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North Korean Dictator Kim Jong Il Dead at 70

Posted by timothy on from the trying-to-contain-my-tears dept.

As reported by numerous sources, Kim Jong Il has died at the age of 70 (69 by some tallies), after 17 years as the brutal head of North Korea. While the cause of death is uncertain, Bloomberg News says "Kim probably had a stroke in August 2008 and may have also contracted pancreatic cancer, according to South Korean news reports."

15 of 518 comments (clear)

  1. Respectfully by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Let us take this opportunity to thank the Dear Leader, who sacrificed his life for the socialist paradise.

    1. Re:Respectfully by hargrand · · Score: 5, Funny

      Too bad he won't be around to see North Korea's planned economic strength and prosperity in 2012.

    2. Re:Respectfully by fuzzyfuzzyfungus · · Score: 4, Funny

      Don't worry. Keratin is durable as hell by biological standards, so Dear Leader's amazing hair should still be in excellent condition decades from now...

  2. Good Riddance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Kim Jong Il is now Kim Jong Dead.

    1. Re:Good Riddance by macraig · · Score: 4, Funny

      Didn't your momma ever teach you never to speak il of the dead?

    2. Re:Good Riddance by SharkLaser · · Score: 5, Funny

      Kim Jong Il

    3. Re:Good Riddance by Pikoro · · Score: 5, Funny

      Perhaps he had an electric fan running on that train? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fan_death

      Also, news here in Japan is reporting he had a heart attack. Over-stressed indeed.

      --
      "Freedom in the USA is not the ability to do what you want. It is the ability to stop others from doing what THEY want"
  3. Hmmm by JimboFBX · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Kim probably had a stroke in August 2008 and may have also contracted pancreatic cancer, according to South Korean news reports."

    The newspaper continued... "We aren't sure which blow dart hit him but it was probably both"

    1. Re:Hmmm by mjwx · · Score: 4, Funny

      "Kim probably had a stroke in August 2008 and may have also contracted pancreatic cancer, according to South Korean news reports."

      The newspaper continued... "We aren't sure which blow dart hit him but it was probably both"

      That's what the papers said, we all know in truth he died from rownriness.

      --
      Calling someone a "hater" only means you can not rationally rebut their argument.
  4. North Korean State television Says... by Scott+Swezey · · Score: 5, Funny

    North Korean State television Says Kim Jong Il died peacefully in his sleep while bowling a 300. (Via @NickGreene on Twitter)

    --
    Scott Swezey
    1. Re:North Korean State television Says... by modmans2ndcoming · · Score: 5, Funny

      N. Korean Astroturfer.

    2. Re:North Korean State television Says... by DigiShaman · · Score: 5, Funny

      A new Internet meme! Nice. Let me try.

      North Korean State television Says Kim Jong Il died peacefully in his sleep while golfing a hole-in-one from the Earth to the Moon.

      --
      Life is not for the lazy.
    3. Re:North Korean State television Says... by dintech · · Score: 4, Funny

      Kim Jong Il died peacefully in his sleep while jumping seventeen double-decker buses on his Harley and juggling fire-breathing monkeys.

      What a guy. Chuck Norris would be proud.

  5. Re:It's a big deal by mirix · · Score: 5, Funny

    Why go to that horrible socialist country when you could go to the capitalist paradise that is Haiti?

    --
    Sent from my PDP-11
  6. Kim Jong Il, by pecosdave · · Score: 4, Funny

    Along with Bin Laden, Gaddafi, and Steve Jobs all inside a year.

    The world is still not running out of assholes.

    --
    The preceding post was not a Slashvertisement.