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Swedish Court Orders Detention of Wikileaks Founder Assange

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the this-will-never-end dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is likely to be detained for questioning over his alleged connection to a rape case. The Director of Prosecution, Marianne Ny, has requested the District Court of Stockholm to detain Assange, claiming that they have not been able to meet with him to accomplish the interrogations. 'I request the district court of Stockholm to detain Mr Assange in his absence, suspected of rape, sexual molestation and unlawful coercion,' Ny said in a statement."

13 of 298 comments (clear)

  1. [frost pisst] by Hognoxious · · Score: 4, Funny

    "I request the district court of Stockholm to detain Mr Assange in his absence, suspected of rape, sexual molestation and unlawful coercion," Ny said in a statement."

    Assange allegedly replied, "[citation needed]"

    --
    Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
  2. Re:I dunno man by delinear · · Score: 4, Funny

    [...] (as opposed to lawful coercion?)

    I think that's usually referred to as "dating".

  3. well obviously by roman_mir · · Score: 5, Funny

    Clearly Julian Assange has committed a crime of raping the US intelligence and military, which is punishable by every means possible. He needs to be taken care of, he is clearly a sexual deviant, coercing the innocent intelligence and military structures into an uncomfortable position with him in a room in Stockholm.

    --
    You can't handle the truth.
  4. Innocent by Rik+Sweeney · · Score: 3, Funny

    Personally I don't believe he did it, and this is just an elaborate set up by some twisted organisation to silence him.

    If only there was a website that could out the truth on this whole matter.

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    Summation 2
    1. Re:Innocent by seyyah · · Score: 2, Funny

      I believe it's an elaborate setup by assange himself so people will believe twisted organizations are after him.

      I believe the cops have organised it to make it look like Assange is trying to frame them. At least that's what Assange wants us to believe...

  5. Stockholm DA's daily planner by Drakkenmensch · · Score: 5, Funny

    10:00 - Arrest Assange for sexual assault

    10:05 - Release Assange

    11:15 - Arrest Assange for racketeering

    11:17 - Release Assange

    13:07- Arrest Assange for littering, release him then book him right back for excessive use of cusswords

    13:19 - Release Assange, change mind, grab him by the collar as he leaves the precinct

    14:03 - Have Kevin Spacey explain to me how Assange is really Keyzer Soze, let him go, then run after him after finding his whole story on Wikileaks is fabricated from fragments of my post-it board

  6. TSA by roman_mir · · Score: 1, Funny

    Well, looks like the US intelligence and military actually LIKED the action, but now, that the details came out, they are too embarrassed to admit to the moments of joy they have received there.

    Now they are desperately trying to replay the entire incident backwards, looking for the right positions and reenacting it for their own pleasure, but doing so through the TSA in the airports. You see, the entire TSA thing, with junk groping and the naked pictures, it's just a masqueraded way for the intelligence and the military structures to get the memories and experiences repeated over and over. Their top bras has a lot of air miles after all.

    --
    You can't handle the truth.
    1. Re:TSA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Their top bras has a lot of air miles after all.

      Top bras are the only ones I've ever seen. I'm willing to accept the possibility that such a thing as a bottom bra exists, but I will have to ask you to cite.

      Thank you.

  7. Re:Assange's got his own personal "issues" by tumutbound · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hey! he's Australian so that arsewipe thank you very much!

  8. Re:he's innocent by ThatMegathronDude · · Score: 3, Funny

    He's so innocent that he fooled the police with a false confession and led them to a fake body he constructed from pork skins and clown makeup.

  9. Re:Argghhh by shma · · Score: 3, Funny

    With the mixed signals Sweden is sending, he should be careful. They could say they want him tonight, but by the next morning they might change their mind.

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    I came here for a good argument
  10. Misread by jekewa · · Score: 2, Funny

    Heh. At first I read that as "Swedish Court Order _Detination_ of Wikileaks Founder..."

    Totally different meaning, that one.

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    End the FUD
  11. Re:Legal response by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    . One twin, A is the partner/spouse/... of person X. The other twin, B, now poses as A and gets X to have sex with them. X consents, thinking that they're having sex with A, their partner. In reality, though, it's B, and if X had been aware, they would not have had sex with B.

    I wish I was raped like that.