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Extinct Mammoth, Coming To a Zoo Near You

Techmeology writes "Professor Akira Iritani of Kyoto University plans to use recent developments in cloning technology to give life to the currently extinct woolly mammoth. Although earlier efforts in the 1990s were unsuccessful due to damage caused by extreme cold, Professor Iritani believes he can use a technique pioneered by Dr Wakayama (who successfully cloned a frozen mouse) to overcome this obstacle. This technique will enable Professor Iritani to identify viable cell nuclei, and transfer them to egg cells of an African elephant which will carry the mammoth for a 600 day pregnancy."

15 of 312 comments (clear)

  1. jaunty tune by bhcompy · · Score: 4, Funny

    I recall the time they found those fossilized mosquitoes and before long they
    were cloning DNA
    Now I'm being chased by some irate velociraptors
    Well believe me...This has been one lousy day

    Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
    All the dinosaurs are running wild
    Someone shut the fence off in the rain
    I admit it's kind of eerie

    But this proves my chaos theory
    And I don't think I'll be coming back again
    Oh no

    I cannot approve of this attraction
    'Cause getting disemboweled always makes me kind of mad
    A huge Tyrannosaurus ate our lawyer
    Well I suppose that proves...they're really not all bad

    Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
    All the dinosaurs are running wild
    Someone let T. Rex out of his pen
    I'm afraid those things will harm me
    'Cause they sure don't act like Barney
    And they think that I'm they're dinner not their friend
    Oh no

    Jurassic Park is frightening in the dark
    All the dinosaurs are running wild
    What a crummy weekend this has been
    Well this sure ain't no E-ticket
    Think I'll tell 'em where to stick it
    'Cause I'm never coming back this way again
    Oh no...Oh no

  2. Re:before you do it by 19thNervousBreakdown · · Score: 4, Funny

    Fuck that, I can't wait until one of these things goes nuts and starts goring the fuck out of everything.

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  3. Re:before you do it by Tackhead · · Score: 5, Funny

    before the hundreds of comments saying that this is wrong and shouldnt happen show up... dont bother.... lighten up and have a drink

    I can't. I don't even know what wine goes with elephant, let alone what wine goes with mammoth.

  4. I say blaze ahead fearlessly. by GeneralEmergency · · Score: 2, Funny

    'Cause they might be yummy!

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    "A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
    GeneralEmergency
  5. YaBaDaBaDoo by rumblin'rabbit · · Score: 4, Funny

    Excellent. I could use a baby mammoth to help with the dishes.

  6. Obligatory... by GeneralEmergency · · Score: 5, Funny

    Eh...It's a living.

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    "A microprocessor... is a terrible thing to waste." --
    GeneralEmergency
  7. Re:before you do it by paiute · · Score: 5, Funny

    think of all the damage kudzoo is doing in habitats where it is non-native.

    The mammoths will eat all the kudzu.

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  8. Re:A Modest Suggestion by timeOday · · Score: 4, Funny

    Naw, she's too busy running for President and taping her reality show.

  9. the secondary problem by circletimessquare · · Score: 1, Funny

    once the mammoth is revived, how do we keep Sarah Palin from shooting it?

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    1. Re:the secondary problem by GodfatherofSoul · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hide him in a library.

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      I swear to God...I swear to God! That is NOT how you treat your human!
  10. Re:Obligatory Dr. Ian Malcolm quote by aussie_a · · Score: 5, Funny

    Its okay. If elephants get wiped out we can wait a few centuries and then implant elephant embryos into mammoth's so they can get their revenge.

  11. Re:before you do it by BasilBrush · · Score: 4, Funny

    A mammoth on a slippery slope would be very amusing to watch! Let's do it!

  12. Re:before you do it by MobileTatsu-NJG · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should.

    You realize you're quoting Jeff Goldblum, right?

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  13. Re:I want the passenger pigeon by Gaygirlie · · Score: 3, Funny

    Giant beaver, now that sounds interesting!

  14. Re:That would be awesome by Phoghat · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Sure everything's fine, them comes the yelling and screaming" Jeff Goldblum

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