Slashdot Mirror
No Playboy App For iPad, After All
tsamsoniw writes "The rumors that a Playboy app would appear in the Apple App Store were greatly exaggerated. Playboy plans to offer an online service through which subscribers can access past and current issues of the nudie mag — and per Playboy, it will be accessible via Safari and support iPad features (whatever that means). But if Playboy does come out with a native app for iPad, all the nudity will be censored. That should be just fine for the legions of people who indeed read the magazine for the articles. This really shouldn't be a surprise, though: If Apple insists on 'protecting' users of its high-priced gear from pixelated naughty bits in a graphic-novel version of classic literature, it certainly won't let users access the full monty. It's a shame, though: If Apple's customers want access to that sort of content, Apple should allow them to get at it via a native app instead of suffering a potentially buggier, less secure browser-based experience."
and support iPad features (whatever that means)
It means:
- It will be locked down.
- Touch interaction with 'models' will be disabled.
- Page turning will be forced on a 20 second timer to ensure users don't get too 'excited'.
- All images of screwing will be replaced with 'pentalobular interaction'.
- Steve Jobs will read the articles via a quaint brittish accent TTS engine.
- All images will come with an accompanying 'I'm Offended!' reporting link.
- All nipple shots will be replaced with miniature Natalie Portman faces.
'We are trying to prove ourselves wrong as quickly as possible, because only in that way can we find progress.' RPF