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DHS Monitors Social Media For 'Political Dissent'

OverTheGeicoE writes "Recently, TSA's 'Blogger Bob' Burns posted a rant against a cupcake on the TSA blog. Perhaps it made you wonder if TSA and its parent agency, the Department of Homeland Security, really understand what we're saying about them, especially online. Well, thanks to a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit from the Electronic Privacy Information Center, we now know a lot more about how they monitor online comments aside from 'Blogger Bob.' EPIC has received hundreds of pages of documents regarding DHS's online surveillance program. These documents reveal that DHS has contracts with General Dynamics for '24/7 media and social network monitoring.' Perhaps it will warm your heart to know that DHS is particularly interested in tracking media stories that 'reflect adversely' on the U.S. government generally and DHS specifically. The documents include a report summary that might be representative of General Dynamics' work. The example includes summaries of comments on blogs and social networking sites, including quotes. Then again, you might remember J. Edgar Hoover's monitoring of antiwar activists during the Vietnam War, which certainly wasn't for the protesters' benefit."

37 of 385 comments (clear)

  1. Mission accomplished by bonch · · Score: 5, Insightful

    From the government that brought us flag@whitehouse.gov. "Homeland security" is a tool used by a media-obsessed administration to justify its ever-increasing intrusiveness. This kind of robotic behavior in which common sense isn't allowed to override unreasonable strictness isn't making us safer, but it is making us miserable. Terrorist attacks have the word "terror" in them for a reason. The killing of innocent victims is just a vehicle for the ultimate goal of instilling paranoia and apprehension to influence behavior, and now we're fretting over jarred cupcakes. Mission accomplished.

    1. Re:Mission accomplished by ozmanjusri · · Score: 5, Insightful
      Why complain about the government?

      All social media sites are now just playgrounds for marketing teams. There are multi billion dollar indusries built around promoting products/slandering competitors while pretending to be part of the onine community. Most of the big tech companies use sockpuppet accounts to "manage discussion" on Slashdot already.

      Why would you care if the government joins them?

      --
      "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
    2. Re:Mission accomplished by bonch · · Score: 5, Insightful

      You're asking me why I care about the government monitoring social media sites because you believe tech companies are paying for sockpuppets on Slashdot? Well, you win the blue ribbon for random rant of the day.

    3. Re:Mission accomplished by BiggerIsBetter · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Terrorist attacks have the word "terror" in them for a reason. The killing of innocent victims is just a vehicle for the ultimate goal of instilling paranoia and apprehension to influence behavior, and now we're fretting over jarred cupcakes.

      Who is fretting? It's plausible that the dimwits at TSA have been brainwashed to be genuinely terrified of the world, but I don't believe the scared masses exist, and if they do it's a result of the paranoia instilled by the US government and not some angry muppets on the other side of the world. NOBODY I've talked to or know of is personally concerned about exploding cupcakes or nail-files being used to break down the cabin door. It's bullshit and it's time to treat it as such.

      --
      Forget thrust, drag, lift and weight. Airplanes fly because of money.
    4. Re:Mission accomplished by kheldan · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Hear, hear.

      To those of you who still have your heads in the sand: Do you at least begin to see now, that the so-called "war on terror" is a bad joke, because the so-called "terrorists" have already won -- and our own government are now the terrorists?

      This shit has got to stop. NOW.

      --
      Are YOU using the TOOL, or is the TOOL using YOU? Think about it!
    5. Re:Mission accomplished by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Because people trying to market things to me is just the way capitalism works. The government spying on you and monitoring you for political dissent is a TRUE invasion of privacy.

      Why people get so bent out of shape because some ads get shown to them will NEVER make sense to me. But the idea that the government spying on you is BETTER? Wow.

    6. Re:Mission accomplished by Runaway1956 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      The McCarthy days. That's exactly what came to my mind, when I read the title, and then the summary. Back then, there was a Commie hiding on every corner, now it's a terrorist. And, yes, it's all bullshit.

