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EPIC Files Lawsuit To Suspend Airport Body Scanner Use
nacturation writes "The Electronic Privacy Information Center filed a petition for review and motion for an emergency stay, urging the District of Columbia Court of Appeals to suspend the Transportation Security Administration's full body scanner program. EPIC said that the program is 'unlawful, invasive, and ineffective' (PDF). EPIC argued that the federal agency has violated the Administrative Procedures Act, the Privacy Act, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, and the Fourth Amendment. EPIC cited the invasive nature of the devices, the TSA's disregard of public opinion, and the impact on religious freedom."
This Friday night, come on down to Club Big Brother! We got a full body scanner, some disco balls, strobe effects, and some kickin' bass! The crowd will go wild when you step into the full nude scanner and it's shown on our 2 story high video wall! No cover for ladies and half-price drinks! Club Big Brother-because privacy violations are one big party!
Salon and the Atlantic report that you have to take off your belt when you go through these things. And that you have to raise your hands.
So my plan (which all slashdotters should copy) is to wear loose pants and go commando.
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The GRAMMAR BOT 9001 has determined you have confused the words "their" and "there". An infraction has been added to your permanent record and your mother has been notified.
,,,
I want to make a pair of pants where I can make the fly pop open automatically. Then I'll go commando so my wing-wang will flop out when they touch my crotch.
I can scream "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!" at that point.
"I haven't had them reach more than 6 inches above my knees."
Well, that might be fine for you, but I'm still outta luck. :-)
Personally I want to see a woman wear sweat pants through the checkpoint and wear fake silicone balls under them. I would absolutely love to see the look on the guards face when she runs into those.
Don't forget, there's always boats and space folding... err, wait, you don't know about that last one yet... boats... definitely still boats... and ultralights.
Good for a laugh, sure, but we all know that if they were actually charged along those lines, MSNBC would have Chris Hansen conducting entrapment operations at every pediatrician's office across the country.
For $deities sake please don't encourage him.
I am Slashdot. Are you Slashdot as well?
Don't forget, had there been a Texan with a pistol on each of those airplanes on 9/11, there would have been no terrorist attack.
Too bad that position is regarded as so extreme that most people won't get behind it. Personally I would support it in a New York minute.
Now we can cue up all the FUD about depressurization and 0.45" holes growing into man sized holes that suck everybody out of the plane, make pigs fly and turn cats and dogs into friends.....
I want peace on earth and goodwill toward man.
We are the United States Government! We don't do that sort of thing.
I'll whip my junk out for the security guards before I go through the scanner.
Eschew Obfuscation
"Surely they do wrong things, too?"
No.
"This post is an artistic work of fiction and falsehood. Only a fool would take anything posted here as fact."
I went through security wearing a kilt once. Never have I seen a TSA agent so loathe to touch someone. His boss had to force him to pat me down higher than my knees.
Kilt + come hither smile == security breach 9/10
I don't care what you say, all I need is my Wumpabet soup.
Everyone looked at me strange, and my friend loudly commented "Dude, you must have an embarrassingly small penis."
You know how to take care of a friend like that? You should have instantly replied, "At least I am not smuggling a key of heroin up my ass". Be really indignant for a second, but then instantly switch to shocked and terrified when you look back at the TSA agent. Then mouth, "I'm so sorry", to your friend.
Good chance he will be walking really funny onto the flight.