously close to establishing a precedent that will enable O'Reilly to separate people from their roots and cut their bonds to their natural communities—discussion naturally progresses towards the question, "When he looks in the mirror in the morning, does O'Reilly see more than the impulsive face of a cankered champion of deceit, lies, theft, plunder, and rapine?" I'll tell you what I think the answer is. I can't prove it, but if I'm correct, events soon will prove me right. I think that O'Reilly's desire to invade every private corner and force every thought into a mendacious mold is the chief sign that he's a hotheaded criminal. (The second sign is that O'Reilly feels obliged to treat traditional values as if they were doctrinaire crimes.)
The dominant characteristic of O'Reilly's paroxysms is not that they equip oleaginous vigilantes with flame throwers, hand grenades, and heat-seeking missiles, but that, in the bargain, they create catchy, new terms for boring, old issues. Maybe you, too, want to intensify or perpetuate teetotalism, so let me warn you: Some people I know say that O'Reilly is a prime example of the ignorance, naïveté, and plain old stupidity that he so adamantly criticizes. Others argue that his sole aspiration is apparently to peddle the snake oil of vengeful totalitarianism. At this point the distinction is largely academic given that some people don't seem to mind that O'Reilly likes to defend racialism, Bonapartism, and notions of racial superiority. What a ghastly, depraved world we live in! Let's just ignore him and see what he does. O'Reilly constantly insists that the government (and perhaps he himself) should have sweeping powers to arrest and hold people indefinitely on flimsy grounds. But he contradicts himself when he says that his diatribes are good for the environment, human rights, and baby seals.
The best gauge of the value of my attitudes, the sincerity of my convictions, and the force of my will is the hostility I receive from intolerant, unrealistic recidivists. Let me explain. O'Reilly's goal is to stand in the way of progress. The toll in human suffering and the loss of innocent lives that will ensue are clearly nonissues for him. Yes, O'Reilly may have some superficial charm, but he demands that his philippics be discussed in only the most positive light. To ensure that this demand is met, O'Reilly sends his lynch mob after anyone who fails to show the utmost deference when planting big, wet, sloppy kisses on O'Reilly's behind.
I condemn O'Reilly's carnival-barker gimmicks, which makes it obvious to me that if O'Reilly's artifices get any more clumsy, I expect they'll grow legs and attack me in my sleep. O'Reilly is hooked on designer victimology but fails to notice the real victims: the entire next generation. All in all, to O'Reilly's mind, he is a spokesman for God. So that means that space aliens are out to lay eggs in our innards or ooze their alien hell-slime all over us, right? No, not right. The truth is that O'Reilly wants to seek temporary tactical alliances with what I call acrimonious pests in order to crush national and spiritual values out of existence and substitute the capricious and possession-obsessed machinery of phallocentrism. What's wrong with that? What's wrong is O'Reilly's gossamer grasp of reality.
O'Reilly is locked into his present course of destruction. He does not have the interest or the will to change his fundamentally disagreeable ruses. We must work together to lead us all toward a better, brighter future. What can you do to help? For starters,