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Oracle's Ellison Accused of Running Executive Fighting Ring

Posted by Soulskill on from the my-money's-on-ballmer-if-he-can-wield-chairs dept.

Mr. Shotgun writes "SEC investigators Jedi Vulcans Cylons claim to have broken up an underground fighting ring in which participants beat each other bloody dueled with lightsabers battled in mind melds nuked Caprica . To add insult to injury, the victors then brokered business deals that skirted US securities law and deprived the losers of valuable stock options midichlorians katras skinjobs . The mastermind behind the Silicon Valley fight club is alleged to be eccentric billionaire and Oracle CEO Larry Ellison Mace Windu Sarek, son of Skon GE toaster ."

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  1. Stop (+1) by slshwtw · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Excuse me while I mine +1 insightful mods by complaining about how much this site sucks on April Fools each year.