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Man Tries to Patent His "Godly Powers"

Posted by samzenpus on from the this-patent-brought-to-you-by-shampoo dept.

KWInt1601 writes "A man who believes he is Christ files a patent application — and the formal dance of responding to office actions from the USPTO begins. Invoking the 1998 State Street decision, the applicant argues, 'like software, godly powers is a method, and affects a machine. Like business methods, godly powers produces a useful, concrete, and tangible result, and that should be all that's needed for statutory material.'"

4 of 192 comments (clear)

  1. Please grant it... by SMoynihan · · Score: 5, Funny

    It would be freaking hilarious if they granted it, and he went around suing all the Churches...

    Please, please, please...

  2. Ooh! Ooh! by Moryath · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sorry, but we have prior art. See also Respawn.

    Also, your system has a respawn lag time of about 3 days. Not very efficient. Especially for someone who claims his boss/dad created an entire universe in less than a week.

  3. What next? by Dyinobal · · Score: 4, Funny

    What's next some guy tries to patent his sexual technique so he can troll porn companies by sueing them when they use it?

    1. Re:What next? by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 4, Funny

      It would be one of the few legitimate excuses to submit a schematic drawing of your genitalia to a government office...

      On the other hand, matters could get rather humiliating when the porn industry comes to trial and argues that "the 'apparatus' covered by claimant's patent is clearly of such dimensional disparity with the apparatus in common industry use that the applicable methods cannot be judged to be sufficiently similar to be infringing..."