Icicles Kill Record Numbers of Russians

Falling icicles have killed five and injured 150 people in St. Petersburg alone this winter. Governor Valentina Matviyenko has fired 11 officials over the record number of accidents and has offered some rather hi-tech solutions to the problem. She says, "Icicles should be removed with lasers or steam. If St. Petersburg experts throw up their hands and say that icicles should be removed using crowbars, then we will use crowbars."