Ask Slashdot: Advice On a DIY Neutron Beam?

Max Littlemore writes "I have been breeding thorium cattle children gremlins at home using lots of old smoke detectors with a view toward generating my own electricity radiation plutonium wormhole and getting off the grid. The only thing stopping me is a reliable neutron beam. Given that all the equipment I'm using is re-purposed kitchen equipment, concerns about safety mean I'm reluctant hesitant exuberant defiant to build a uranium reactor to supply neutrons to the thorium one. So I'm putting the question out there: do any Slashdotters know of a hazardous good safe legal way to make a powerful neutron beam out of things I might find around the house?" It would be helpful to include images and diagrams of your own personal neutron beam generators rifles casseroles beer .

Comments

Neutron Beam... Beer!

[Tackhead]

"I have been breeding [thorium] at home using lots of old smoke detectors with a view toward generating my own [electricity] and getting off the grid. The only thing stopping me is a reliable neutron beam. Given that all the equipment I'm using is re-purposed kitchen equipment, concerns about safety mean I'm [hesitant] to build a uranium reactor to supply neutrons to the thorium one. So I'm putting the question out there: do any Slashdotters know of a [safe] way to make a powerful neutron beam out of things I might find around the house?"

You don't need a uranium reactor to generate neutrons (although if you use the thorium from some lantern mantles, you could probably create one). You also don't need to be messing about with nasty americium to breed plutonium as a neutron source.

Just build a Farnsworth Fusor like that guy on Slashdot did last week. There's your neutron source. Should be pretty safe, compared to the alternatives.

It would be helpful to include images and diagrams of your own personal neutron beam [beer].

Right, that doesn't solve the problem of your neutron beam beer.

Put a bottle of Pu240 Weapons Grade Ale in front of your Something in there'll get activated for just long enough to technically call it neutron beam beer.

At 8% ABV and 100 IBUs, it's a hop bomb that'll getcha bombed even without neutron activation!

If you don't know how, you probably should not do

[BlueParrot]

This is probably a joke or troll, but since there actually have been morons trying to do this sort of thing before:

If you do not have enough knowledge and experience with radioactive materials and radiation safety to know how to generate neutrons, attempting to do so is a Bad Idea (TM). Neutrons are very penetrating and hard to shield against, and when absorbed they activate the material they are absorbed in, creating secondary radiation hazards. Using them to irradiate fissionable isotopes, like thorium or uranium, is an even more insane idea since it will not only multiply the number of neutrons generated, but also produce a dirty mix of fission products, many of which are gaseous and hard to contain.

Seriously, just go do something safer instead, like base-jumping or sword-swallowing.

Here's the recipe

[Kupfernigk]

Take approx. 2kg of sifted weapons grade plutonium (this is perfectly safe, it's sub-critical) and place in a mixing bowl. With a mortar and pestle grind together about 5g of polonium-210 and 10g of finely powdered beryllium. Gradually stir in to the plutonium until the mixture begins to get warm, then add about 500cc of deuterium hydroxide. Divide equally into a 12-portion muffin dish. Decorate with thorium oxide granules and bake in a suitable containment vessel until red hot. Serve on a bed of fuel pebbles with a cesium iodide dressing.