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Fetus Don't Fail Me Now: How Scientists Raise Children
An anonymous reader writes "In the latest column from scientist, humor columnist, and stand-up comedian Adam Ruben, he examines his own umbilicus and considers how being a scientist will affect his approach to raising his only slightly post-fetal child. From the article: 'I don't know how other prospective fathers treat their wives' pregnancies, but I saw it as a science project. It had a protocol, parameters, a timeline, and even the one item that makes funding agencies happy: a deliverable. I found myself poking at my wife's abdomen, asking, "Who's Daddy's little gestating blastocyst? Who's recapitulating phylogeny?"'"
All I can say, is "they're doing it wrong." If a child doesn't increase your happiness, you either had the child at the wrong point in your life, you weren't prepared for the supposed negative aspects, you have spousal issues, etc. Sure, there's a lot of things that can drag a parent down that aren't the direct effect of the child him/herself. I've read the studies, they say parents THINK they're happier when in fact they're not? Sounds like the incoherent ramblings of someone with some pretty hefty baggage from their own youth.
Take one look at any proud parent beaming when their child marks another achievement. Take one look at any parent boasting about how their child is so smart because they accomplished some task at an early age. Take one look at any parent when they arrive home from work, and walk through the door to be greeting with tiny feet and open arms. Take a look at all the videos parents post on YouTube!
If anyone could think those parents aren't happy, I can't imagine what those folks think would improve a parent's happiness.
Amen to that. I'm tired all the time, my spare time is shot to hell. I can't schedule video game time reliably anymore, and travel is Highly Inconvenient. The house is a mess and I'm always stressed. All of that is worth it when my kid gives me a big squeezy hug, and watching my kid's joy unfold is pure magic.
Exactly. I can have the shittiest day ever, and when I walk in the door and my kid runs up to me excited to see me saying 'Dad! Dad! Dad!' everything else disappears.
I call it 'The Aristocrats'
No kidding! A parasite reduces the host's reproductive efficacy!
well, technically a fetus is a barrier to it's host becoming pregnant.....I think you just added to 'parasite' argument rather than detract from it.
HA! I just wasted some of your bandwidth with a frivolous sig!
May I politely request that you teach her to be a twitch, spawn-camping, FPS-dominating polite young lady instead? :-)