      --
      "Windows is like the faint smell of piss in a subway: it's there, and there's nothing you can do about it." - Charlie Br
    7. Re:Mission accomplished by ozmanjusri · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Because people trying to market things to me is just the way capitalism works. The government spying on you and monitoring you

      Your government has, and will continue to do many disgraceful things which invade your privacy and limit your freedoms, but In this instance, they're just monitoring public information. Your corporations are not only monitoring, they are actively influencing community discussions (using sockpuppet accounts) while pretending to be part of the community. That is decietful, and in many cases has effectively killed the community (ie, Digg).

      The point I'm making is that it doesn't matter if your government monitors/interferes in social media, because all social media sites are already infested and untrustworthy.

      --
      "I've got more toys than Teruhisa Kitahara."
    8. Re:Mission accomplished by Demonoid-Penguin · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Congratulations, you're the most worthless retarded faggot on the planet for publicly making such a apathetic comment. "Aussie Bob", huh? Go the fuck back to Australia, why don't you? We don't need people like you here in the U.S.

      Dear Bonch/SharkLaser/Overly Critical Guy, this is not the US, it's the internet.

      Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels who believe that the location their parents fucked in makes them superior.

      And that's be "an apathetic" if it was such. Even the timing between your Anonymous Coward shit flinging posts are distinctive. Who ever hired you is an idiot in need of a refund.

      Not too worry - you can just work through that old password and username list you pulled off pastebin and grab another Slashdot ID.

    9. Re:Mission accomplished by geekmux · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Why complain about the government?

      All social media sites are now just playgrounds for marketing teams. There are multi billion dollar indusries built around promoting products/slandering competitors while pretending to be part of the onine community. Most of the big tech companies use sockpuppet accounts to "manage discussion" on Slashdot already.

      Why would you care if the government joins them?

      I'll stop caring once I have a proven, valid, and honest answer from the Government as to why they are wasting tax dollars data mining "playgrounds for marketing teams". If it's so "innocent", then why do they care enough to waste a few billion jumping in these discussions? Perhaps that is the more prudent question to ask and focus on.

    10. Re:Mission accomplished by geekmux · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Because people trying to market things to me is just the way capitalism works. The government spying on you and monitoring you

      Your government has, and will continue to do many disgraceful things which invade your privacy and limit your freedoms, but In this instance, they're just monitoring public information. Your corporations are not only monitoring, they are actively influencing community discussions (using sockpuppet accounts) while pretending to be part of the community. That is decietful, and in many cases has effectively killed the community (ie, Digg).

      The point I'm making is that it doesn't matter if your government monitors/interferes in social media, because all social media sites are already infested and untrustworthy.

      Yes, and the point the Government is trying to make here (which is clearly working), is that they can easily take small "innocent" baby steps like this, just as they been doing for the last 20 years, and eventually it will lead to the flock of sheep blindly following without question or much resistance. The way things are going, you'll either be a blind and obedient servant, or you'll be behind bars for being anything but, especially after turning incarceration into a profitable business model. And they've already proven that resistance is futile, based on the utter failures (OWS) to even exercise our right to peaceful assembly. Seems we're not even allowed to do that without it turning into a taser-firing, club-throwing, pepper-spraying good time.

      It's so damn ironic that we sit back and laugh at other countries massive moves to oppress or control their citizens, smiling under a cloud of illusion and ignorance that a 200-year old document that framed our Rights actually still means something, or that our own Government isn't guilty of attempting to do the exact same thing.

      This model has always been along the lines of death by 1,000 cuts. We cannot continue to be so blind to yet another "slip" of the proverbial knife. It won't be the last if the masses continue to ignore it.

  2. "You have to make people feel safe" by Gothmolly · · Score: 5, Insightful

    This is a quote from a friend's mother, shortly after 9/11, in response to the absurd increase in airport security procedures. As long as people are willing to trade freedom for security, DHS and its ilk will prosper.

    --
    I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
    1. Re:"You have to make people feel safe" by dmbasso · · Score: 5, Insightful

      As long as people are willing to trade freedom for illusion of security, DHS and its ilk will prosper.

      There, FTFY.

      --
      `echo $[0x853204FA81]|tr 0-9 ionbsdeaml`@gmail.com
    2. Re:"You have to make people feel safe" by dragonhunter21 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      This doesn't make me feel "safe". It makes me feel like a prisoner in my own country.

      --
      Sent from my CR-48
    3. Re:"You have to make people feel safe" by Bacon+Bits · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Every time I read one of these stories I think of two things.

