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Iran Plans To Put a Monkey Into Space
arisvega writes "Iran plans to send a live monkey into space in the summer, the country's top space official said after the launch of the Rassad-1 satellite, state television reported on its website on Thursday. 'The Kavoshgar-5 rocket will be launched during the month of Mordad (July 23 to August 23) with a 285-kilogramme capsule carrying a monkey to an altitude of 120 kilometres (74 miles),' said Hamid Fazeli, head of Iran's Space Organisation. No mentioning on retrieving the monkey, though."
But do they really think they can get a member of the US congress to cooperate with their space progra...
Oh, wait, you meant the OTHER kind of monkey. Oh, right. Go on then.
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...Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is an astronaut!
This was done fifty years ago. Then again, I seriously doubt this kind of thing has anything to do with an actual space program and more a flimsy facade for a rocket test.
This sounds all scientific and stuff, but basically the sending of larger mammals (plus life support gear) into space also indicates that you can send a nuclear warhead to any place on Earth. The Soviets first did this with Laika aboard Sputnik II, and this basically started a new phase of the cold war.
The question is, can you get it down alive?
Thats all heavy lift like that is at that point, testing ICBMs and throw-weight under the cover of "civilian" or "scientific" research.
Send Mrs. Monkey to accompany him as well. He will be bored to death otherwise for not having someone by his side to pick tasty morsels out of his hair! or vice versa of course.
I know, i know dont feed the trolls. But, i need to ask, is it just this one crazy racist (i refrain from harsher language as i dont want to get it exited) that spams up Slashdot or...?
You're going to find a lot of racists in this thread. Already very nearly every post is "ZOMG THE IRANIANS ARE MONKEYS LOL!"
...how they kidnapped George W. Bush in the first place.
What did you expect? There's been a war against the middle east going on for quite some years. Dehumanizing the enemy is always part of the plan, seems it has caught on well.
Ubi solitudinem faciunt, pacem appellant.
Space exploration or ICBM reasearch? Like another post said, putting a 285+ Kg into space demonstrates that they now have the capability to launch rockets that can reach anywhere on Earth (although maybe not accurately, yet). Furthermore, the fact that they are sending it up into space, controlling its free orbit trajectory, but not planning to recover the capsule suggests they are more interested in the launching and in-flight capabilities of the rocket than any of the other data that may be associated with the 'passenger.' Perhaps I am reading too much into this, but this just screams of ICBM research to me.
Poor monkey, shoulda just taken the lashes.
Did Microsoft's board contract with Iran to launch Ballmer?
It would be a monkey specially trained to guide the ICBM (disguised into a space ship) to a particular place on earth and then activate its nuclear warhead. Using a trained monkey is the only way to make sure no computer worm will interfere with their nuclear program.
Nuclear warheads do not require precise accuracy to be effective.
They don't mention the type of warhead the monkey will have in his arms.
... but not planning to recover the capsule ...
So does the monkey get to die of thirst or suffocate?
Nice.
Eclectic beats from Leeds, UK
handmadehands.co.uk
...dehumanizing the victim makes things simpler
It's like breathing with a respirator
It eases the conscience of even the most conscious
and calculating violator
Words can reduce a person to an object,
something more easy to hate
An inanimate entity, completely disposable,
no problem to obliterate.
But death is the silence
in this language of violence
"You're right," Fisheye says. "I should have set it on 'whip' or 'chop.'"
The monkey might go off course and land outside of Iran. The Iranian leadership would then run a great risk of the monkey defecting and giving up all their secrets.
Working...
to test their airborne laser weapon
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boeing_YAL-1
Politics is Treachery, Religion is Brainwashing
I hope Iran upgraded Photoshop to support the features required this time.
So? The US and Russia both have a lot of nukes, and they're by some margin more precise than whatever Iran could test.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Any chance the "monkey" will be wearing a cheap tan jacket? Now that would be progress.
Make love, not reality television.
A true leader, he takes his people onto the next level!
Too bad Georgie wasn't that much of a monkey. I would have voted for the funding, and I bet a lot of people would have so too, if NASA had only promised to pull a Columbia on reentry.
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Why not? Are they on the export restriction list now, too?
Fuck, may we at least sell some kind of crap to Iran without the US starting to stir up a stink?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Shall we remind them the 'monkeys' are winning...?
No sig today...
It is a MONKEY they are sending. Clearly it is Ahmadinejad and not Khamenei.
The Laika (Sputnik 2) experiment says that the monkey will die of overheat.
Just a handful of trolls. They're probably not even really racist, it's just to stir up nerd rage.
