Nobel Prize Winner Says DNA Performs Quantum Teleportation

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Nobel Prize Winner Says DNA Performs Quantum Teleportation

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday January 12, 2011 @03:22PM from the giant-book-that's-hidden-inside-you dept.

HJED writes "TechWorld is reporting that the joint winner of the Nobel Prize for medicine in 2008, Luc Montagnier, is claiming that DNA can send 'electromagnetic imprints' of itself into distant cells and fluids which can then be used by enzymes to create copies of the original DNA. This would be equivalent to quantum teleportation. You can read the original paper here [PDF]."

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Oh, now I see! by Gizzmonic · 2011-01-12 15:32 · Score: 3, Funny

God sent his seed into Mary via Quantum Teleportation! That's how Jesus came to be! But don't give in to Quantum Temptation...or you'll end up in Hell!

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(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
1. Re:Oh, now I see! by Qzukk · 2011-01-12 15:35 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  or you'll end up in Hell!
  That's ok, I'll just tunnel back out.
  
  --
  If I have been able to see further than others, it is because I bought a pair of binoculars.
2. Re:Oh, now I see! by Merls+the+Sneaky · 2011-01-12 16:02 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  >
  ...Maybe. Either way there'll be cats.
  Undead cats, until you look at them at least.
3. Re:Oh, now I see! by Tablizer · 2011-01-12 16:47 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Hell has quantum cat-poo. You don't know if it's there until you step in it.
  
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  Table-ized A.I.
Get back to me when by mswhippingboy · 2011-01-12 15:42 · Score: 3, Funny

they figure out a way to connect my WiFi to my DNA so I can use my body to connect to the internet and stop paying these ridiculous 3G prices.

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Sometimes the light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of an oncoming train.
New excuse ... by ignavus · 2011-01-12 15:43 · Score: 5, Funny

"Honest! My DNA teleported into her. I never touched her. I swear it."

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I am anarch of all I survey.
1. Re:New excuse ... by Arthur+Grumbine · 2011-01-12 16:41 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  So... you mod the parent 4, funny, for making a tasteless joke about rape, that's not even funny, and you mod down the person that calls them out. Not cool, guys.
  Sounds like someone has some issues. Show us, on this doll, where the DNA teleported into you...
  
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  Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure everything I just said is completely wrong.
Re:umm by hoggoth · 2011-01-12 16:08 · Score: 5, Funny

It does raise my suspicions that he listed 'TimeCube' in his citations attached to the paper.

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- For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
Re:John Hagelin is right, the unified field is you by GigaplexNZ · 2011-01-12 16:18 · Score: 5, Funny

Seriously - this is a guy who claims that if enough people in a city do TM meditation, crime rates will fall
This could easily be true. The criminals are too busy meditating to be able to commit the crimes...
Re:John Hagelin is right, the unified field is you by c6gunner · 2011-01-12 16:21 · Score: 4, Funny

John Hagelin appeals to people who think What the Bleep Do We Know and The Secret were science documentaries.
Hey now. Scoff all you like, but The Secret helped me manifest a twelve inch pianist.
Re:umm by popeyethesailor · 2011-01-12 16:28 · Score: 5, Funny

Dude, you made me RTFA - that's unfair :/
Re:More like questionable caliber by ColdWetDog · 2011-01-12 16:48 · Score: 4, Funny

The paper is in Arxiv, and has not been peer-reviewed. They refer to Craig Venter as "G. Vinter." I won't hold my breath until these results are replicated by third parties.
The only way this is going to get replicated by third parties is after the party has been going on for a long, long time and aqueous dilutions of certain organic solvents have been extensively studied by all involved.

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Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
Well at least I can explain to my wife... by F34nor · 2011-01-12 16:50 · Score: 4, Funny

...how I got her best friend pregnant.
Re:umm by gilleain · 2011-01-12 21:03 · Score: 5, Funny

Audio frequencies? So perhaps someone in the lab is chanting "A...C...G..C..G...A..T" while the experiment is going on, and this induces DNA to form in the second tube! (j/k)