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Students Banned From Bringing Pencils To School
mernilio writes "According to UPI: 'A Massachusetts school district superintendent said a memo banning sixth graders from carrying pencils was written without district approval. North Brookfield School District interim Superintendent Gordon Noseworthy said Wendy Scott, one of two sixth-grade teachers at North Brookfield Elementary School, did not get approval from administrators before sending the memo to all sixth-grade parents, the Worcester Telegram & Gazette reported Thursday. The memo said students would no longer be allowed to bring writing implements to school. It said pencils would be provided for students in class and any students caught with pencils or pens after Nov. 15 would face disciplinary action for having materials 'to build weapons.'"
The pen is mightier than the sword.
I really thought the UK would do something like this first, but you yanks just had to one up us on paranoid didn't you?
Wew!
Sure, then the district disciplines this teacher for excessive nuttery and everyone goes back to their day to day lives. Several weeks later, some kid stabs another kid with a pencil on the way to school and the victim ends up with a piece of graphite permanently lodged under his skin. Now you have someone with a PERMANENT DISFIGUREMENT because this teacher's sage warning wasn't heeded. That kid becomes a poster child for our schools' failure to keep our children safe, and before you know it we have the TSA moving in and strip-searching the kids to look for pencils before they can enter the school building. Meanwhile, the disciplined teacher goes on to a successful career as a security consultant working with the Department of Homeland Security to help prevent future attacks using graphite-based WMDs (Writing implements of Minor Disturbance). After that, it's only a matter of time before the Department of Education gets absorbed into the DHS.
All of this could have been avoided if we had just taken this warning seriously and immediately banned all sharp writing implements from schools. All pencils and pens should be replaced with nice blunt magic markers. For math classes or other times when frequent erasing is needed, they can use an Etch-a-Sketch (tm). This seems like a minor sacrifice to ensure the safety of our children.
I was able to completely dismantle a cot while still being young enough to actually sleep in it.
+1 IDisagreeSoHeMustBeATrollOrAnAstroturferOrAShill
What I'm curious about though, is why the teacher felt this memo was necessary in the first place; TFA doesn't mention this.
Isn't it obvious, they're worried about weapons. If they bring in pencils they have graphite. All they need to do is purify uranium and they can use this to moderate an atomic pile. Next thing they will have weapons-grade plutonium.
We used bent over paper clips and rubber bands to see how many we could get stuck in the ceiling... and other things.
Every time I start to have faith in humanity, I ruin it by driving to work between 7 and 8 am.
Comment/signature synergy bonus!
I dismantled my crib when I decided I wanted to upgrade. Brought the thing out in pieces to my poor, shocked, aghast mother.
We obviously just need TSA screeners at the entrance to every classroom and hallway performing Freedom Fondling to make sure no weapons get passed around.
-- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
Said just like someone who has never been shot with a sword.
Nerd rage is the funniest rage.
I initially read your post as "dismantle a cat"
until I read the "being young enough to actually sleep in it" did I realize I was in error.
Karnal
I initially read your post as "dismantle a cat"
until I read the "being young enough to actually sleep in it" did I realize I was in error.
Maybe it was a large cat and an ill-advised attempt to recreate the Tauntaun scene.
Yellowcake, also known as Twinkies.
...the future crusty old bastards are already drinking the Kool-Aid.
I did, twice.
He effected a bored affect.
All pencils and pens should be replaced with nice blunt magic markers.
Magic markers have the added benefit that when you write "Elbereth" on the floor under you, no-one can attack you. With their pencils.
Weapons of Maths Destruction
Dunno, when I was in school, I had at least one knife on me every single day for most of my school years. Plus lighters and a torch.
End result? Teachers came to me instead of walking down to the main teacher's lounge when they needed to cut anything or start the Buthane in Chemistry.
Now I am working. And I carry a Victorinox Swiss Tool while doing desk work.
So yah, ban all them weapons!!!111