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Steve Jobs: the Comic Book
An anonymous reader writes "Steve Jobs' life and career is to be imortalised in a comic book biography. "Steve Jobs: Co-Founder of Apple" appears to describe his life from birth to the current day. Jobs notoriously hates biographies, so it'll be interesting to see how he responds to this one."
Yes, I know it happened. But did they really have to show it?
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
I'm Keir Thomas, the author of this piece. For some reason the PCW editor only used one of the images I sourced (although I believe they're putting more online). More pics can be found here:
http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg1.jpg
http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg2.jpg
http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg3.jpg
http://keirthomas.com/jobscomicpics/Steve Jobs-JCS-pg4.jpg
He's fought them because they weren't sufficiently worshipful--and because they mentioned uncomfortable little issues like the daughter he denied for years (yes, one of the richest men in the U.S. let his daughter be raised on welfare with no father) or how he fucked over Steve Wozniak (the guy that really started Apple). Jobs doesn't like biographies because they inevitably show him as the shitheel-excuse-for-a-human-being he really is.
SJW: Someone who has run out of real oppression, and has to fake it.
Neuroscientists have found that religious fervour lights up the same parts of the brain as waiting in line for your devotions at the Apple Store.
The scientists were interviewed by a BBC programme exploring the fantastically lucrative and popular brands springing up around the supernatural. Religions such as “Christianity” parody the story of the semi-mythical Steve Jobs’ virgin birth, adoption by a humble Silicon Valley family, founding of Apple, expulsion from the fold, decade in the wilderness and triumphant Second Coming, in which devotees were led to enlightenment, glory and hipness.
“We suspect religions may be memetic parasites latching onto the areas of the brain evolved to appreciate Apple products,” said one scientist whose name is being withheld for protection from outraged Apple jihadis. “The scans of ‘religion’ appear remarkably similar — the adrenal glands are stimulated and the same areas of the visual regions light up. Somewhat in the shape of an apple. No, really! Apple-shaped brain stigmata! I’ve contacted Cupertino with news of a miracle, and put the scans up on eBay.”
Cupertino’s response was frosty. “To have the sacred enlightenment of the products of our saviour Steve maligned by comparison to mere witchdoctor cultist mumbo-jumbo is no less than a calculated insult. One important difference is that our stuff works. If you hold it right.” The spokesman then compared the neuroscientist’s mother to a PC.
“The comparison is ridiculous,” said “religious” leader Joe “Happy Heil” Ratzinger. “We’re just out to make an honest buck like anyone. Well, fairly honest.”
http://rocknerd.co.uk