Duke Nukem Forever Goes Gold

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Posted by Unknown on Tuesday May 24, 2011 @05:47AM from the but-will-it-run-on-the-hurd dept.

An anonymous reader writes with enthusiasm "Duke Nukem Forever has finally gone gold!" Looks like it'll be on shelves around June 10th with a demo available for Duke Nukem First Access Club members available June 3rd. Can it really be true?

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correlation here? by alta · 2011-05-24 05:49 · Score: 5, Funny

There has to be some correlation between the guy preaching the end of the world this week and Duke Nukem actually coming out. One of the two was just off by a few days. Is hell going to freeze over? The doomsday guy didn't scare me before (I'm a christian, he's a nut) But NOW I''m starting to worry.

--
Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are subtle, and quick to anger.
1. Re:correlation here? by metlin · 2011-05-24 06:52 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I'm a christian, he's a nut
  Ahh, yes. "I'm crazy and believe in a voice in the sky, but I'm just not as crazy as him!"
  Arguably, craziness is probably an interval variable, but that would mean that you too are crazy, just to a lesser degree than him.
2. Re:correlation here? by SanityInAnarchy · 2011-05-24 09:52 · Score: 5, Informative
  
  While I agree he's a nut, I would be careful throwing stones. Let me put it this way: As a Christian, you most likely believe some or all of this:
  
  ...a cosmic Jewish zombie who was his own father can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.
  Unlike some of the other posters, I don't really want to turn this into a religious argument, but might I suggest that you just leave it as "he's a nut", something we can all agree on.
  
  --
  Don't thank God, thank a doctor!
Stay away from my daughters Duke by KeithH · 2011-05-24 06:00 · Score: 5, Funny

Sorry Duke, Life was a blast back in the day. But, well, you see Duke, while you were in rehab, I got married and settled down. I've got three teenage daughters now and, well.... don't get me wrong - you'll always be a friend Duke - but my wife,see, she won't take kindly if you show up. I afraid I won't be able to play with you anymore. Good luck Duke.
1. Re:Stay away from my daughters Duke by gearsmithy · 2011-05-24 06:38 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I have a solution for you, and it doesn't involve groveling in front of your wife-master! First, wait till your wife-master is asleep, then open up her purse and find your balls. Next, re-attach your balls between your legs (or somewhere else if you're feeling adventurous). Now would be a good time to drink a beer, play the damn game, pat yourself on the back like a man, and try to remember that you're an individual and not a freaking slave to that ring on your finger.
2. Re:Stay away from my daughters Duke by Chowderbags · 2011-05-24 06:49 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  But do it quietly, otherwise she'll wake up.
3. Re:Stay away from my daughters Duke by roman_mir · 2011-05-24 06:56 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  wow, that got one funny but also one troll moderation. What, are WIVES moderating here?
  That explains EVERYTHING!
  
  --
  You can't handle the truth.
4. Re:Stay away from my daughters Duke by roc97007 · 2011-05-24 07:41 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Have you seen the trailer for DNF? One could argue it qualifies.
  
  --
  Oliver's law of assumed responsibility: If you're seen fixing it, you will be blamed for breaking it.
End of an era by davidbrit2 · 2011-05-24 06:17 · Score: 5, Funny

It's time to delay release and chew bubble gum.
And I'm all out of delays.
Re:Too bad by Eric(b0mb)Dennis · 2011-05-24 06:28 · Score: 5, Interesting

This is so true.. although i'm still a 'slave' to the monster out of need.. valve has royally screwed me just like that one time.
I lost my entire account (The entire thing, banned) with well over $300 worth of games. Almost everyone valve-made game. CoD: MW, BF:BC2
How does this happen, you say? You receive a gift from a random friend who you never talked to (The gift was Left4Dead 2, because he wanted someone to play with) and it turns out whoever's credit card he used, issues a chargeback... your account is locked/banned permanently!
No matter what I did or said, I could not get my account back. They wouldn't just remove the offending game. They wouldn't let me pay the ***MEASLY FIVE DOLLARS (on sale) THE GAME COST WHEN THIS HAPPENED*** to get my account back.
They pretty much thought I was part of some kind of credit card fraud ring and banned me outright, when I offered to fax them multiple forms of identification AND the credit card used to purchase *Every single game* on my account...
But no, in the end, it came down to one single $5 gift given to me randomly from some douchebag to take away all my games.
Fuck you Valve.
(I still love you, though.. Portal 2 was awesome.. but this just isn't fair)

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Excuse me, I don't mean to impose, but I am the ocean