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Underwear Invention Protects Privacy At Airport
Thanks to Jeff Buske you don't have to be embarrassed while going through the full body scanners at the airport. Buske has invented radiation shielding underwear for the shy traveler. From the article: "Jeff Buske says his invention uses a powdered metal that protects people's privacy when undergoing medical or security screenings. Buske of Las Vegas, Nev.-Rocky Flats Gear says the underwear's inserts are thin and conform to the body's contours, making it difficult to hide anything beneath them. The mix of tungsten and other metals do not set off metal detectors."
When you obscure genitalia, only the outlaws will have genitalia.
Exactly what I thought. "We can see your junk, better feel around to make sure they're there."
Is 1563649 a prime number?
I don't know, the government has assured me that there is no risk of any of that stuff...
Why not do both?
I see you aren't carrying a bomb, and you might want to get this mass checked out by a doctor. This would probably make the scanning more popular, although it might cause people without insurance to act suspicious when flying to get a free scan.
I don't practice what I preach because I'm not the kind of person that I'm preaching to.
On the plus side, it feels like wearing nothing at all! Nothing at all! Nothing at all!
(Stupid sexy Flanders...)
They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance. - Terry Pratchett
A woman could use an 'underwear insert' in the shape of a humongous cock and balls. Question is, would that mean she is more or less likely to get groped? And would she be groped by a male agent or a female one?
A coworker went through the rapescan a couple months ago. Get this, though -- he was wearing a buttplug at the time and they didn't notice it. I think it was a metal one, too (he was caught by the metal detector first).
Do you even lift?
These aren't the 'roids you're looking for.
That's the questions for the future. ...
Hello sir, Rape or Radiation?
My wife and I will take radiation; but we are raising our child catholic so
Everyone's doing this wrong. the TSA will never stop their pat-downs while the public is afraid of being groped, and this anti-screening day supposedly set for tomorrow (sort of a carbon-based DDOS) isn't the solution either. You want to stop the intrusive behavior? Simple.
Grind on the screener's hands while moaning loudly and gyrating your hips. It may not change the official policy, but it will eventually make all the screeners quit.
Well, except maybe the pervy ones.
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
Hmm, why not combine the two. Not only will you get cleared through security at the airport but you'll also receive a free health screening. Just think of it... free colonoscopies, hysteroscopies, and breast exams. It'd be an incredible time saver to not have to schedule a separate examination. Heck it'd even help curb the worry about that at risk segment of the male population needing but not getting an annual mammo...
Two of my imaginary friends reproduced once
I won't go that far, but I've sent off for the free sample of Extenz, and I'm going to take that before the screening. I'm also thinking about wearing a kilt. I'm hoping they'll ask me if I know what they're going to do so I can say something along the lines of "I've been looking forward to it." Depending on how it goes, I might finish off with a quip like "What, no happy ending?"
Probability that I'll have the balls to go through with it: low
Is 1563649 a prime number?
I would paint some really big junk on my undies...
Haha, why not just read playboy before entering scanner.. that way picture should be clear and solid.
Hold on a second sir. Let me put on my priest robes...
Is there any level of government intrusion into your privacy that you would object to? Do you have a secret love for Austrian corporals? Do you find yourself admiring black uniforms and jackboots?
Socialism: a lie told by totalitarians and believed by fools.
No, it's a "freedom pat".
Do your balls hang low? Do they wobble to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot? Can you tie them in a bow?
Can you throw 'em over your shoulder like a Continental soldier? Ask a T.S.O.!
(No need to get testy, all TSOs are professionally-trained ball-handlers and kid-fiddlers. To professionalize, you must federalize!)
I've been wondering what would happen if someone appeared to be visibly enjoying the pat down. Maybe instead of a boycott we should all have a mass fake orgasm day
Sure they do.
They could quit.
But the don't.
So - for every child who is abused because he grows up in a world in which his "private parts may not be touched by anyone unless they're a stranger wearing a uniform and then it's OK" - they're morally culpable.
So do I. So when I opt out on Wednesday, I'm going to suggest that they quit. Not today, not tomorrow, maybe not even next week.
"Sir, this is demeaning to both of us. I can't stop it, but you can. The next time your boss tells you to fondle children, you say NO. I know you're just following policy, but as I'm sure you're aware, policies change. If you don't stop this here and now, you'll be doing full digital rectal exams by this time next year. First one of you that quits and goes public with his reasons becomes a national hero. Show us what it means to be an American. Walk away from this, and find work with an honest security company that actually keeps people safe rather than just fondles people's balls all day long."
And when the jack booted perv is done, pull a $20 bill out of your pocket, give it to him / her and say "You were magnificent! Thank you thank you!". If you think you can get away with it, give him / her a big sloppy full mouth kiss, too.
The day before travel, eat meals consisting of, beans, broccoli, eggs, protein power and buttermilk - this is guaranteed to produce copious amounts of gas, at least for me. - Consume what works best for you. When they grab your crotch let fly. As an added bouns don't shower for a couple of days and wear stinky sweaty workout clothes - the ones you took off at the gym and stuffed in your gym bag a few days ago. Too bad about the poor fuckers that sit next to you on a 5 hour flight though, if you're feeling nice bring fresh clothes and beano on the plane.
I still cannot find the droids I am looking for...
Mile deep club.
And state clearly that if the inspector touches your junk, you're going to send them a bill, just like all your other customers. Just because they're the TSA does not entitle them to a freebie.
Aah, change is good. -- Rafiki
Yeah, but it ain't easy. -- Simba
The goal of the Israelis is airport security. The goal of the TSA is increased pubic acceptance of fascism. You can see the difference.
Most appropriate. Typo. Ever.