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Man Forced To Eat Own Beard

Posted by samzenpus on from the with-a-side-of-burns dept.

They take lawnmower sales serious in Kentucky. Nobody knows this better than Harvey Westmoreland who was forced to eat his own beard at gunpoint after an argument about a lawnmower. "Troy offered to buy it from me for $250 dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it. He thought I was trying to cheat him. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, there were knives and guns and everything just went haywire. (Then) they cut my beard and forced me to eat it," he said.

16 comments

  1. Short beards FTW by bill_mcgonigle · · Score: 1

    Never considered this a benefit of keeping my Norelco set on '2'.

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    1. Re:Short beards FTW by incripshin · · Score: 1

      But that's not a beard, then. I usually have mine on 5, but it's gone well beyond 9 now. This is getting out of control. Some might say 'hairy'.

  2. What? by Monkeedude1212 · · Score: 3, Insightful

    This doesn't even make sense. I don't even...

    Troy offered to buy it from me for $250 dollars. I paid twenty bucks for it.

    So he has the opportunity to make a cool $230 - and somehow he ends up at gunpoint? What the what the what?

    1. Re:What? by Joce640k · · Score: 1

      Presumably he can't get a replacement for $250...

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      No sig today...
    2. Re:What? by clone53421 · · Score: 1

      I think it went more like this...

      (Prequel: Harv buys lawnmower – a great deal for only $20.)
      Troy: Hey, that’s a pretty nice lawnmower, you interested in selling it?
      Harv: Dunno. How much you willing to give me for it?
      Troy: Oh, how ’bout $250.
      Harv: Hell... in that case, it’s yours.
      (Troy leaves with his lawnmower. Camera pans, following Troy as he merrily pushes his lawnmower down the sidewalk, whistling a little ditty. Enter JimBob stage right.)
      JimBob: Aft’rnoon, Troy.
      Troy: Hey.
      JimBob: Say... that sure looks like my old lawnmower.
      (JimBob walks around it, puzzled expression on his face.)
      Troy: Your old mower? Why, what’d you do with it?
      JimBob: Oh, sold it to Harv for $20, I bought me a new John Dee—
      Troy: Why that no-good *#%&*%...

      I think you can take it from here.

      --
      Alexander Peter Kristopeit bought his basement from his mommy for one dollar.
    3. Re:What? by Technician · · Score: 1

      No, He wouldn't sell it for $20. Selling it at a profit would have been a rip off. That is what the dispute is over. He would not sell it at cost.

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      The truth shall set you free!
  3. Low Calorie by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Probably the lowest calorie item to pass his lips in quite a while!

  4. His loss was more permanent by Dthief · · Score: 1

    They cut his beard and forced him to eat it

    ......a permament loss, as his beard will never grow back

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  5. At furst ah wuz discusted by severoon · · Score: 1

    but then ah foun a big ole soasuj in there an ah et that wit sum cream corn ah foun in ere too. Dam ah jes wish it waren't at no gunpoint tho.

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  6. Violent Crime is Condoned in U.S. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Insightful

    The scariest thing about that story is the legal consequences of their actions:

    Hill and Holt pleaded guilty. It's expected they'll be fined and sentenced to supervised diversion.

    Clearly, in the U.S. violent crime is tolerated and condoned, but victimless crime (like crimes that involve "sex" and "drugs") often involve many years in a penitentiary.

    Ref: http://www.wlwt.com/r/25762204/detail.html

    1. Re:Violent Crime is Condoned in U.S. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I was totally ready for you to contrast this slap on the wrist to such heavily punished "victimless crimes" as downloading a song from itunes or something, but then you're defending rapists and child molestors, crackheads and pushers?

    2. Re:Violent Crime is Condoned in U.S. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Oh, get real. In Europe, even brutal murderers are often only incarcerated for 15 years or less and then have their fragile personalities and identities protected by the state so that they can "reintegrate" into society again. And if you look at the statistics, violent crime is rampant in Europe.

      The idea that the US is software on violent crime than Europe is laughable.

  7. The Headline by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Did anyone else read that as "Man Forced to Eat His Own Bread?"

    This is obviously more difficult, but still.

  8. Welcome to Kentucky! by Sponge+Bath · · Score: 1

    Home of the Creationism Museum and conflict resolution involving knives, guns, and eating hair.

  9. Missing info by hallux.sinister · · Score: 1

    The article doesn't mention that at some point during the sale, the seller said something like "If you can find a better deal on this mower, I'll eat my beard!"

  10. Grammar helps. by MokuMokuRyoushi · · Score: 1

    Keep word being "more". Though I understand that "permanent" is an absolute.

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