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Australia Creates Cyberwarfare Unit
An anonymous reader writes "Australia's Federal Government computer emergency response team and other spy agencies are teaming up to create a cyberspooks unit to counter threats from other countries, the nation's chief lawmaker said last night. In a speech referencing Stuxnet and GhostNet, Attorney-General Robert McClelland said the unit would protect sensitive Australian Government and business information from espionage by the nation's foes. Recently new powers were handed to spymasters to deal with the enhanced security threat that the Greens party said were 'excessive.'"
Recently new powers were handed spymasters to deal with the enhanced security threat that the Greens party said were 'excessive.'"
Because when the Greens party says an enhanced security threat is excessive, you know the new powers won't be able to deal with it unless we hand them spymasters!
(Is a apymaster kinda like a viewmaster, you know, those old stereoscope-wheel gadgets?)
"the unit would protect sensitive Australian Government and business information from espionage by the nation's foes."
Those darn Kiwis.
"National Security is the chief cause of national insecurity." - Celine's First Law
Robert McClelland's problem isn't countering cyber-threats from other countries.
His office has trouble understanding cyber-threats from other countries.
Bunch of school girls jumping up on their chairs when they see a mouse. If they could only see themselves.
For justice, we must go to Don Corleone
Take advantage of Australia's uniquely malevolent fauna and boost domestic IT manufacturing by mandating that the bit-buckets into which all routers and security appliances drop potentially malicious packets be filled with saltwater crocodiles. All patched but unused ethernet drops are to be protected by nests of poisonous spiders.
Looks like the framework is being pout place to make sure we all remain loyal to the Australian government (and the financial interests it serves), or else.
If the reader thinks we are really under threat from terrorists look up "false flag operations". Do these people sit around twiddling their thumbs waiting for terrorists give them the chance to introduce this type of legislation?
Would the Cyberwarfare Unit be equipped with cybernetic limbs, eyes and be able to jack in to the 'net?
Or should it really be called an Internet Warfare Unit, that employs non-cyborgs to protect and attack over the internet?
Be kind to folk from the US. Their dialect of English broke away from the mainstream a long time ago, and they have kept many forms and regional linguistic quirks from the time of their first settlement by English-speaking people. We in the south (AU/NZ) have kept closer to conventional English, despite colourful usage and NZ vowel shifts...
"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups" seen on someone's blog...
Just so we're clear:
Is the hat going to be the image for all Australia stories, whether they be about encryption, M$, Telus, the National Broadband initiative, kangaroos, etc.?
Does any other country get the same treatment?
I'm not a lawyer, but I play one on the Internet. Blog
Ya know our Republicans won't be able to stand for being outdone by the Aussies in developing methods to control the flow of information over the Internet...
Langley, Virginia,
October 23, 2013.
Office of the newly formed American Cyberwarfare Unit.
Spymaster: Well gentlemen, to help in the formation of this new unit, we've asked some of our allies to share their knowledge. / points to heavy set man in shadows.
Spymaster: Special Agent Bruce of Orstralya.
/ man in wearing a blue singlet, acrubra hat and blue jeans walks into the light, in his right hand he's holding a can of beer.
Agent Bruce: G'day Yanks, yer government has asked me here to talk about ya new cyberwarfare unit.
/ takes big swig of his beer.
Agent Bruce: Right, where was I. Oh yeah the cyber warfare unit, back in Oz we just called it the unit, we'd have a piss up every friday, barbie at the end of the month and a few beers in between. It's important to remember, our main enemies in Horstrailya were the Kiwi's, the Pom's and the Koala Drop bears. Traditionally the vicious drop bears used to drop on people but since we put phone lines near the trees they've become ever more dangerous.
/ Skulls the rest of his beer.
Agent Bruce: Well the Koala Drop Bears learned how to order from Dell, they began to set up wireless networks, moving their operations away from the powerlines.
/ Opens the esky, cracks another tinny.
Agent Bruce: Well that's not as bad as the sharks, these things were 19 metres long and can follow you on shore for 200 KM's. I once saw me mate Gary running along the highway, I said "Gary, why ya runnin so fast" and he said "that bloody Shark" and I said "She'll be right, mate" and we both took off down the pub. Speaking of which, it's beer o'clock time already. Tomorrow we'll cover the hoop snakes but today, where's the nearest watering hole?
Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
This group will play a valuable role in ensuring that Australians get all the censorship they could ever want. May not be setup with that intention, but it's difficult to imagine the Australian government doing something that is entirely unrelated to censorship.
-- Using the preview button since 2005
When we catch 'em we'll drop the bastards. . . . . . . .
Comment removed based on user account deletion
Obviously written by a whingeing Pom or sheep-shagging Kiwi, the bastards.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
http://vimeo.com/3519680
It's about an hour long for anyone who's interested.
TL;DW version: no country is going to waste time developing attacks and trying to coordinate with physical attacks when they can be disarmed by Microsoft releasing a patch. Besides, if you want something DoS'd, it's much easier to just blow it up; that way the admins can't just reboot or restore the damn thing and have it up again within minutes. Most importantly, even if you've managed to cripple a country's networks -- including their military networks -- you need to still be able to back it up with physical force to exploit your temporary advantage. So, he concludes that criminals, terrorists, and spies will be a problem, but "cyberwar" will never really happen.
Working...
I'm creating a cyberwarfare unit too! If anyone wants to join, you get to pick your own cool "handle". Please respond with your name and favorite pizza toppings.
Can I be Neo, please? And the toppings are chilli con carne, spicy pork and extra garlic and jalapenos. (I prefer to work alone, BTW).
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it
I'm pretty sure in America, a child would come home and say "I went to school today". They don't say "I went to THE school today".
Yet Americans say "the hospital" and "the university"! The latter is particularly weird since a university is an educational institution just like a school is!
Two points:
1. In the case of schools, hospitals and universities, there are more than one. Saying 'the' implies that there is only one.
2. Regardless of whichever is grammatically 'correct', at least the UK/Australia/NZ/etc are consistent which grammatical structure they use. In America it's all over the place ('to school' is OK, but not 'to hospital' or 'to university').
Note that I don't actually care about this. Language has lots of regional differences and it's a petty thing to be worried about. But if you are going to be critical of someone pointing out one of these oddities, you had better at least recognise that your own way of doing things is not without its own glaring inconsistencies.
What a joke.
What else can you expect from the geniuses that proposed the national evil filter...
My grammar's fine and she don't need no hospital.