      One is the full quote from my signature (damn Slashdot's absurdly short truncation):
      "The road to tyranny has always been paved with claims of necessity made by those responsible for the security of a nation." -- Alan Dershowitz

      The second is that the founding fathers of the United States did not fear Terrorism. They feared tyranny. All the famous phrases from the American Revolution are phrases attacking unjust laws, unjust abridgment of rights by the sovereign government with no redress, and general what-the-fuck-King-George-edness. And don't say the early Americans had no knowledge of the evils of Terrorism. I'm sure every one of them could remember, remember the fifth of November.

      It's getting to the point that the DHS is calling anything the directors of the DHS don't like "Terrorism". The whole problem is the damn word. It's meaningless. It means "something that is intended to cause general fear or panic". Gee, that's as clear as a summer day in San Francisco. You know what we used to call the types of events like Oklahoma City and 9/11 before we called them Terrorism? Because they did happen before, and the word 'terrorism'. If the person committing the act was a citizen, we called it Treason. If the person committing the act was a foreign national, we called it an Act of War. Personally, I find those terms a whole lot easier to manage in my head. It makes it really clear what the problem is. Because "causing fear" is too damn easy to do. Hollywood makes millions of dollars a year "causing fear". We have an entire holiday dedicated to how fun it is to "cause fear". Anthropologists and behaviorists will tell us that fear is one of the most primal and varied motivators. You can't make a law against making someone afraid any more than you can make a law against making someone cry. Not that some asshole isn't trying to do exactly that as we speak, I've no doubt.

      Congress, the Presidency (the office, not just the man), the DHS specifically, and the TSA most especially have embraced ambiguous language, ambiguous laws, and inconsistent and ever-changing standards. They are using them as an excuse to police and confuse the citizens of this country in ways which the founding fathers found so onerous that they chose to take up arms against. One of the first acts of which was citizens storming a military fort to steal the cannons. To our founding fathers, treason and acts of war were less distasteful than the continued governance of a tyrant.

      --
      The road to tyranny has always been paved with claims of necessity.
  3. DHS = Ministerium fur Staatssicherheit by 0111+1110 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    DHS = STASI. And this is just the beginning. When it comes to the US government you can never be too paranoid. Yet another reason not to use facebook. But it's not just facebook I bet. Forums like this or any forums critical of the TSA are obviously being monitored for dissent. For 'domestic extremists', which really means anyone who would advocates abolishing the TSA or DHS.

    --
    Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it? That's what it is to be a slave.
    1. Re:DHS = Ministerium fur Staatssicherheit by hedwards · · Score: 4, Insightful

      We haven't reached that point yet, but if people in general continue to accept the intrusions as necessary, I'm not sure what short of civil war will stop it.

    2. Re:DHS = Ministerium fur Staatssicherheit by jamstar7 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Actually, it is possible (and indeed quite easy!) to be overly paranoid. For example, when you start comparing the DHS to an organization that routinely executed dissidents, that's being too paranoid.

      When the government has created an end run around the Constitiution & habeas corpus, the proper question is, "Are we paranoid enough?"

      Gitmo is still in business. Extreme rendition is a fact of life. And what with the US trying to extradite a UK citizen from the UK for trial in the US for something that happened in the UK, when the government of the UK refused to prosecute him for said 'crime', I think we all need to ask that question.

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
    3. Re:DHS = Ministerium fur Staatssicherheit by Smallpond · · Score: 5, Informative

      We haven't reached that point yet, but if people in general continue to accept the intrusions as necessary, I'm not sure what short of civil war will stop it.

      Would it be OK if we try writing letters to our representatives first?

      Here's a start

      Dear Congressman Cashdrawer,

      As you know, the Air Marshall service is currently patting itself on the back for scrambling fighter jets tp save us from a guy who lit a cigarette in an airplane toilet. Also, an alert screener helped prevent obesity by confiscating a cupcake with an excessive amount of "gel-like" frosting. Despite these major successes, there is reason to be concerned about how funds are being spent by TSA. Although Facebook may well be a threat to "Life as we know it" it seems that the TSA does not understand its mission. It is monitoring social media sites looking for "reports that reflect adversely on the U.S. Government, DHS, or prevent, protect, respond government activities" (sic). However, the purpose of TSA is not to protect itself or the US Government, it is to protect the American people. Please do your F***ing job.

