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Steve Jobs Resigns As Apple CEO

Posted by samzenpus on from the au-revoir-mr.-jobs dept.

An anonymous reader writes "The title says it all, really; Steve Jobs has resigned as the CEO of Apple, and would like to become Chairman of the Board. Reasons are not specified, but his declining health of recent years is a likely candidate. He's named Tim Cook as his successor."

14 of 1,027 comments (clear)

  1. Lemme be the frist to say: by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    SELL SELL SELL SELL!!!!11!!!

    1. Re:Lemme be the frist to say: by blind+monkey+3 · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, buy. I'm going full-in. I'll be an millionaire.

      So, you're telling us your a billionaire then?

      --
      BM3
  2. So... by NecroPuppy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Will the Turtleneck of Power be passed on to Cook?

    Or will it instead be enshrined in a glass case at Apple HQ?

    --
    I like you, Stuart. You're not like everyone else, here, at Slashdot.
    1. Re:So... by kaizokuace · · Score: 5, Funny

      Will the Turtleneck of Power be passed on to Cook?

      Or will it instead be enshrined in a curved glass case at Apple HQ?

      fixed.

      --
      Balderdash!
  3. And in other news, the iPhone 5... by MrDoh! · · Score: 5, Funny

    is rumoured to have Flash, USB ports, AND a 3.5" floppy disk.

    --
    Waiting for an amusing sig.
    1. Re:And in other news, the iPhone 5... by Chryana · · Score: 4, Funny

      Picture of the upcoming iphone 5.

  4. To Quote Obi-Wan by darthservo · · Score: 2, Funny

    I felt a great disturbance...as if millions of fanboys suddenly cried out in terror...

    --

    Prove it.

    1. Re:To Quote Obi-Wan by interkin3tic · · Score: 4, Funny

      No exaggeration. This is one of the only tech news stories that I've actually heard about IRL instead of the internet. Someone actually looked at me on the sidewalk and said "Oh my God, Steve Jobs retired!"

      I said "FIRST PSOT!!!!" and was trying to think how to use HTML formatting to link to a relevant XKCD before I realized it was a conversation and not slashdot. But it's okay, I'm safely back in Mom's basement now.

  5. Re:This is a sad day for the tech world by jedidiah · · Score: 5, Funny

    Millions of people also said "yes we do" to MS-DOS.

    Being the vanguard of those with absolutely no taste is not necessarily something to brag about.

    --
    A Pirate and a Puritan look the same on a balance sheet.
  6. Re:This is a sad day for the tech world by Anne_Nonymous · · Score: 4, Funny

    >>...it doesn't look good

    Don't worry. When he dies, Jobs will become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.

  7. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 5, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  8. Re:This is a sad day for the tech world by Bobartig · · Score: 5, Funny

    I don't know how you did it, but you seem to have forgotten about this device called the iPod. Yeah, it brought PMPs to the mainstream. Apple sold a metric butt-load of them and made a mint in the process. Oh yeah, they also created an iTunes store, sold over 10,000,000,000 songs and other related media, and now sells more music than anyone else on the planet, including Walmart.

    iOS and iPhone didn't save Apple, it catapulted them from ludicrously successful to can't-talk-I'm-having-too-many-orgasms-all-the-time successful.

    --
    This is where I get my recommended daily allowance of "Foot in Mouth."
  9. Re:This is a sad day for the tech world by narcc · · Score: 3, Funny

    1) Wipe iPod and enable for disk use.
    2) Back up music library before reinstalling OS.
    3) Drag music files back into iTunes.
    4) Go on with life.

    Just works, eh?

    So according to your steps ... you wipe the device before you back up your data? How's that work out for you?

    --
    Required reading for internet skeptics
  10. Re:This is a sad day for the tech world by Steauengeglase · · Score: 3, Funny

    Jack Welch, Steve Jobs, man just imagine what those guys could have accomplished with an MBA?