The Science of Santa

Hugh Pickens writes writes "For decades, mystified scientists have chalked up Santa's power to the inexplicable wonder of magic, but North Carolina State University aerospace engineer Larry Silverberg, team leader on a first-of-its-kind visiting scholars program at Santa's Workshop-North Pole Labs (NPL), says that Santa is, in fact, a scientific genius and that Silverberg looks forward to Christmas each year, so he can ponder the remarkable accomplishments of one of the greatest pioneers in his field. 'Santa is not just a jolly old elf,' says Silverberg. 'He really has an understanding of engineering, technology, science that's far beyond our own.' It all starts at the North Pole where Santa has an elaborate technical setup that rivals the nerve center of the CIA including an underground antenna that listens to children's thoughts. 'He takes those signals and finds out whether the child has been naughty or nice, and ultimately, what present the child wants.' Santa's mastery of nanotechnology allows Santa to grow presents on the spot eschewing the necessity of carrying them on the sleigh which would be prohibitive because of the weight. Then there's Santa's sleigh itself, an advanced aerodynamic structure equipped with laser sensors to find the optimal path, and covered by a nanostructured 'skin' that is porous and contains its own low-pressure system, which holds the air flowing around the airborne sled onto the body, reducing drag by as much as 90 percent. Finally there's Santa's greatest invention, the relativity cloud, that bends time and space to allow for his round-the-world Christmas journey and explains why Santa is so seldom seen. 'Relativity clouds are controllable domains – rips in time – that allow him months to deliver presents while only a few minutes pass on Earth. The presents are truly delivered in a wink of an eye.'"

Comments

Re:Santa of course is not an effin elf.

[datavirtue]

Santa Claus is an archetype established by ancient Nordic shaman who used to gather mushrooms (amanita) in a sack and descend into his "hut" (forget the name of the structure) through the roof to process the mushrooms before handing them out at the yearly celebration that took place around this time. Christmas is an amalgamation of MANY year end (beginning) celebrations that were common over the entire world. This saint you refer to did not descend through the roof of homes in any way and deserves much less credit than the Nordic shaman who were stamped out by the Catholic church (although the tradition is still somewhat alive).

Any association of Jesus and Christianity with this yearly celebration is a VERY late hijacking of this universal festivity. Like other traditions, the Christianity cult had to subvert these cultures to facilitate conversion. Being highly valued cultural traditions they also had to preserve the festivities to ease the transition. Why are there so many "different" holidays that all occur around this time of year?