      Thank you

    4. Re:DHS = Ministerium fur Staatssicherheit by GaryOlson · · Score: 4, Informative

      Those same voters born after 9/11 will have developed their mindset in society infused with "terror awareness". To those who have never lived in a different societal norm, the incursions on our liberties will only seem natural. This group will also lack the firsthand stories, with the emotional impact from grandparents, who survived truly desperate times.

      The US has a pattern of desperate times approximately every 80 years:
      Revolutionary War to Civil War (four score and seven years)
      Civil War to Great Depression
      Great Depression to the current Great Terrorist Attacks

      The continuing degradation of our Rights in bits and pieces is just part of a larger pattern and cycle the US cannot seem to escape.

      --
      Every mans' island needs an ocean; choose your ocean carefully.
    5. Re:DHS = Ministerium fur Staatssicherheit by RyuuzakiTetsuya · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Oh jesus crust.

      No. No. no. no no no no no no no no.

      First off, the DHS isn't that evil

      Second off, STASI isn't that bumbling and stupid.

      --
      Non impediti ratione cogitationus.
  4. And the quote at the bottom of the page by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world isn't out to get you."

    I think Slashdot has become self aware.

  5. More detail - please by tqft · · Score: 4, Informative
    --
    The Singularity is closer than you think
    Quant
  6. Re:History ryhmes by GaryOlson · · Score: 4, Interesting

    By posting an equivalency between the Nazi Germany Gestapo and the US Department of Homeland Security, I am declaring myself as belligerent. As such, according to recent legislation, this US citizen may be subject to military detainment without counsel or trial. Please inform my .......

    --
    Every mans' island needs an ocean; choose your ocean carefully.
  7. Hey DHS by Noah69 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Here's some dissent for you: Fuck You. Fuck you and everything related to this systematic destruction of civil liberties in the US.

    1. Re:Hey DHS by Noah69 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Oh, in case I didn't get their attention: I'm an Islamic terrorist socialist nazi communist with bombs. Yeah, bombs. Also Obama. Did I mention bombs?
      Hope their filters work well enough.

  8. Monitoring is fine by artor3 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I'd expect them to read postings and keep an eye out for people threatening violence. That's a good thing. If someone stands up in a town square and yells that they're going to go shoot the mayor, I'd expect cops to take note. Where it becomes bad is if they harass or in any way mistreat people who aren't threatening violence. Is there any evidence that they're doing that?

    1. Re:Monitoring is fine by jamstar7 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Three words. 'Free Speech Zone'.

      Unconstitutional, of course (violated the protestor's right to freedom of assembly at the place they wanted to assembe at), but highly effective. Got the protesters away from the action and away from the camera where they could be ignored and/or beaten into a pulp.

      --
      Understanding the scope of the problem is the first step on the path to true panic.
  9. Monitor this motherfuckers. by 7-Vodka · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Vote Ron Paul 2012

    --

    Liberty.

  10. The Slashdot Choir Responds by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

    You're so right!

    -The Choir

    For the exception the occasional "law and order" conservative, very few of us here will disagree with you. Here's the thing, I know many people who think the government is really out to protect us. They really think that this monitoring of us is necessary and that if you do nothing wrong, you have nothing to worry about - really, I'm paraphrasing a programmer I used to work with and she's actually quite talented, too.

    This security theater appeals to many people's emotional need to feel safe and there's no reasoning with them. I would be surprised if intelligence has anything to do with it because I've this fear pervade all levels of society. And as a democracy, excuse me, a republic, we are doomed to live under the tyranny of the scared huddled masses who feed off of the fear that is fed them by an irresponsible, profit hungry, corrupt media.

    History is loaded with examples of people using people's fear to override their reason and their intellect. It has worked since the beginning of history and it saddens me that it will be true until the day we are extinct.

  11. To Be Fair.. by headhot · · Score: 5, Funny

    DHS was going to monitor Islamic sites, but they couldn't figure out all the squigglies. Since the equipment was already bought, and the contract to their buddies were already handed out, they figured, fuck it, we'll us it to monitor Americans. At least we can understand the language.