"When information is power, privacy is freedom" - Jah-Wren Ryel
You know...
From self-deprecating humor like "I think of volunteering..." to movie/book references like Starship Troopers (Come on, you apes! You wanna live forever?) or Planet of the Apes...
I mean there's one of those coming up just around the corner.
Instead, the thread is full of "ZOMG THE IRANIANS ARE MONKEYS LOL!" as you've put it.
I mean... FFS... It's such a lame xenophobic approach, particularly since the first monkey in space was American.
Mit der Dummheit kämpfen Götter selbst vergebens
It's about time Achmedinejad got his first space flight.
Hasta la vista, baby.
E
No, I am not like you...I AM SIMION!
.
Prisencolinensinainciusol. Ol Rait!
Sending something into space isn't the biggest problem, it is keeping it intact and getting it back in one piece that is where the biggest challenge is.
Whoa, whoa, what pooped into your breakfast cereal?
We used to have a Bill of Rights. Now, with the rights gone, all we have left is the bill.
Just sounds like little kids sticking firecrackers in frogs or something.
"If any question why we died, Tell them because our fathers lied."
Why not? Aren't they gonna get their 72 virgins?
>
Instead, the thread is full of "ZOMG THE IRANIANS ARE MONKEYS LOL!" as you've put it. I mean... FFS... It's such a lame xenophobic approach, particularly since the first monkey in space was American.
Most I've seen so far are comments about two very specific Iranians being monkeys. Seeing how there seem to be quite a few Iranians who wouldn't mind seeing at least one of these two accompany the unfortunate animal, preferably strapped to the outside of the rocket, I wouldn't call it racism. Or is it racism against Americans to call Bush Jr. an idiot?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey_Gone_to_Heaven
If Slashdot were chemistry it would look like this:Cadaverine
The USA and allies invaded a neighbouring country recently (Iraq). They are just warning the USA etc off thinking of invading them, just wanting to remind potential invaders that they've got the ability to drop a bomb (maybe nuclear) anywhere else on the planet if they need to.
What would the USA do if a country it didn't like had successfully invaded Mexico or Canada and was sitting just off its borders?
Next year Iran is expected to unveil something they call a "wheel".
/EOM
Presumably the monkey will carry the word of Prophet Mohammed into the vasty deeps?
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
Either a monkey an Iranian.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
Iranutangs are apes, strictly speaking.
Confucius say, "Find worm in apple - bad. Find half a worm - worse."
The wealthy outsiders were already there. Or at least those who where able to escape from Europe or the ones who were forced out of all the Arab countries. Of course I don't think wealthy is the term I would use to describe them seeing as all their possessions were either stolen or destroyed. The state creating actions of the UN were SOP at the time. No doubt the British and UN passed the state creating declaration because they were counting on the Arabs to render the declaration null and void by killing anyone who pushed for the agreement. Unfortunately things didn't work out quite as planed. Arab's are the only ones on earth who get a free pass on racism and are immune from criticism so their delicate sensibilities are not offended. They demand respect from the world but the have never offered any in return. They also get a pass on initiating 3 outright and offensive attempts at genocide. Since they got their assess handed to them militarily they have spent the past 40 years repeating lies and practicing deceit in an attempt to re-write history. They shout their bigotry and genocidal goals without reservation on a daily basis. The Arabs have worked hard to earn the hate and disdain sent thier way. But since they always blame their problems on someone else I doubt the situation will ever improve.
Initially i was interestedly reading your reply, but it didn’t take me long to realise you’re an ignoramus.
Show me one fact that contradicts anything I said. I have worked in both Israel, Egypt, and Kuwait over the past 15 years and am entitled to my opinions based on direct observation.
You know, for useless acts of war they have no problems sacrificing themselves, over nothing, yet for an important discovery or monumental action like going into space, they can't be bothered to use their own species, they have to send in a monkey....please tell me why they can't send a human up, everyone has done so already, why send a defenseless creature up in space.....oh yeah....their f*cken scared stiff of their own technology!
...and it wants its headlines back. I mean seriously, there's so much junk up there it's like an orbital junkyard. This is not stuff that launched itself up there. It was carried. On rockets. The type we've been flinging into space for over half a century. But now it's news because Iran decides it wants to doom a few rhesus monkeys in an experiment that consists of 5 steps:
1) Build rocket ...profit?
2) Strap monkey into chair
3) Put chair into rocket
4) Fling into space
5)
Nothing to see here.
"Other are doing it too" is most shittest excuse in existence, Get lost, monkey without most of hair.
What modern Obelix would say today? Of course, "Those crazy Americans!".