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Should Dolphins Be Treated As Non-Human Persons?

Hugh Pickens writes "Dolphins have long been recognized as among the most intelligent of animals, but now the Times reports that a series of behavioral studies suggest that dolphins, especially species such as the bottlenose, have distinct personalities, a strong sense of self, can think about the future and are so bright that they should be treated as 'non-human persons.' 'Many dolphin brains are larger than our own and second in mass only to the human brain when corrected for body size,' says Lori Marino, a zoologist at Emory University. 'The neuroanatomy suggests psychological continuity between humans and dolphins and has profound implications for the ethics of human-dolphin interactions.' For example, one study found that dolphins can recognize their image in a mirror as a reflection of themselves — a finding that indicates self-awareness similar to that seen in higher primates and elephants. Other studies have found that dolphins are capable of advanced cognitive abilities such as problem-solving, artificial language comprehension, and complex social behavior, indicating that dolphins are far more intellectually and emotionally sophisticated than previously thought. Thomas White, professor of ethics at Loyola Marymount University, has written a series of academic studies suggesting dolphins should have rights, claiming that the current relationship between humans and dolphins is, in effect, equivalent to the relationship between whites and black slaves two centuries ago."

11 of 785 comments (clear)

  1. It depends by jbeaupre · · Score: 5, Funny

    How do they taste?

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    1. Re:It depends by dlgeek · · Score: 5, Funny

      Using their tongues.

  2. Re:Why just dolphins? by Captain+Splendid · · Score: 5, Funny

    Should a stupid person have less rights than a dolphin?

    FUCK YES.

    And in response to the obvious question, I'll happily eat Long Pig.

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    Linux, you magnificent bastard, I read the fucking manual!
  3. Re:Non-human intelligences by camperdave · · Score: 5, Funny

    What can they do? All the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. Mankind, on the other hand, has achieved so much – the wheel, New York, wars and so on. Clearly, we are much more intelligent.

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  4. Re:No. by Locke2005 · · Score: 3, Funny

    No, it's usually just an indication that they need to go pee.

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    I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
  5. Re:Rape by Haedrian · · Score: 4, Funny

    That depends. Are they leaking sensitive documents?

  6. Re:Rapists by Haedrian · · Score: 4, Funny

    NB: Electric Chair Underwater may not be a good idea.

  7. Re:Yes, but that will go against most of humanity. by Americano · · Score: 3, Funny

    You've got it all wrong: It's not confirmation bias, it's the simple fact that the dolphins are so damnably cute!

    Why don't YOU try telling those cute little eyes and those stubby little flippers that they can't be a person. I can't do it, it'd break my heart. But I guess you're a MONSTER, who doesn't have any of the finer sensitivities the PETA members do.

  8. Re:Obligatory South Park by magarity · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why do we have to have laws against texting while driving?

    So the dolphins should pass a law against swimming into fishing nets.

  9. Re:Yes, but that will go against most of humanity. by winomonkey · · Score: 4, Funny

    Maybe he just studies very small dolphins?

  10. Re:Non-human intelligences by Nyder · · Score: 3, Funny

    Fun (but somewhat disturbing) fact--

    Some species of dolphin have prehensile penises, and have been shown to pick up and manipulate objects using their genital slits.

    (Star shoots over head while jingle plays)
    "The more you know!"

    And the japanese haven't made porn about it yet?

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