  12. Re:History ryhmes by CrimsonAvenger · · Score: 4, Informative

    Maybe you should read the NDAA, because you're wrong. It specifies that military detention is required for non-citizens, but not required for citizens. Not required. They can still do it, they just aren't required to.

    Perhaps you should read it. It specifies that military detention is FORBIDDEN for Citizens, Resident Aliens, and ANYONE ELSe who is captured/arrested within the borders of the USA. Military detention is ALLOWED (but not required) for anyone who doesn't meet the above requirements.

    The key section you missed was:

    (e) Authorities- Nothing in this section shall be construed to affect existing law or authorities relating to the detention of United States citizens, lawful resident aliens of the United States, or any other persons who are captured or arrested in the United States.

    Note that phrase "existing law or authorities relating to the detention of..."

    And "existing law" does NOT allow military detention of US Citizens unless they're engaged in an act of war against the USA outside the USA. INSIDE the USA, they're covered by normal law enforcment, absent a declaration of martial law, which hasn't happened.

    --

    "I do not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"
  13. Yes, DHS/TSA is that stupid by Required+Snark · · Score: 4, Interesting
    From almost 1 year ago: http://crooksandliars.com/suzanne-ito/new-national-security-distraction

    Yesterday, the ACLU filed a lawsuit on behalf of Nick George, a Pomona College student who was detained and aggressively interrogated by Transportation Security Administration (TSA) authorities, by the FBI and by Pennsylvania police when he tried to board a plane carrying Arabic language flash cards.

    You heard right: Not liquids, not matches, not a bomb. Flash cards.

    George, a physics major who's studying Arabic, was pulled aside for secondary screening at the Philadelphia International Airport as he tried to go through security. When he emptied his pockets, the inspector saw his flash cards and he was arrested, handcuffed, locked in a cell for hours and aggressively questioned. Because of some flash cards.

    The following exchange took place between George and a TSA supervisor who questioned him:

    TSA Supervisor: You know who did 9/11?

    George: Osama bin Laden.

    TSA Supervisor: Do you know what language he spoke?

    George: Arabic.

    --
    Why is Snark Required?
  14. Re:Mission accomplished | Be Afraid by quarkscat · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Ten years ago, 19 hijackers armed only with box-cutters, took over 4 commercial aircraft and 3 of 4 of them into USA militarily & economically sensitive sites while eluding the entire NORAD defense organization, causing nearly 3 thousand deaths. At least, that is the official conspiracy theory, that through a series of extraordinary coincidences in near-perfect alignment, 9/11/2001 "just happened", "and that no one had any idea that such an event was even possible."

    Ignored, discounted, and not investigated were such factors as (1) the USA 'Visa Express' program based in Saudi Arabia was used to bring Islamist fighters to the USA for military training for many years and, (2) the fact that at least 8 of 19 hijackers were still alive in the ME and merely victims of identity theft, (3) that 3 office towers built from concrete, steel, & glass fell symmetrically within their own footprints at very nearly the acceleration of gravity in a vacuum, and (4) that senior Bush regime officials were collaborators & signatories to the PNAC document which called for global military hegemony subsequent to a "new Pearl Harbor".

    I don't mean to sound callus about the loss of those 3,000 people on 9/11/2001, but 200,000+ people per year die from tobacco-related illnesses, and 20,000+ people per year die from alcohol-related traffic accidents. We Americans have surrendered our birthright Constitution & Bill of Rights, and have waged "preemptive wars" for the past 10 years in 6+ countries, costing over $1.2 Trillion and over 5,000 servicemen killed & 100,000+ GIs seriously wounded. In all that 10 year period, no additional domestic terrorist attacks by foreign islamic terrorists have ever been consummated, and each serious attack attempted have been thwarted by alert civilians, not the USA police state.

    How has this vast expenditure of blood & treasure, of the loss of individual freedoms, liberties, and inalienable rights, been worth the minimal risk of new domestic terrorist attacks? I don't see the value ...
         

  15. Re:History ryhmes by witherstaff · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Hey at least he was detained. The US is now assassinating US citizens abroad. A 16 year old US citizens shouldn't be killed without at least a trial or doing something really really bad.

