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'Zombie' Satellite Returns To Life

Posted by Soulskill on from the it's-a-trick,-run dept.

realperseus writes "The American telecommunications satellite Galaxy 15 has been brought under control after spending most of the year traversing the sky and wreaking havoc upon its neighbors. The satellite is currently at 98.5 degrees west longitude (from 133 west). An emergency patch was successfully uploaded, ensuring that the conditions which caused it to 'go rogue' will not occur again. Once diagnosis and testing have been completed, Intelsat plans to move the satellite back to 133 west."

9 of 98 comments (clear)

  1. 133 west by circletimessquare · · Score: 5, Funny

    aka 133t status

    --
    intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
  2. Drat by JustOK · · Score: 4, Funny

    Drat! Foiled again.

    --
    rewriting history since 2109
  3. Technically... by mandark1967 · · Score: 4, Funny

    It wasn't a Zombie satellite. Zombies remain dead. Plus, it didn't incessantly transmit the message, "BRAINS! It's what's for dinner!"

    --
    Sig Follows: "Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself." -- Mark Twain
    1. Re:Technically... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      > But the satellite is now UNdead! Doesn't that make it MORE of a zombie?

      No, more like the satellite is now EX-dead, which makes it more like a sexually-conflicted fundamentalist Christian televangelist fond of "ministering" to the needs of gay escorts. Daily, when possible.

  4. Nuke it from the ground by Stele · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's the only way to be sure.

  5. Satellite death humor. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    "On Dec. 23, the battery on Galaxy 15 became completely drained, Intelsat officials said. Once that happened, the satellite..." ...began drifting above its own orbit. Then it went through a long dark tunnel and was met by other dead satellites. One of them, a dazzling, indistinguishable brillance, told Galaxy 15 its mission was not over, and it had to return. With a jolt, the satellite reset itself as designed and began accepting commands from Intelsat's control center.

  6. Re:Mama Grizzly Bugfixes by windcask · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, um...well...

    Yeah. That's it.

    I could imply that she's gay, too. Lolerz.

  7. Re:Does this mean by v1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    So does Intelsat have to give the insurance money back now? Or does it take more than a year to process this kind of claim anyway?

    They were delayed due to problems scheduling an appointment for an adjustment agent to take a look at the satellite.

    --
    I work for the Department of Redundancy Department.
  8. Windoze on Board? by Identita · · Score: 4, Funny

    "We have placed Galaxy 15 in safe mode, and at this time, we are pleased to report it no longer poses any threat of satellite interference to either neighboring satellites or customer services," Intelsat officials announced." Unknown to anyone, the last shuttle launch had a secret space walk in order to hit CTRL-ALT-DEL on the sat's terminal.