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34,000-Year-Old Organisms Found Buried Alive

Posted by Soulskill on from the ceti-alpha-five-not-involved dept.

cold fjord writes "A scientist has made a weird and wonderful find. 'It's a tale that has all the trappings of a cult 1960s sci-fi movie: Scientists bring back ancient salt crystals, dug up from deep below Death Valley for climate research. The sparkling crystals are carefully packed away until, years later, a young, unknown researcher takes a second look at the 34,000-year-old crystals and discovers, trapped inside, something strange. Something... alive.' The Geological Society of America's current issue of GSA Today has the academic paper."

14 of 150 comments (clear)

  1. *phew* by ArhcAngel · · Score: 1, Funny

    Anyone else read 34,000 year old Orgasms?

    --
    "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it." - K
    1. Re:*phew* by Locke2005 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, it's been about that long for me, too.

      --
      I've abandoned my search for truth; now I'm just looking for some useful delusions.
    2. Re:*phew* by mikael · · Score: 3, Funny

      "The first million years were the worst. The second million, they were the worst too. After that I went into a bit of a decline."

      --
      Vintage computer adverts: http://www.vintageadbrowser.com/computers-and-software-ads
  2. silicon life? by alphatel · · Score: 4, Funny

    It calls itself a horta!

    --
    When the foot seeks the place of the head, the line is crossed. Know your place. Keep your place. Be a shoe.
  3. Soon afterwards ... by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 4, Funny

    .. the young scientist was heard muttering ... "braaaaains"

    --
    Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
  4. Mebbe by JustOK · · Score: 4, Funny

    Mebbe they were put there for a reason! DEAR GOD!! YOU'VE LET THEM OUT!

    --
    rewriting history since 2109
  5. CNN reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    After their amazing rescue the bacteria were interviewed by Anderson Cooper. The bacteria expressed their thanks for being rescued from their 34,000 years of imprisonment in a salt tomb in Death Valley. It's a miracle all the bacteria survived for the full 34,000 years and the bacteria thanked God for keeping them alive and their rescue. When asked what they planned to do all replied, "We're going to Disneyland!" The bacteria are expected to put in an appearance on the new Oprah network next week and have been offered their own reality series.

    1. Re:CNN reports by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      First I laughed.

      Then, I appreciated the cultural satire with some envy of the other AC for doing it brilliantly.

      Then, I shook my head in disgust because of the truth of it.

      Then, I imagined one of the bacteria insisting on being referred to as "The Bacteria" (showing off his well defined flagella) and another one being "Bact-Wow" and yet another one (the fat one with too much makeup on its pili) being called "Pookie".

  6. Re:tl;dr: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    They weren't bacteria, it's a single complex organism. Also, the scientists are Swedish I think...

  7. 2012 by Mondorescue · · Score: 4, Funny

    Suddenly the 2012 presidential election looks more interesting.

    1. Re:2012 by ColdWetDog · · Score: 3, Funny

      What's Alaskan for redneck?

      Alaskan.

      --
      Faster! Faster! Faster would be better!
  8. As you left me... as you left her.... by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 4, Funny

    34,000 years ago a tiny little voice was heard screaming KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

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    "I like to lick butts!" by MobileTatsu-NJG (#32700246) (Score:5, Informative)

  9. Re:"young, unknown researcher"? by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 3, Funny

    Because only someone young (and foolish) would release something that's been entombed alive for 34,000 years.

    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill
  10. Re:tl;dr: by $RANDOMLUSER · · Score: 3, Funny

    St. Louis, Missouri?

    --
    No folly is more costly than the folly of intolerant idealism. - Winston Churchill