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Amazon Patents Bad Gift Protection
theodp writes "Thanks to the inventors at Amazon.com, you needn't fear Aunt Martha any longer. On Tuesday, Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos received a patent for a bad gift defense system that intercepts gifts you don't want and instead sends you something that you actually do want. For example, Amazon explains that its 'System and Method for Converting Gifts' would allow you to set up a rule like 'Convert all gifts from Aunt Mildred,' which would automatically convert any online gift orders from your well-meaning-but-tasteless Auntie into a gift certificate. Other examples of how the system might be used: You could convert bad gifts to something off your wish list; block specific products ('Not another XYZ comic strip calendar'); or ensure that any clothing gifts match your exact size ('Check clothes sizes first')."
Oh really?
It's just like fortune cookies.
Append "in bed" and you get a laugh.
Append "with a computer" and you get a software patent.
Ahh! But this is done by a computer. That changes everything!
Right, so she can order you the pattern from Amazon, and you can knit it yourself!
I've got a better idea. Every year, let's mutually agree on an amount, say $20. I'll mail you a check for $20, and you mail me a check for $20, then we can both go out and buy exactly what we want!
I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
Now if they can patent some defense against Aunt Milly visiting in the spring and being hurt that her crappy-ass gift isn't on prominent display in the middle of the living room. Perhaps they could intercept her airline ticket and send her to El Salvidor, instead...
I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?