  16. Obama was Bush's 3rd term by witherstaff · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Yup Bush was an idiot. Yup Obama is keeping the same pro-wall street, spend happy policies of Bush. There is not much difference between the spending habits of rank and file Dems and Reps, except for a few drastic differences like Ron Paul. The two parties may want to spend on different things, but they really don't want to cut.

    While the Tea Party did start last election cycle with Paul, it's been hijacked by various people trying to lead a grassroots headless organization. Some are bad and get attention in the worse ways. No different than the various occupy movements not having a specific leader.

    But the core belief of a small gov that follows the constitution is valid. Yes Bush was a complete and utter idiot sockpuppet. How he was elected twice baffles me. But Obama really blew his hope and change. Senator O was against warrantless wiretaps, was against the Feds being involved with state legal rights for medical marihuana, was going to close Gitmo, was against the war in Iraq, was going to close redundancies in the government. 4 years later he's broken all of those promises. Yes we're out of Iraq, but it was at Bush's timetable and not any sooner. Oh and the money trail hasn't changed, Obama is still in bed with the same big business/big bank people Bush was. Obama's DOJ has even given up on prosecuting anyone responsible for the wall street disasters. Hell even his Obama care was all pro-big business. If it was a mandated government program that's one thing, mandating private companies for health care, and then limiting new hospitals for competition is obvious lobbying by the existing health care insurance system.

    So if you're happy with Obama being basically a 3rd term of Bush and want one more, then vote Dem or any of the other Rep candidates. Want a chance for something different, go with Ron Paul

  17. Re:Mission accomplished | Be Afraid by Erikderzweite · · Score: 5, Insightful

    Shadowy government agent #1: "We need more oil. Let's invade Iraq."

    Shadowy government agent #2: "We need an excuse first."

    Agent #1: "OK - let's rig the Twin Towers with explosives, making sure none of the thousands of people who work there sees us doing it. Then let's brainwash some Saudis to hijack two planes and fly them into the towers. Then we'll set off the charges and collapse the buildings."

    Agent #2: "Why bother with making sure the buildings collapse? Plenty of people will die when they fly planes into them. That should get the world on our side."

    Agent #1 "Because there won't be enough people in on the conspiracy with just a simple kamikaze attack. We want to have hundreds of contractors, suppliers, demolition experts, security guards, fire department personnel, building supervisors, etc, etc to bribe to keep quiet for at least ten years."

    Agent #2: "Um, OK. Shall we attack another building too?"

    Agent #1: "Yes. Let's fire a cruise missile at the Pentagon during morning rush hour."

    Agent #2: "Not in the middle of the night when no one would see it?"

    Agent #1: "No."

    Agent #2: "But there'll be lots of witnesses."

    Agent #1: "Don't worry. We'll pay them all to say it was a Boeing 757. And we'll knock down some lampposts on the highway overpass too, because I've just realised a cruise missile doesn't have the same wingspan as a 757. Oh, and we'll confiscate some CCTV footage to make people think we're hiding something."

    Agent #2: "But don't we always confiscate CCTV footage when we're investigating something?"

    Agent #1: "Yes. But this time, for some reason, it'll be suspicious."

    Agent #2: “But if we fire a cruise missile, that would leave a 757 unaccounted for.”

    Agent #1: “No problem. We’ll just hijack one ourselves and fly it somewhere like Andrews Air Force Base or Area 51 or somewhere like that, dismantle it, kill all the passengers, burn the luggage and then transport all the wreckage to the Pentagon to scatter around as evidence.”

    Agent #2: “I see.”

    Agent #1: “Also, because the towers have a lightweight steel tube framework to allow them to sway in the wind, and the Pentagon is made of reinforced concrete, a lot of LiveLeak users will be confused by the different impact shapes. So they’ll be happy to believe in the cruise missile.”

    Agent #2: “Um.”

    Agent #1: “What’s up?”

    Agent #2: “Why don’t we just, er, actually fly another plane into the Pentagon? I mean, by that stage people will already have seen two jumbo jets fly into the Twin Towers, so I don’t see the problem with using a third.”

    Agent #1: “For Christ’s sake, how many times do I have to tell you? We want things as complicated as possible so clever people on the internet can spot the holes in our plans.”

    Agent #2: “Ah, right.. Sorry. OK, I’ll go get the brainwashing machine and kidnap some Saudis, then we’re good to go.