Slashdot Mirror
Police Vulture Training Not a Success
rbrausse writes "Some time ago Slashdot covered the German police vulture training scheme; now it is time for a follow-up. BBC reports that the project has failed to take off. The trained vulture hasn't shown interest in working as a detective and confuses human with animal remains. Additionally the bird is shy and prefers to travel by foot."
I've never seen a pun so logical with the problem like this.
fifty years, eh? that's nice, but as former employee of government owned facility, I can assure you that funding for projects is usually given to those that will finish before the funders and fundees are of retirement age or pushing up the daisies.
We have turkey vultures that return to nest in a tree on our property every year. They're intelligent critters, and they do not "finish off" injured animals. They do clean up roadkill remarkably quickly. Late in the summer their young leave the nest and the parents follow them around our yard as they learn to fly.
Sent from the iPad I found in your car.
In other news the police lion project was also cancelled after the cats proved more interest in tearing the police-dogs limb to limb and then feasting on the arms of the trainers.
Excuse the Unicode crap in my posts. That's an apostrophe, and slashdot is busted.
or The Register
That's the problem these days.
If humans had ever thought that way, we'd still be living in caves. Very few people who ever started something like a cathedral ever saw it finished.
They were trying to prove that there are in fact creatures that are stupider, lazier, dirtier, more opportunistic and definitely willing to strike when a man is down than police.
They should have tried lawyers, then.
Vultures are minor league in comparison.
Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. - Voltaire
The key problem was that the bird kept circling local McDonalds' and refused to leave. The trainer explained: "The smell of death made him very excited."
Aside from the obvious title fun, pigs are smarter than buzzards by far and they are already used to find truffles. Seriously, if they can be trained for truffles, they could be trained for finding a buried body. Imagine the hijinks of having a pig that can find both. It would be a twisted sort of lottery on what the pig found unless you could get him to distinguish between the two and signal which it is. Train them to find weed too would be a great trick. And bombs! Yes!
"Today, Pigs found a bomb and saved the day, details at 6 and 10!"
"Did you hear what that news guy called the police?"
"No, I wasn't paying attention."
"He said the pigs found a bomb!"
"Bravo for the pigs then, they weren't out handing out tickets then."
"No, it was real pigs that found the bomb."
"...as opposed to part time pigs?"
"No, these were real pigs as in oink oink, four legs, root around pigs!"
"I get it, they were full time pigs."
"No!"
"No? Either they are pigs or not?"
"Yes, they are pigs but they are swine."
"Aren't all cops swine?"
"From many's point of view, but these aren't cops they are pigs. Well, they are cops, but they are pigs first then cops second."
"So you are going "good cop, bad cop" with this? And pigs are the bad cops?"
"No, no no! These pigs are good cops, they found that bomb! But they aren't cops, they are pigs!"
"Whatever, now you are just being a dick."
Take the Red Pill.